How can you build rapport with someone you just met?

To be interesting, you need to be interested. Genuine curiosity in the other person is key. Create opportunities for them to share about themselves, even if you say little about yourself. Speaking about themselves is what will make most people enjoy the conversation and like you as the person who made them feel good. The above applies to most people. But there are some who are very private and seem to hate talking about themselves. The moment you ask them about themselves, they reply with a very general answer that gives you no material for further questions and they respond with a question of their own. Repeated attempts get the same treatment. I find it difficult to “open up” such people. Do you have a good strategy for it?

But also be culturally sensitive: People from different cultural backgrounds might not feel comfortable sharing personal information the first time you meet them. Stick to general small talk topics until you find common ground; then you can go deeper.

Smile. Ask questions about the person sincerely. Let them know you had a great time speaking with them, find out interests, and let them know you are happy to help in any way possible. Aren’t we all looking for the same thing?

Going off the initial LinkedIn statement, one thing I learned a long time ago was to be interested, not interesting. Talking about yourself can be a big turnoff especially when it’s done in excess. Instead, flip the script and ask engaging questions to learn more about others. A common mistake is that people ask a one-off question that they’re hoping to answer themselves, because it flatters them. Instead, follow up with additional questions that show you were listening and understanding what the person said. As the initial post recommended, show a genuine interest in getting to know the person. Don’t set up questions only so you can answer the same and control the conversation. Doing so can break down rapport and kill a conversation.

I find it so important to find that common ground that connects us all. No matter what role someone is in, we are all human. Being authentic and sharing our stories with one another strengthens that connectivity and brings us all closer together. Showing empathy and understanding is essential.

I always hear the saying, "what a small world!" and it's very true. Finding common ground with a stranger is much easier than you may think. Whether connecting over a favorite sports team, a shared hobby, a similar background, or whatever makes you you, building relationships on common ground is how you move from strangers, to acquaintances, to fast friends. It's easier to do business with someone you know, so find that common ground and build on it. After all, you need to find a solid foundation, or ground, before you can begin building on it!

Mirroring is highly effective at creating an immediately relatable experience. For some, it will help them feel that you truly care and have a high-attention to detail. For others, it will let them know that you mean business and that you are a confident industry expert. In general, people like to converse with other people who speak and act similarly. Soft and emotional = I understand you and care about how this makes you feel -- We are in this together! Direct and dominant = Show me you're my equal and that you are as good as you say you are. Prove to me why I need to care -- be the expert and stand your ground!

Recognizing the other person's comfort and mannerisms is very important, it takes an awareness and an ability to make the conversation comfortable. Body language is so incredibly important. I have learned a lot from Amy Cuddy and others on this topic!

Building and maintaining rapport goes beyond that initial interaction; it's like nurturing a garden. Following up and following through is comparable to providing water and sunlight to that budding connection. It's essential as it signals a genuine interest in the bond you're forming. A thank-you note or a friendly message isn't just a formality; it's your way of saying, "I valued our conversation, and I want to get to know you better." Authenticity is the linchpin here. When you uphold commitments, it showcases your reliability and consistency, the bedrock of trust. So, stay curious, stay true to your word, and watch that connection flourish.

Here is something to consider: If person A and person B have just met, who is going to commit to being "the bigger person"? By that, I mean, who will take on the dominant role and do the talking. Let's imagine both persons A and B read the same books, watched the same videos and have the same knowledge and understanding of rapport-building, active listening, good communication practices and so on. Let's imagine both persons A and B approach that conversation ready to listen, but who's doing the talking if both of them are ready for a lot of active listening? What I am suggesting is that we need to stay flexible and adapt not just to push our recipe for rapport-building because there is no universal recipe. Adapt to the context.