How can you build rapport with an introverted co-worker?

My adult son is an introvert and we have learned to respect his boundaries as he grew up. He needs his alone time and time to reset after being social. When he is ready to engage - he does have a lot of ideas and will converse energetically but knows how to self- regulate. He also read the book “The Irresistible Introvert” to help him develop his own brand of leadership.

From experience with introverts, I always take time to set up a Get To Know You with them. I allow more space and pauses in the conversation, and I try to be respectful of the differences as I am an extrovert. Honestly it really works as a good balance when you have an extrovert and and introvert working together. My biggest challenge is allowing more space in conversations to give them the time to speak up or chime in. I have sticky notes behind me laptop that just say “space” to remind me to pause and give that space on zoom calls with others. Overtime, this will allow you to build the rapport with the introverted coworker and in time it can be a really good relationship. ??

Always respect boundaries. Never take it personally if someone is not interested in joining an activity. Some people are naturally more introverted, more shy, more self-conscious, or just don't enjoy a particular activity. Goading someone into doing something that they don't want to do is manipulative and unprofessional. You should always extend the invitation to participate, and you should also always respect that no thank you means no thank you. It does not mean keep asking me.

I worked in three different countries in LATAM. Here we face a type of childhood education based on some kind of so called respectful manners that make an individual most of the times, take the introverted type, To make them feel part of the team, showing them you will be their coach, letting them know that all opinions are welcome and good ideas come from sharing alternatives with mates, makes them feel confortable is key.

The most direct, practical thing is to sensitize yourself to leave-taking behaviors: breaks in eye contact, subtle turns toward an exit, smiling and nodding without continuing the conversation, checking time, gathering possessions. Especially if someone is from another country, their leave taking behaviors may be very subtle. Bigger picture, speak out and dispute this widely shared misunderstanding of introversion. It's a scale, not a label. Nearly everyone is neither an introvert nor an extrovert, but instead an ambivert, responding differently in different contexts. Self-labeling ourselves as introverts is negative self-talk that conditions us to find interaction exhausting. In our epidemic of loneliness, we need to reverse this trend.

Many times, we listen to respond not listen to understand. When introverts start to open up, it is critical to drop your own agenda and ego and truly hold space for that individual. Ideally, to support introverts, we should provide information and topics ahead of meetings so they can formulate their responses and contribute to the conversation.

We have to admit this: we live in an unfairly extroverted world. Extroversion is the "norm" not only in the workplace but also personal occasions. We use words like quiet, shy, loner, reserved, etc to those who don't fit in with these very one-sided expectations; to be easy-going, outspoken, assertive, social, or proactive. When I worked as a lecturer, this was also the case that I heartbreakingly realized. During the presentation course for example, the education system is built to teach people to be actively talking, but so much less, or even not at all to teach how to listen actively (or better - carefully). So, let's change this together. There is no one quick solution to this. But starting a conversation is a good beginning.

Communication is a two way trip, one talks and the other listens then it follows vice versa for the second person. Hearing what someone saying is not enough, listening carefully and acknowledging what they are saying and responding respectively. Its important to make the conversation open-ended and let each person have their say in it, by being polite to each other.

Active listening is one of the secret weapons for connecting with introverts and forging strong rapport. When you truly tune in to what they're saying, introverts feel valued and understood, making them more open to sharing thoughts and feelings. Maintaining eye contact and nodding in agreement signals your genuine interest, encouraging them to express themselves freely. Plus, by asking thoughtful follow-up questions, you not only deepen the conversation but also show that you're invested in their perspective. So, by simply being a good listener, you can enhance your interpersonal communication with introverts and foster authentic connections.

Completely agree. Actively listening is a fundamental aspect of building rapport and fostering effective communication. People always appreciate their colleagues take the time to truly listen to them. When you listen attentively, you show that you value their thoughts and opinions which in turns helps establish trust and rapport. People may hesitate to share their insights unless they feel their words are valued. Actively listening encourages them to contribute more freely. By listening carefully and asking open-ended questions, you gain a deeper understanding of their perspective, which can lead to better collaboration and problem-solving. It promotes clearer and more effective communication, reducing the chances of misunderstandings.

Being associated with creative resources, I've often found introverts more productive. However, its not easy to break the ice with introverts, and in my opinion the only way they get comfortable with you is when they find out any of your interests are similar to theirs. It is essential to get into conversations with them and find what interests to develop a bond. Once that bond is created, they open up to be entirely different individuals, making impactful contributions.

Candid conversations are the fastest way to build rapport with anyone, introvert or not. In my experience, the benefits are huge when working together: you're more likely to receive constructive, actionable feedback - and you're also more likely to provide it to, be that on personal development or on organisational goals. Most importantly, don't try to force this kind of candidness - get to know someone because they, as a person, are worth getting to know, and not because it makes your professional life easier!

Sharing common interests is a great way to connect with others. As a college instructor, I make an effort to connect with students who do not engage as much in class discussion. Just because a person is not contributing to a group conversation doesn't mean they don't have any ideas/perspectives. I am a huge supporter of one-on-one connection. It helps elevate the views of everyone and makes them feel seen.

Strategy: Find common ground by sharing your interests and hobbies. Example: Discover that your introverted coworker is passionate about hiking like you. Share your own hiking experiences. This shared interest can provide a comfortable and relaxed setting for bonding.

In my past career one of the creative ways to learn about each team member was to send out a quick 10 question about you. That way the team knew what your likes and dislikes were. These were shared among the team and this gave great insight to each person. It was a fast way to learn the person next to you also loves X and be able to start a conversation around that. This was also wonderful around the holidays when doing team gifts and being able to add that touch of personalization per member.

It is always the right idea to appreciate the strenghts and talents that someone brings to the table. It honestly should not matter if someone is an introvert, an extrovert, or somewhere in between. If they did a great job, tell them. Even better, tell their boss. Positive feedback, unsolicited praise, and showing gratitude for someone going the extra mile will always be appreciated.

As a high-impact introvert leader, I've learned that the key to building rapport with introverted co-workers is to use my strengths as an introvert. Here are some quick tips: Give them opportunities to work independently. Introverts often thrive in environments where they can work on their own and focus on their thoughts. Assign them tasks that require deep thinking and creativity. Introverts are often good at coming up with new ideas and solving problems. Encourage them to share their ideas in meetings and presentations. Introverts may need more encouragement to speak up in groups, but their insights can be invaluable. To build rapport with an introverted co-worker, it is important to be empathetic and understanding.

This may seem like a small thing, but the honest positive feedback, a pat on the back or a praise for what you observed them do (especially if no one else notices but you) can really do great wonders in your relationship with an introvert. I make sure of this, that when I get the chance to tell my co-workers how great they have been because of what they do for the team, I clearly see that it brightens them up and makes them more happy to go on with the day.

Strategy: Acknowledge and admire their unique strengths and skills. Example: If your introverted coworker is an excellent researcher, express your appreciation for their thorough and insightful reports. Recognize their expertise, which can boost their confidence and enhance your working relationship.

A fun way to highlight and appreciate an introverts achievements is by having a suggestion box style recognition program among the team. This provides an opportunity for not only the other team members to recognize each others efforts but also hear on a monthly basis some of the anonymous thoughts of each other. Then the manager can provide a few small gifts for those who were recognized. Its a great way to get a team involved, and a simple way to include and recognize those introverted team members who normally are not in the spot light.

Introversion is not a weakness. It's a trait we all have to some extent, and it has its perks and disadvantages. Adapting your communication to work with someone with predominant introvert traits, for me, entails first and foremost making time to meet with them one-on-one and connecting on a more meaningful level. While someone with introvert traits may not want to be the center of attention at a meeting or engage in small talk, they'll probably have a rich inner experience that, given the time and space to do so, they may be open to sharing. If you're ready to slow down, tune in with their pace, and genuinely get curious about who they are, you'll find a way to establish a great connection.

As a leader, it is not about forcing people into your way of communicating but rather meeting them where they are at. This is the first thing I ask all team members, what is your preferred communication channel and I adjust my approach to meet their needs.

It’s important to meet people where they are at. Follow their lead and mirror their preferred communication methods. Be respectful of their boundaries. I have a background of working with global companies, so I always try to remember that I may be talking with someone who is working through the night, who had an earlier morning than I did, etc. Always give people the benefit of the doubt.

Adapting your communication style to reach everyone in the room is essential. However, most meetings and “collaborative” workshops are designed around an extroverted ideal. If we want to engage everyone, regardless of their role or introversion, then workshops and meetings, need to include various ways to engage: Individual: time for reflection and writing on a note card or other material to later share Pair or Small Group: share stories, take turns with each person talking and listening for a set period or topic. Large Group: moderated all group discussion where no one voice dominates and quite voices count. Someone documents.

I agree with this and not just for introverts. Learning to adapt communication styles can improve how effective collaboration is with others. This doesn’t mean changing our own preferred communication style, but adapting our technique to the person we are looking to connect with; be it to build rapport, collaborate, negotiate, or influence.

In my experience, introverts typically prefer to listen more than they speak, so effective communication should prioritize clarity and directness, avoiding unnecessary details. You can use yes/no questions, guide conversations, and create a comfortable environment for them to share thoughts without pressure. Additionally, one-on-one interactions are more comfortable for introverts than larger group settings. It’s important to promote inclusivity and recognize their accomplishments while still respecting their space and ensuring their comfort. These thoughtful approaches not only respect their preferences but also help build stronger rapport and trust over time.

Asking for help is a powerful way to create bonds and connections with people in general. It is especially useful with introverts because you can do it asynchronously and in an open and non-deterministic way, allowing people valuable reflection time to process and format their response.

Facilitating face-to-face interactions proves crucial for introverts in the workplace. Encouraging regular, informal gatherings or in person work update meetings or even therapy sessions, when necessary, can aid introverts in conquering their communication anxieties. These opportunities offer a safe environment for expressing ideas and interests openly. As an introvert myself, I've personally found these measures invaluable for professional growth and development. By creating a supportive atmosphere for introverts to engage, businesses can harness their unique strengths and foster a more inclusive and innovative work environment.

Strategy: Extend invitations to collaborate on projects or tasks. Example: If you have a project that aligns with your introverted coworker's skills, send them a thoughtful message outlining the benefits of working together. Emphasize how your combined strengths can lead to a successful outcome.

The original definitions of introvert/extrovert by Carl Jung were not related to behavior or social qualities (shyness, confidence, etc). They were only terms to describe how someone best recharge their mental energy (social batteries). Shyness etc is NOT an innate trait of introverts. It is a learned behavior that shy introverts have adopted, usually early in life, to cope with having to socialize when their mental energy was low. In other words, introverts can be just as easy to connect with as extroverts - when their mental energy is good. So the best way to connect with an introvert is often to pay attention to (or ask about) their mental energy. When it is high, an introvert will be much more likely to want and be able to connect.

Also I believe, that we shouldn't be an hurry to build relationship with an introverted co worker. Its important to give them enough time, to trust us, and make them feel safe to express or share their opinions / views. In some cases I experienced that some introverts are in pursuit of relationships where they are intellectually stimulated with the conversations. So sometimes, if you cant match up to the intellect of an introvert, in those cases, you can always ask interesting questions to get them stimulated, and letting them take control of the conversations, while being a active listener.

Also, when we meet people who don't like to be in the spotlight(often introverts), instead of asking them a lot of questions, we can share about ourselves. It could be something as simple as talking about how our current project is going, what we did over the weekend, or what we're looking forward to in the next few months. By sharing our own stories, we can create a relaxed atmosphere. This way they can join the conversation at their own pace.

Leave introverts alone. The biggest misconception is that one way extrovert is better than introvert or vs versa. The reality is no one way is the right way. Everyone has their own personal level of comfort and we need to respect it. The takeaway for me is to not try to change who someone fundamentally is, and the relationships will build organically from the mutual respect.

- Be patient and allow the relationship to develop naturally. Introverts may take more time to open up. - Avoid pushing them into social situations they're uncomfortable with. Respect their choices when it comes to team activities or social events. - Celebrate their achievements and contributions publicly. This recognition can boost their confidence and encourage further collaboration. - Ask for their input and opinions during meetings, ensuring their voice is heard. - Show empathy and understanding, especially if they express concerns or difficulties.