How can you avoid emotional triggers in conflict?

The next time somebody throws nasty energy at you in a personal or professional setting, remember: 1. It often has very little to do with you, and more to do with how the other person is feeling about the issue in the moment. 2. You have control over your emotions and how you respond to the other party. 3. Don’t react, respond. The reason I say this is because the other party often doesn’t even realize that they are projecting their insecurities onto you because they are not self-aware enough to know how they are coming across to other people, they haven’t had extensive communication and leadership training, or they may have trouble regulating their emotions.

-Pay attention whenever you feel a negative emotion in a discussion. This could be a physical symptom like your heartbeat racing or an uneasy feeling in your stomach. It could be the desire to be defensive or say something hurtful in return. -keep ask yourself ‘why’ you feel that way until you get to the route. It’s often an insecurity that’s been with you since childhood. The more you accept your own weaknesses, understand your ‘triggers’ & where they come from in your psyche, the more aware you will be when you feel ‘triggered’ in a dialogue. You will understand that this is a very personal feeling to you and not the persons fault who has said a particular thing to you Emotions come from within you. They do not attack you externally

I always recommend taking in the feeling. Recognize it. Then visually picture a stop light big ??and red and let it go. It’s good to take the note of the feeling but then situate the mind to focus on the positive to move ahead. This is the yellow or pause you should take. ??You have a choice in that moment to see the option for growth. ??That’s the green light to move ahead. ??? This process is necessary to situate the triggers.

Professionally you go through this multiple times, mostly during a crunch or when under pressure. As a newbie, used to just walk out, had a short temper and instead of venting preferred solace but that use to go against me, was perceived weak. Now I give a patient hearing, try to comprehend why the comment or suggestion is being made. Try to understand the mindset and reasoning. When not in agreement or feel cornered, try to pull out and let the moment pass. Being a leader, i don't interject till things become personal or unruly. Promote constructive criticism and also draw the line where needed. Deescalate by stepping in and make sure to connect with the individual later to lighten up. Perception differs and we need to respect it.

First and foremost, maintain your cool, calm, and collected demeanour. Consider yourself the captain of your emotional ship, guiding it through stormy waters with elegance and power. When those emotional triggers come knocking, express your limits with the calm of a seasoned diplomat. Inform the other person, calmly and authoritatively, when a specific issue or behaviour does not set well with you. It's like flying a self-respect flag and insisting that your limits be respected.

Ideally, you’ll want to use “I” statements. I statement sound like “I feel __ because of ____.” The more you do this, you’ll most likely make the other party feel less attacked. It’s important to remember that not everyone communicates their feelings well, which is why it’s so important to lead by example and model this for them.

Remember, having complex emotions and needing to communicate them is entirely normal and important to the human experience. It's important to focus on how a situation made YOU feel, which is why "I" statements matter so much more. Rather than using "you" statements, which can trigger a shame response in someone else, using statements that focus on you and your feelings can help another person better empathize with you and can lead to a more productive conversation and resolution.

I don’t believe you can ‘avoid emotional triggers’, You can learn what they are, when they happen & how to manage them. I’ve learned that if you express a negative emotion in a self responsible way, it is often complementary of the other person and can be connective. For me emotions are stronger when I care more about a person or situation. Instead of ‘you made me feel unimportant when you disregarded my idea and I’m angry’ Try ‘I really wanted to hear your acknowledgment and feedback on my idea as I really respect your views. I felt like I hadn’t been heard’ Or ‘You disrespected me by being rude to me in front of others’ Try ‘I’d really value your input but I’d like to share ideas more constructively, how about a weekly catch-up?’

The potency of actively listening to others with a natural curiosity as child in wonder would positions one well to temper ones own emotions while the other is sharing meaningful insights that tell of what matters to them that can create a bridge in conflict and strengthen connection. Cognitive empathy shows its weight in this from combining logic and emotions often evidenced by compassionate responses summarizing what was said to seek common ground. In my experience one of the most effective things one can do in these situations is actively listen from a place of curiosity.

Active listening is one of the most effective ways to keep the temperature down when conflict arises with others. However, active listening looks different for everyone - for instance, someone with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) may not provide as many verbal cues that they're listening, or may not maintain strong eye contact - but, those same individuals may show they're engaged in active listening with their body language and non-verbal actions. It's important for both the speaker and listener to keep a close watch on how one another responds to show that they're listening. A simple head nod, an affirmative "right" or "that makes sense", or even intentional eye contact can show someone that you're actively engaged in the conversation.

I have often felt negative emotions when someone expresses negativity to me about an interaction between us. I may feel like they’ve misunderstood what I meant, like I’m the cause of their emotions or like I’ve done or said something thoughtless & I’m a bad person. Now I take myself out of the equation. I accept that I can’t always please everyone & I have things going on in my own life which are distracting. When I accept that I can offend people without thinking or doing anything malicious towards them, I can hear their point of view much better. I find often what people want deep down is more appreciation, care, attention, love. Someone giving their energy to explain their point of view to you is a sign the relationship is growing

The actions both verbal and non verbal to build bridges in communication show their weight rooting from finding commonality between parties. Actively listening to hear what is being signaled through omission in conversation may help hear points to uncover the common ground. Pausing to hear is intangible wealth and those anchored in wisdom of the heart understand this well in efforts to strengthen bonds both in friendly exchanges as well under pressure or conflict. Empathy shown is weighted wisdom to embrace for building bridges for connection.

One of the greatest managers of all time (imho) - Alex Ferguson knew he had to relate to different characters in different ways for best results. The ‘hairdryer’ didn’t work as well on Eric Cantona as others but Ferguson still respected Cantona’s genius. I like to get to know what interests people inside & outside of work, what their passions are and what motivates them. I take notes on successful and unsuccessful interactions with them so I know how to communicate better next time. I find making the effort to comment on positive emotions and attributes I observe makes people feel seen, strengthens our relationship and makes and future conversations on negative emotions somewhat easier.

Simply by saying for example ‘I feel emotionally triggered right now so don’t want to say anything from an emotional place. Can we sit down and talk this through in 1 hour when I’ve had time to process everything?’ Of course to be able to say this you’d have to be self aware enough to recognise to know when you’re feeling a negative emotion and control it. This is the part that needs practise.

If you sense no progress is being made towards a resolution, ask if the other person would be willing to revisit the issue within a timeframe that isn't far off. If they agree, take time to ground yourself and consider what can be improved before your next discussion.

Recognise and confront negative thought patterns that may be causing emotional triggers. Replace them with more balanced and helpful viewpoints to promote a better mentality.

If you have difficulty managing your emotions during disagreements, try receiving help from a therapist or counsellor. They can assist you in developing coping skills that are personalised to your individual requirements.

Avoid saying things that you would regret later If you know that you are not in the right mindset which is to feel hurt, triggered, ignored, undervalued, misunderstood, misinterpreted, embarrassed or anything that has a negative connotation; it’s always better to take a step back and do a quick check if what you are about to say would add any value to the conversation or you are only going to say it with an intention to hurt or disgrace the other party. In most of the cases, what we are saying is exactly what we are feeling at the moment but we might not feel the same way after gaining our composure back. It is because when we are in the situation, we are not able to detach ourselves from the scene and that is why, our emotions take over.