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Last updated on 2024年5月29日

How can you be assertive and diplomatic in communication?

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As a supervisor, you need to communicate effectively with your team, peers, and managers. However, sometimes you may face situations where you have to express your opinions, needs, or concerns without offending or alienating others. How can you be assertive and diplomatic in communication? Here are some tips to help you balance these two skills and achieve positive outcomes.

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1 Define your goals

Before you communicate, think about what you want to achieve and why. What is the main message you want to convey? What are the benefits and risks of communicating it? How will it affect your relationship with the other party? Having a clear and realistic goal will help you focus your communication and avoid unnecessary conflicts or misunderstandings.

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Dr. Jennifer Matthews

Solving Body Worn Camera Challenges for Agencies Across the Nation | Published Author | Podcast Host/Keynote Speaker |
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My best advice would be to clearly state expectations and goals without ambiguity. Listen to employee concerns and feedback attentively. Provide feedback that is specific, timely, and focused on behaviors, not personalities. Address conflicts promptly and impartially, focusing on finding solutions rather than assigning blame. Maintain a respectful and professional tone even in challenging situations. Consider others' perspectives and feelings when communicating decisions or feedback. Lastly, apply communication principles consistently to build trust and credibility among team members.

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Julian Sihite

Consultant | APAC Overseas Projects | Project Management | Operation Excellence | Business Analysis | SAP Functional
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Some people misunderstood and treated assertive communication like a permanent trait. While actually it depends on how we deal with many types of people. We need to specifically define our goals, are we going to reach potential client and maintain good relationship? Then it should be diplomatic with no aggressive words. Or maybe are we going to defend our team and clarify the objective against another team? Then we should be more assertive to setup our boundaries and stand-up for the team. We need to be adaptive with our circumstances, on what extent (WHY, WHAT, WHEN), will we exactly use and switch between diplomatic and assertive communication to deal with other people? Ask yourself and learn the sense.

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2 Choose your words carefully

The words you use can make a big difference in how your communication is perceived and received. Avoid using words that are vague, aggressive, or accusatory, such as "always", "never", "should", or "you". Instead, use words that are specific, respectful, and constructive, such as "sometimes", "could", "I", or "we". For example, instead of saying "You never listen to me", you could say "I feel frustrated when you interrupt me".

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Julian Sihite

Consultant | APAC Overseas Projects | Project Management | Operation Excellence | Business Analysis | SAP Functional
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Communication is the core skill that we should have and improve in every aspect of life, including choosing our words carefully. Based on my experience, I've seen many great people which are excellent in communicating and conveying their concern wisely with less conflicts, win-win solution approach, and at the same time maintaining good relationship with other people. The best negotiator are people that are able to communicate their concern assertively with sincere intention and choosing how to use the words diplomatically with respectful approach. So, we get what we want (win-win solution) and build good relationship (less conflicts) at the same time.

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3 Use the right tone and body language

Your tone and body language can also influence how your communication is interpreted and responded to. Avoid using a tone that is too loud, harsh, or sarcastic, as it may come across as rude or hostile. Instead, use a tone that is calm, confident, and polite, as it may show that you are sincere and respectful. Similarly, avoid using body language that is too closed, tense, or defensive, such as crossing your arms, frowning, or rolling your eyes. Instead, use body language that is open, relaxed, and attentive, such as nodding, smiling, or maintaining eye contact.

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Julian Sihite

Consultant | APAC Overseas Projects | Project Management | Operation Excellence | Business Analysis | SAP Functional
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It's important to use the right tone and right body language to interpret our communication to be more influential in a good way. Don't make any meaningless tense like defensive body language, hatred body language, arrogant body language, because honestly people will be able to feel and sense it, whenever the communication is being influenced with negative emotional attachment.

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4 Listen and empathize

Being assertive and diplomatic does not mean that you only talk and ignore the other party's views or feelings. On the contrary, you need to listen actively and empathize with their perspective and emotions. Listening and empathizing can help you understand their needs, interests, and concerns, as well as build trust and rapport. To listen and empathize effectively, you need to avoid interrupting, judging, or dismissing the other party. Instead, you need to ask open-ended questions, paraphrase what they say, and acknowledge their feelings.

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5 Negotiate and compromise

Sometimes, you may encounter situations where you and the other party have different or conflicting opinions, needs, or expectations. In such cases, you need to negotiate and compromise to find a mutually acceptable solution. Negotiating and compromising can help you avoid escalation or resentment, as well as maintain a positive and cooperative relationship. To negotiate and compromise successfully, you need to avoid insisting on your own way, blaming, or threatening the other party. Instead, you need to identify common ground, offer alternatives, and make concessions.

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6 Follow up and follow through

After you communicate, you need to follow up and follow through to ensure that your communication is clear, consistent, and effective. Following up and following through can help you confirm understanding, clarify expectations, and monitor progress. To follow up and follow through properly, you need to avoid ignoring, forgetting, or changing your communication. Instead, you need to summarize, document, and review your communication.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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How can you be assertive and diplomatic in communication?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Define your goals

2 Choose your words carefully

3 Use the right tone and body language

4 Listen and empathize

5 Negotiate and compromise

6 Follow up and follow through

7 Here’s what else to consider

Supervisory Skills

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How can you be assertive and diplomatic in communication?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Define your goals

2 Choose your words carefully

3 Use the right tone and body language

4 Listen and empathize

5 Negotiate and compromise

6 Follow up and follow through

7 Here’s what else to consider

Supervisory Skills

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