How can Educational Leaders navigate difficult conversations?

Have an open mind, have a high level of emotional intelligence, prepare and gather information regarding the issue at hand, communicate clearly by articulating your goals and expectations eloquently, with no ambiguity, have everyone involved to understand the bigger picture, build strong teams, and build a positive organizational and work culture, devise effective problem solving processes, choose the right time and place, for the conversation, find a common ground, seek to understand and seek to find a solution. Do not confront the person, but the issue. Do not be judgmental nor defensive. Close the conversation.

Generally the purpose is to help. Leaders often lose sight of the fact that they are entirely propped up by their team. There are a few extremely rare exceptions, but generally leaders only function if they have a strong team. Come with a clear purpose that is designed to create options and potential positive outcomes. It will be much easier to succeed with this if you treat your team like human beings, instead of ersatz goons that "somehow" got into "your" company.

I have found it helpful if there are clear expectations established at the outset of a working relationship. A difficult conversation should never come as a shock to a colleague. There should be an ongoing dialogue to refine understanding of what is expected, and, if it is difficult for the colleague to work in the role they have, ongoing support, coaching and mentoring to support them. Clarity in communication is vital! It should focus on professional behaviours and be a discussion that is about moving forwards. A colleague with whom the conversation is being had should come away from it knowing exactly what they should do, and feel supported in being able to do it.

I believe any difficult conversation can be turned into something productive. The purpose should always be to help and support. Keeping the end in mind helps you stay focused on what you want to achieve through the conversation.

Stone, et al. explained that to have difficult conversations a leader must shift to a "learning stance". To do this the authors explain there are 3 types of conversations that must be had: the "what happened" conversation, the feelings conversation, and the identity conversation. The 1st form explains every conflict starts with a disagreement about what has/should of happened. The 2nd conversation asks the leader to intently listen and not assign blame for feelings expressed/those not said but present. The final conversation asks us to pay attention to how the conversation may be affecting the person's own sense of who they are? These strategies will help leaders identify the purpose of the conversation and approach it with empathy.

If possible, meet in a neutral place or in "their" space. If the person you need to share difficult information with is comfortable, the conversation might go more smoothly. Too often, we bring people into "our" space. While that's sometimes appropriate or expedient, it doesn't always lead to better outcomes.

When initiating a difficult conversation should be well thought out and planned thoroughly. I would ask the person to come meet me when they are ready to talk. That way I give them an opportunity to gather their thoughts before talking to me.

Staying Neutral and actively listening to the members fosters a great deal of trust. Once that is achieved, the conversation may take next level.

Select an appropriate time and place for the conversation. Find a neutral location where both parties feel comfortable and can speak openly without distractions. Timing is important as well; avoid discussing sensitive topics when emotions are high or when there are time constraints.

Active listening involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and remembering what others are saying. Educational leaders can enhance their active listening skills by maintaining eye contact, nodding to show engagement, and paraphrasing to confirm understanding. Empathy plays a crucial role in difficult conversations, as educators should strive to understand and acknowledge others' feelings and perspectives. By expressing empathy, leaders create a supportive atmosphere, fostering trust and collaboration in addressing challenges.

Active listening also involves listening to what is not being said. Identifying shifts in body language, for instance, is one way to better understand what the other person is trying to convey and if it contradicts what they are saying. Leaning in to notice your body language change as you listen to the other party(ies) is also a great way to notice what you are comfortable addressing and what to engage in. Empathy is a top people skill and active listening mostly involves empathy in the sense of listening to others' perspectives not just to respond but to understand their point of view.

My journey on developing my communication skill has taught me 3 things: 1. Listen to understand not to reply. 2. Ask questions to understand not to provoke 3. Always remember; What is that we are trying to solve. Do not deflect.

I think that it's helpful to enter such conversations with more curiosity than judgment. The other party of the conversation had a thought process and rationale for whatever occurred, and you may misunderstand the pressures, motivations, or other contributing factors. It can be hard to empathize with how someone else made a decision or acted, but it's easier to offer helpful feedback if you can see their perspective and position yourself as a partner.

One can be good leader when he/she is an active listener and empathise with the members of the team. To initiate a difficult conversation it is important to make the member feel comfortable and respected. They need to use the language which shows the support and gives solutions to the problem also after actively listening to the issue faced.

People naturally approach a difficult conversation already on the defensive as they are worried some fault of theirs could be to blame. It is important to listen carefully and to make sure that once an issue is explained to repeat it back to them so they know you were listening and your understanding is confirmed. It is also important to avoid any blame-based language such as, "so you think". This may seem innocuous but it may be taken as blame and turn the conversation negative. Instead express what you as the leader think and look for contributions from each party to the issue so a solution can be found. If someone thinks they are being accused they will naturally defend themselves. A leader should reassure that solutions are the key.

The key to every difficult conversation is to speak from a place of factual knowledge. There can be no "I feel" talk from the initiator of the conversation. State observable and undeniable facts. Then give the other person a chance to share their perspective. Finally, collaborate on solutions. If you want change, dictating resolution to a problem will not get it. If there's buy in from both sides, then you are more likely to see improvement and positive change.

Set the tone for the conversation by creating a safe and respectful environment. Ensure privacy, minimize distractions, and demonstrate active listening. Let the other person know that their perspective is valued and that you are committed to finding a resolution.

It is useful to identify and state the stakeholders and the foundational values involved in the conversation. In schools, this usually means impacts on students should be considered in some way - a helpful reminder for everyone of the ultimate goal of schools. With this background shared (and possibly amended/reimagined through conversation), it becomes a lot easier to seek solutions as collaborators. "Setting the table" in this way also helps someone having a difficult conversation with a school leader have empathy for the leader's position. Above all, conversations that focus on resolution and cooperation - "calling in" - are going to be more productive than conversations with a more combative stance.

Few solutions what I can offer is 1. Be clear on existing policies and try upgrading it to new needs 2. Make sure we give a proper forum for them to express their suggestions with the mechanism 3. Use brainstorming techniques to encourage more participants and their suggestions open mindedly 4. Each one are different, accept, analyse, understand, then respond rather than reacting situations. 5. Exploring many options isn’t awrong thing to go don’t mind asking anyone anything that you required to get on.

Offering the last word to someone you've approached in a difficult conversation can be a really hard thing to do especially if you are passionate about an issue. Along the lines of being a good listener, I find that ending with an offer for someone to tell you more or to be heard in the way they want to be heard can be very powerful. The response to my final question, "Is there anything else you need me to hear in this moment?" can give me something more to think about for a future conversation and signal that I am listening right to the end.

In my experience and learning this is so key. Closing the feedback loop and hard conversations loop is one of the most beautiful practices to witness. Unfortunately it is witnessed on the daily when leaders, have a difficult conversation, do it and tie the knot right there and then. Being able to circle back to check in and ensure there is no fuller processing that needs to take place or missed information shared in that difficult conversation is vital. Creating a systemic feedback rich environment requires more than one step.

In many ways, this is the most critical step. As leaders in education, time is our most precious commodity. Our roles can be so hectic sometimes that the necessary actions AFTER the difficult conversation is had can easily fall by the wayside. Be sure to take time immediately after your discussion to initiate any follow up support that you told the staff member you would provide. Also take a moment to calendar follow up meetings and informal opportunities to check in. Finally, spend some time documenting exactly what you discussed and what those next steps were; set a few calendar alerts to remind you about all of that.

I find it helpful to take ownership for your part of the disagreement. For example, when letting an employee know they're falling short, you can say, "I know I asked a lot of you" or "I know I haven't been able to provide feedback sooner." Think hard about what you might have contributed to make the situation difficult and acknowledge it.

When I prepare for a difficult conversation, I reflect on the core value of kindness. I am having the conversation because I believe we are capable of resolving the situation and I think that addressing it in the most straightforward, thoughtful, and empathetic way is the kindest thing that one can give to another. Though it may be hard in the moment, I always hope that upon later reflection, the other person still believes that I care about them as a person and a professional.

Don’t delay. If there is a conversation to be had that might be considered difficult then get on and have the conversation. Left unaddressed, what could have been one conversation may be many more and with more than just the original person. Take the opportunity to reflect on the conversation afterwards to assess your own experience, how you felt and what you might do differently in the next one if there are any areas for improvement.