Here's how you can showcase emotional intelligence in your past work experiences.

Empathy is crucial in fostering a positive and productive work environment. One instance that stands out for me is coaching a client who was unsure about leading a project. I actively listened to their concerns and validated their feelings. By offering guidance and encouraging them to explore their strengths, we boosted their confidence and performance. Empathy is about genuinely connecting with and understanding others’ feelings, not just offering sympathy. In leadership, empathy builds trust and creates a culture of collaboration, valuing colleagues’ experiences and fostering effective teamwork.

Conflict resolution is a clear indicator of emotional intelligence in action. In my coaching role, I often play a key part in resolving disputes. I stay neutral, listen to all parties involved, and help reach a solution that is acceptable to everyone. This demonstrates my ability to manage emotions—both mine and others’—and my commitment to maintaining a harmonious environment. As Nelson Mandela says, “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

I have always found that when mentoring other I need to be the mentor that I would want to be paired with. For example a few years a go I mentored a new member of staff that seemed disappointed that they were not paired with a lawyer. Initially I felt great irritation that I had been paired with a disinterested mentee. I had to take a step back to put myself in their position, and engaged with them accordingly. I found out why they had specifically wanted a lawyer mentor, and managed to address their apprehension. We ended up working well together and I arranged for the legal supervision she required. It was amusing to find out that she was disillusioned when she got the legal mentor she had longed for and asked to be swapped back to me.

Emotional intelligence is a great asset however, you need to step back regularly to reflect on how your implicit bias may be affecting your judgements and actions. Flawed leadership is consistently marked with bias, and preferential treatment for some groups, at the expense of others. Self righteous conviction on one's own 'intelligence' often gets leaders into trouble. Remember that a fair, balanced and equitable approach to human interactions works better than 'intelligence' alone.