Here's how you can receive feedback without becoming defensive.

Easier said than done but keep your ego outside the conversation. Gather data by asking questions to understand but don't judge. T

Receiving feedback without becoming defensive involves a mindful approach and a willingness to grow. Key strategies include adopting a growth mindset, viewing feedback as an opportunity for learning, and actively listening without interrupting. Pause before responding to process the feedback thoughtfully. Ask clarifying questions for specifics, and avoid personalizing the feedback, focusing on actions rather than self-worth. Express gratitude to the feedback giver and acknowledge their effort. Reflect on the feedback, identify actionable steps, and implement changes. Practice self-awareness to manage emotional responses and stay calm. These strategies help receive feedback constructively, facilitating personal and professional growth.

Many years ago as a young educator and swimming coach, I was often confronted by parents who would give me their opinions on my team choices , frequently in an aggressive manner. My initial response was always immediate in order to defend my decisions . An older , wiser colleague pointed out, that it was far more beneficial to listen attentively , give no response on the spot , but ask for a meeting in private the following day! As I soon learned, these outbursts were in the heat of the moment. Very rarely did it lead to a meeting the following day! By simply listening , and not responding immediately, I avoided any further conflict.

One helpful practice is to actively listen by paying attention to the speaker, maintaining eye contact, and avoiding interruptions. It's also important to repeat what you've heard to ensure understanding.

Understanding over Reaction: By actively listening, you prioritize comprehending the feedback before getting defensive. This ensures you grasp the true message and intent behind it. Respectful Communication: It shows respect for the person giving feedback and creates a space for open dialogue. Informed Response: You can then formulate a thoughtful response that addresses the specific points raised.

One thing I have found helpful is to Avoid getting defensive.Don't immediately explain or justify your actions. Instead, focus on understanding the perspective.

While seeking clarification, try and approach it with curiosity and objectivity. Ask open ended questions probing for additional data wherever relevant. For example, try something like " I heard you say xyz, can you please elaborate on it a little more or could you give more evidence so I can better understand your statement". This signals a solutions oriented approach to the person in front as well.

If someone is taking the time to give you feedback, it means they see a way things can be better in how you work together. If you don't agree with the feedback or the way it was delivered, it's often from a place of hope for the future. Acknowledging what is, or might feel like, a personal risk in asking you to work with them differently is important. It shows you value constructive feedback and your shared goals. It can build common ground for a better working relationship in the future.

Receiving feedback without becoming defensive is crucial in education, where the focus should always be on student success, not ego. Adopting a growth mindset helps in this process. Recognize that feedback is an opportunity for growth and improvement, not a personal attack. Stay open-minded and listen actively, considering how the feedback can help you better support your students. Reflect on the feedback and identify specific areas for development. By focusing on continuous learning and improvement, you can create a positive, student-centered environment where every decision is made with their success in mind.

Receiving feedback without defensiveness requires an open mindset and active listening. Start by acknowledging the feedback without judgment, focusing on understanding the perspective being shared. Take a moment to reflect on the feedback before responding, considering its validity and potential for growth. Ask clarifying questions to gain deeper insight and show appreciation for the feedback. Avoid becoming defensive by reframing criticism as an opportunity for improvement rather than a personal attack. Embrace feedback as a valuable tool for learning and development, recognizing that constructive criticism can lead to personal and professional growth.

Based on the feedback, you will likely identify areas of improvement. Let your stakeholders know what those are and enlist them in supporting you. If it is (the classic) "listen better", ask them for ideas on how you can do that better. After a few weeks or months, ask how you're doing in relation to the goal. Lastly, be patient. Perception usually lags behind the behavior change.