Here's how you can navigate challenging conversations with assertiveness using executive coaching.

Understanding yourself is crucial. Assertiveness may be something that does not come naturallly to you, perhaps because of your personality or your upbringing. That’s ok. You may need to act “out of character”. Below are a few questions I tend to use with my clients when dealing with this issue: 1. What situations can you see where you could be more assertive? 2. Why do you think is holding you back from being more assertive? 3. Have there been other type of situations where you actually were assertive? Why do think in those situations you displayed a more assertive attitude? 4. Can you think of people you work with that are more assertive? What do they do different than you do? Is there something you can learn from how they act?

3 areas to consider for Assertiveness: 1 - Clarify Your Intent To avoid any wrong assumptions, ask yourself e.g. do you need to express your POVs, make a stand or to influence others to take actions? Try openers like "I would like to ..." etc. 2 - Pace Your Assertion Much as we want a certain outcome, the sad reality is that, we may not be mentally, emotionally nor physically ready. Pace yourself. Go with the basic level before the emphatic or escalating levels, the latter intended only for dire situations. 3 - Script Out Your Narrative Using the right words & how we say it matter. The acronym KISS may help: - keep it (sentence) short & simple (words) Also script out different responses & practise with your coach to fine-tune.

It is crucial to understand your conflict style first. Assertiveness is the ability to express ones thoughts and emotions without anxiety and infringing on the rights of others. If you are not assertive, then we have to figure out is you are Avoidant, Passive Aggressive or Aggressive. Then develop strategies and accountable actions to move from where you are to being Assertive. It is one of the main reasons I think an Executive Coach should have a coach.

Navigating challenging conversations with assertiveness is crucial in executive coaching. As a leadership coach, I guide clients in setting clear goals before entering these discussions. Start by defining the outcome you want from the conversation—whether it’s resolving a conflict, providing feedback, or negotiating terms. Establish key points to address and anticipate possible responses to stay focused and assertive. Role-playing scenarios can help build confidence and refine communication skills. By aligning conversation objectives with strategic goals, leaders can effectively handle difficult conversations while maintaining professionalism and fostering mutual respect.

Navigating tough conversations needs more than just talking; it needs good listening too. In executive coaching, active listening is key. It means paying close attention and really understanding what the other person is saying. This helps to build trust and respect. Coaches guide you to become better listeners by using simple techniques like paraphrasing and asking open-ended questions. These skills make conversations more meaningful and effective. By practicing active listening, you can handle challenging talks with confidence and assertiveness, leading to better outcomes for everyone involved.

As you listen, try to put yourself in the speaker’s shoes to truly understand their feelings and viewpoints. Pay attention to non-verbal signals such as body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. These cues can help you understand the speaker’s emotions more accurately. Give the speaker time to finish their thoughts without interruptions. This demonstrates respect and allows them to express their ideas fully. After the speaker has finished, reflect back what you’ve heard to ensure understanding. Make a conscious effort to eliminate or minimise distractions to focus entirely on the speaker. Acknowledge what the speaker is saying with simple gestures like nodding and maintaining eye contact.

It isn't only what is said, it is also how it is said. I am of course not suggesting that you swap the aggressive manner with passive aggressive but I am rather suggesting that you first self manage and second use constructive words that have neither judgment nor blame. Also mind the tone you're using while articulating the words!

Good constructive conversations won't happen overnight. They are bettered time after time while they can regress from time to time depending on the audience. Go with the intention that you will only have a successful conversation and do that in every single conversation until it becomes your second nature.

2 things to add on the above, build a language of competence to articulte the benifits to influence and convince. Support your conversation with data, process and impact.

In the absence of urgency, try and avoid conversations when your best version seems to be out of reach. When you have had a bad night, a long loaded day or an unwell status, your ability to self manage is compromised and most importantly your tolerance levels would be low. If you're an intro for instance and have had more meetings than you can usually tolerate, even articulating words will feel like a mission impossible, the choice of words will be mediocre and also the tone of voice and body language.

I’m pretty hard to offend, so that’s helpful. I’ve also worked with many people and thus, personalities. When lots of people are yelling at me about any number of things, I tell myself “these people are caring about me and the task at hand, loudly. They just don’t know it yet. They’ll figure it out soon enough.”

Assertive communication is key to handling difficult conversations. Executive coaching can teach you techniques to express your views clearly and respectfully. Practice active listening and maintain a calm demeanor. Use coaching to build confidence in addressing conflicts and providing constructive feedback. By mastering assertiveness, you can resolve issues effectively and maintain positive relationships, even in challenging situations.

I would add to the above, having an effective business communication is essential for clearly conveying company's vision to employees. Additionally, self-awareness enhances understanding of oneself and others, which is crucial for character assessment and team building.