Here's how you can harness emotional intelligence for career success.

Find your worse boss ever and send them a "Thank YOU" note. Huh? I'm serious. My hunch is that your worst boss was the most emotionally unintelligent person you ever met. I've been there. I once worked for a horrible narcissist. He's probably the most awful person I've ever met. Yet, I'm extremely grateful to him. Why? He exemplified every single thing I NEVER wanted to be. Emotional Intelligence is just a concept. However, it's worth focus. My emotions are different than yours. And, if you truly understand that, then you have Emotional Intelligence. As a leader, understanding the emotions of your people are different than yours is paramount.

One thing I found helpful is to understand your audience or situation before attempting to navigate social and semi-social relationships and networks. It’s difficult to be self critical but it’s that type of self awareness that can prevent coming across as entitled or arrogant. Always err on the side of empathy.

While we make strategic business plans and map out details of project objectives, we miss the important role personalities and interactions between stakeholders can impact initiative development. Take the time to consider socially engineering situations to avoid conflict and triggers. If there is one person or group that you find yourself constantly disagreeing with, avoid being stuck in that situation over and over again. You change your own luck when you change people, places and circumstances.

An example I see leaders utilize is to create talking points, mock interviews and conversations to prepare for crises or difficult questions. Similar to your “elevator” pitch having the tools to respond prevents negative emotional reactions. It’s natural to think you can answer questions about your industry or profession without preparing, unfortunately that’s the best way to come across as unprofessional and unprepared. If you map it all out, people will think you had that information on top of mind, and elevates your reputation.

People remember how you made them feel not what data or information you presented. Even if you are presenting that exact same information when done from a place of empathy you will be considered a thoughtful considerate leader as oppose to a pompous know it all! Even the staunchest opponent can’t argue with sincerity.

Conflict resolution is a skill I'd definitely lean into heavily. Many people find it challenging, and often avoid navigating disagreements altogether. However, the ability to effectively manage conflict is a true differentiator. Mastering this skill, you become an invaluable asset in any setting. Imagine being able to facilitate constructive conversations, bridge communication gaps, and find win-win solutions. It allows you to not only navigate difficult situations but also foster stronger relationships and build a more collaborative environment. People will naturally gravitate towards those with strong conflict resolution skills, recognizing them as problem-solvers who can help achieve positive outcomes.

The best way to grow is to constantly be looking inward. Consider taking a personality assessment, like the free and comprehensive 16 Personalities test. These tools offer valuable insights into your strengths, weaknesses, and working style. Understanding your own personality is a powerful first step towards boosting your EI. By recognizing your natural tendencies, you can leverage them effectively and develop areas that require growth. This self-awareness empowers you to build stronger relationships, manage stress more effectively, and navigate challenges with greater emotional intelligence.