Here's how you can effectively manage difficult or challenging patients using emotional intelligence.

Understand emotional intelligence—In order to master this skill, you first must understand the basic principles of its indications and usefulness. In order to exercise EI, one must first become self-aware and proficient in the ability to manage his/her level of reactivity by keeping emotions in check.

How many times have you seen someone lose control of their emotions and others reacted negatively? Learning to control the outward display of your inward feelings will help in all relationships. The feelings that you initially have in any situation are out of your control. But what you do with them is. Let's say you see your patient calls you a name. Your initial mental response may be shock, anger, humor (depending on your experience, lol). EI is recognizing the emotion you are feeling then reacting maturely--both mentally and physically. Is expressing your anger going to help you? Being spiteful will harm you more than saying calmly stating that "I will treat you with respect, please don't call me that."

Practice empathy—If you haven't walked a mile in the other person's shoes, chances are your understanding of their personal plights and daily struggles is incomplete at best. Make sure you get to know the whole person before you pass judgment on the portion of their circumstances that is visible to you in plain sight.

Enhance communication—Ask people how they are doing—not just to go through the motions but because you are actually interested in their response and what they have to say. If people know you care about more than what you have going on, they will be much more likely to want to form a relationship with you that extends far beyond basic pleasantries.

Emotional intelligence (EI) is a core nurse leadership skill that requires continuous development and refinement. One component of EI is having emotional self-control; the nurse with high EI is transparent and trustworthy (Fitzpatrick, 2022). These skills are transferable and can be utilized during patient and family interactions. The nurse with high EI will listen to even the agitated patient's words calmly, grounding themself so as to not respond in kind. Validating the patient's upset is a simple and useful tool, "I understand you're upset". Fitzpatrick, J. J. (2022). Nurse Leadership and Management. Springer Publishing LLC.

The nurse should periodically check in with themself to identify potential areas where transference or countertransference has taken place. Countertransference may occur when a patient reminds the nurse or APRN of someone from childhood, whether positive or negative. Likewise, transference can occur when the APRN or nurse reminds the patient of someone they knew (Wheeler, 2020). This may create the urge to respond in a way that is not therapeutic, thus the nurse or APRN must set clear boundaries and periodically check in on those boundaries. Wheeler, K. (2020). Psychotherapy for the Advanced Practice Psychiatric Nurse (3rd ed.). Springer Publishing LLC.

Set boundaries—Clear boundaries are the only way to set yourself up for a successful long-term relationship with another person—whether it be a platonic or romantic one. You have to communicate and know each other's limits, otherwise you are inviting complications to arise from the start.

Stay calm—If it's not going to affect you in 5 years, don't spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it today. Don't lose your cool over issues that don't deserve to rob you of your peace of mind. As the old saying goes, "don't cry over spilled milk."

The immediate sensation when on the receiving end of such behavior, is that YOU are to blame. No matter how conscious you are of their condition, this feeling will sit at the root of the experience. It's involuntary, fight or flight cannot discern between real and false threats - one false analysis and you're dinner for a saber tooth tiger... you CANNOT ever make that mistake, your inner ape knows this means death. Your ability to tolerate anxiety, sustain composure, and create the psychological space to observe rather than immediately react is paramount. With time, training, and experience - you can learn to remove yourself from the equation, and focus on validating and supporting the patients in your care. They're relying on you!

Self-regulation in managing difficult or challenging patients involves controlling one's reactions and maintaining emotional balance to prevent escalation. This includes responding to negative behaviors with patience and restraint, avoiding impulsive reactions, and using stress-relief techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness to manage stress effectively. Practicing self-regulation helps healthcare professionals maintain control over their emotional responses, ensuring they can provide calm, composed, and professional care even in stressful situations.