Here's how you can develop assertiveness as a program manager without coming across as aggressive.

First step I take is always to confidently and construcively remember to advise them that you were brought in because of your expertise, therefore it's worthwhile to them to listen, but does this in an experienced way demonstrating that they can get new insights and faster learnings - so what have they got to lose. Then from here ensure that you advise you want a collaborative approach, even if opposite views - establishing the channel for them to heard and value makes them receptive even if they don't agree

What clicked for me was realizing that assertiveness isn't about being the loudest voice in the room. It's about confidently advocating for what's best for the project and your team, while genuinely respecting and considering the perspectives of others. This mindset shift allowed me to approach conversations with a collaborative spirit, seeking win-win solutions rather than simply pushing my own agenda. It's amazing how much more receptive people are when they feel heard and valued, even if you don't always agree.

Program managers need to be assertive to navigate project challenges, but not aggressive. Here's how to strike the balance: Communicate clearly, focus on "we" goals, acknowledge concerns, use data to back your points, and project confidence. By combining assertiveness with respect, you become a program leader who inspires and gets things done!

Developing assertiveness as a program manager involves finding a balance between confidently expressing your needs and respecting the perspectives of others. By understanding assertive communication, practicing active listening, using "I" statements, being clear and direct, and respecting others' viewpoints, you can assert yourself effectively without being perceived as aggressive. This approach fosters open communication, builds trust, and promotes collaboration within your team and with stakeholders. Striving for assertiveness while maintaining respect and empathy will enhance your effectiveness as a leader and contribute to the success of your projects.

It is helpful to equivocate the idea of assertiveness simply with advocacy. There always comes a time where we need to advocate for ourselves, our goals, etc. That’s all being assertive is. Assertiveness has nothing to do with aggression. It has everything to do with not collapsing our principles and boundaries due to concern of potential conflict.

Body language matters too. Maintain good posture, avoid crossed arms, and use open gestures to project confidence without appearing aggressive.

The key difference is I have observed between me being assertive & being aggressive is that when I am assertive I am generally backing up my point with supporting data, I am communicating clearly about what needs to be done & why, I am open to answer questions to deflect any "no"s & I am pretty much composed as against when I am being aggressive, I am usually struggling with data to support my point, I want to communicate less but use strong words, I don't welcome questions & want to everyone to follow what I said, I am in no mood to hear "no"s & I am probably talking in high pitch, loud & clear with an increased heart rate. So in order to be assertive, following things from above will help be assertive & avoid others to be non aggressive.

When you have the opportunity to be assertive in service of what you need, consider the following question: Does avoiding assertiveness or the potential for conflict serve your values and desired traits? Or is it taking you away from those things?

Negotiate assertively by proposing win-win solutions that benefit everyone involved. Listen actively to understand others' perspectives. Acknowledge their concerns before proposing solutions.