Here's how you can cultivate a more assertive leadership style through executive coaching.

It's important to understand that effective executive coaching involves setting clear boundaries between the coach and the client. Assertiveness in this context means respecting these boundaries and understanding that the coaching relationship is designed for specific goals and timeframes. Coaches are not available for constant, ad-hoc consultations beyond these agreed-upon sessions, and recognizing this distinction helps maintain professional ethics and respect for both parties' time and roles. Adhering to these boundaries ensures that assertive behavior is practiced within the appropriate context, aligning with professional ethical standards.

Content of communication has four variables: quality, quantity, relevance and manner-- read Kathleen Kelly Reardon's books. In a social exchange process between a sender and receiver all these four variables play a major role to generate outcomes like commitment, compliance or resistance.

Assertiveness is indeed about clear and respectful communication, but it’s crucial to recognize that it is perceived differently depending on gender. Society often expects women to be more accommodating, so when women are assertive, they may be unfairly labeled as aggressive or bossy. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to be rewarded for the same assertive behavior, as it's often seen as confident and decisive. Understanding these gender dynamics is vital in executive coaching, as it allows for tailored strategies that help individuals express their needs effectively while navigating societal biases.

I have found that starting with Daniel Goleman's 7 Styles of Leadership in his now famous book "Primal Leadership" is an excellent place to start. The reason: How you apply assertiveness in each style is usually different in a classic view of assertiveness. For example, assertiveness when it becomes necessary to use Pacesetting or Commanding will be very different than when we are using an effective Affiliative leadership style. Frankly, know how and when to use each style when needed is more important than how well you express assertiveness. Many times, assertiveness looks and feels more like confidence.

Goals give us direction, purpose, and a sense of accomplishment when we achieve them. They help us focus our efforts and resources, and keep us motivated to keep pushing forward. Without clear goals, we can easily get lost in the day-to-day tasks and lose sight of our long-term vision. Setting clear goals also helps us prioritize our time and energy. When we have a clear idea of what we want to achieve, we can focus our attention on the tasks and activities that will bring us closer to our goals. This helps us minimize distractions and avoid wasting time on things that don't matter.

Coaching can be helpful when we have an intention, a desire. The coach has the skills to guide the client's focus from 'their SITUATION' to 'an EXPRESSION OF DESIRE' which is achievable and the client can take actions towards it. Well, easier said than done, but this is the core element of a successful coaching conversation.

Las metas, por sí solas, son objetivos específicos que deseamos alcanzar. Sin embargo, cuando están vinculadas a un propósito más grande, adquieren un significado más profundo y motivador. Crean un sentido de realización que va más allá de la simple consecución de objetivos aislados. Esta conexión no solo impulsa el compromiso y la dedicación, sino que también impacta en la toma de decisiones, ya que cada meta contribuye a algo más significativo e inspirador. Este propósito nos proporciona además dirección y contexto, ayudando a alinear las metas individuales con los valores y objetivos generales de la organización o la vida personal.

I caution people not to think of the transformation related to coaching in a Jekyll and Hyde fashion. The most effective and lasting changes in behavior are the result of thoughtful planning, skill building and the setting of sub- goals after you set a main goal. I ask people to imagine a staircase- the first step has a low rise and is narrow; it represents the first small, achievable step toward the goal. Each step thereafter increases in breath and rise until you get to the top - at which point you have achieved your goal.

Goal setting is a crucial skill for personal and professional development. Setting SMART goals defines expectations, time-bound execution, and improvisation during the course of execution clearly. Goals should be documented/ understood clearly, broken down into small steps and actionable sub goals and a proper measurement, review and feedback mechanism should in place to make it a success

I've seen 360 feedback being a valuable tool to understand feedback from superiors, peers and subordinates how they see the individual, and what might stand in the way of them the most effective leaders they can be, across relevant criteria. This feedback may be about assertiveness. What is then the blocker for this person from being assertive ? This is where partnering with the coaches is key. It could be values being in conflict and needing to be explored, it could be confidence, communication, or something else. Once clear, coach and coachees can work on addressing the issue over time.

I believe that personalised feedback assimilated through analysing the results of the psychometric tools and/or 360 degree inputs is invaluable for the coachee. The coach helps the coachee in interpreting and understanding these inputs. However, equally if not more valuable is the ability of the coach of asking questions which help the coachee to understand his/her blind spots. These are unraveled by the coachee's realisation of the story behind the story. This in turn helps the coachee in discovering his/her unhelpful ways of thinking. This process of enhancing self-awareness and engaging in self-reflection helps the coachee in not only becoming more assertive but more importantly sustaining these changes in mindset and behaviour.

One of the most valuable aspects of executive coaching is receiving personalized feedback. Your coach will observe your behavior in various scenarios and provide constructive criticism to enhance your effectiveness and assertiveness. This often involves role-playing exercises where you can practice handling difficult conversations or making tough decisions. Feedback is tailored to your unique challenges and strengths, ensuring insights directly applicable to your role as a leader. This approach helps you develop skills and confidence, providing a clear roadmap for growth and improved leadership.

Additionally, consider the power of self-assessment tools and peer feedback: Self-Assessment Tools: Utilizing tools like 360-degree feedback and personality assessments can provide a comprehensive view of your strengths and areas for improvement. Peer Feedback: Engaging colleagues in providing honest feedback can offer diverse perspectives and help you identify blind spots. Actionable Steps: Breaking down feedback into actionable steps ensures that you can implement changes effectively and track your progress. Combining these approaches with personalized coaching feedback can create a well-rounded strategy for enhancing your assertiveness and leadership skills.

A good place to start is developing the ability to listen to feedback in a receptive and non-defensive mode. This sets you up for success: quicker assimilation, better adjustments, faster implementation. Make asking and receiving 360 degree feedback a norm. Learn listening to the person, where they’re ’coming from’, beyond their words and body language. Choose what strikes you as authentic and necessary. Learn to listen to that inner ‘ding’. I call this ‘perceptive listening’.

El coaching provee un espacio de practica seguro en el que es posible explorar diferentes respuestas e ir ajustándolas a través de role playings, diferentes escenarios simulados o bien tomar distintos assessments que nos ayuden a tomar conciencia de nuestros estilos comunicacionales. Nos permite reconocer por ejemplo como juegan nuestros impulsores internos ("sé perfecto", "complace", "date prisa", "esfuérzate", "sé fuerte") las emociones que nos despiertan, qué descarriladores nos gatillan, sobre qué creencias se asientan y a partir de esta toma de conciencia cultivar comportamientos y respuestas mas asertivas.

A skill-building exercise is again a tool for personal and professional development. It can be done by gaining knowledge of a particular skill and repeatedly practicing it. Pear to pear learning and guided learning with constructive feedback from your coach can be another way of developing it.

Widerspruch: Coaching vermittelt keine ?F?higkeit“, sondern ?Fertigkeit“! Das Erste ist eine Eigenschaft, l?sst aber die Umsetzung au?en vor, das Zweite inkludiert diese. Linguistisch erheblicher Unterschied! LG vom EIM -European Institute of Management, Malta

Executive coaching offers an ideal opportunity for the leader to try out positively assertive behaviours by defining what they are in coaching, trying them out as a form of lived experiment (back at the workplace) and then reporting back in the next coaching session. Seeking feedback from direct reports on how the new approach is landing is also an effective means of evaluating the change in style. However, this will only be successful if the exec is open to honest feedback. This must not be an exercise in choosing 'yes' people who are likely to go along with anything the leader says.

As an executive coach working on leadership development, one of the top areas of growth for my clients is clear and effective communication. And the impact is broad, whether it's doing better at presentations, or the ability to motivate teams, influence the C-Suite and outside stakeholders to drive greater company success.

Many professionals prioritize avoiding conflict over being assertive and giving feedback. Avoiding conflict can be seen as a lack of empathy. We all need opportunities to improve. Facing a mirror makes us more aware of our actions and, in the long run, enhances relationships.

A very important part of communication for leaders is knowing “what do I really want” - and that should always be part of the message to others. Often leaders assume what others want to hear and change their communication based on the assumption. But expecting others to communicate clearly if don’t do it creates a viscious circle.

In my opinion, effective communication is the flagship discipline of an executive. Being able to communicate empathetically and succinctly and precisely is crucial for an executive to be able to set a vision and direction, generate motivation and commitment and at the same time build trust. Executive coaching in particular is able to take a meta-perspective and sharpen the view of what is really important as core messages from the flood of daily information.

The people and leaders that we admire most are the ones that are honest and truthful. As a leader, this means having difficult conversations. But, when we are unclear in our conversations, we are unkind to those that we serve. When striving to communicate more clearly, ask yourself these questions: -Am I using the right words? -Is this the correct way to communicate this? -Is this the right time to have this conversation?

Being authentic and self-knowing are at the heart of assertive leadership. When you know yourself and live your values then you will have impact. Know yourself to gain confidence from your strengths, and develop what needs enhancing. Define your values and live them so others believe in you as you walk the talk. Don’t put yourself in the spotlight, rather shed light on others by acknowledging them and always strive to guide them and be there for them. Seek coaching to open your mind and heart to embrace change and growth for you and your team.

überzeugende Führung beginnt mit der Selbstreflexion: kl?re ab und mache Dir bewusst, wofür Du stehst, stehe dann zu Dir und Deiner überzeugung. überzeuge dadurch andere… s.a. Stephen Covey: ?Schnelligkeit durch Vertrauen“, alternativ: Karsten Bredemeier: ?Die Kunst der klaren Kommunikation“, Haufe 2023 S.a. EIM - European Institute of Management … for Higher Education

Assertiveness is deeply influenced by our neurobiology. Incorporating neuroplasticity exercises, such as mindfulness practices or mental screens and self-hypnosis, can strengthen the neural pathways associated with assertiveness. By training the brain to respond in a more balanced and controlled way, leaders develop an enhanced ability to communicate clearly and confidently. This neuroscientific understanding allows coaching to move beyond superficial techniques and focus on rewiring the brain for consistent assertive behaviors. Applying these insights can result in more effective and resilient leadership, able to face challenges with greater confidence and adaptability.

Tenha seus valores firmes e fa?a com eles n?o sejam negociáveis. Muitas vezes pode parecer mais fácil usar a flexibilidade e exce??es, mas, o líder que quer construir uma cultura forte, precisa ter o pensamento de longo prazo. Grandes feitos n?o s?o construídos apenas com entusiasmo e coragem, mas sim, com disciplina e rotina consistentes.

Conviction and values are good. But sometimes they hinder as well. Mr. Acosta, CNN, has surely values and convictions, But how does he manage not to yell back to Trump who is insulting him many many times. He surely would have the right out of his values to say: “enough”. I tried to find out, why he manages to be calm in all these situations. And, he has found an “overriding principle” that overpowers all others. Of that being a journalist, and not saying anything is showcasing the person in front of him better than counter what happened. So find your overriding principles as being a leader. The most valuable value you can find.