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Last updated on 2024年6月18日

Here's how you can address defensiveness or resistance when giving feedback to a team member.

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Giving feedback is a delicate process, especially when it's not all positive. You might notice defensiveness or resistance from your team member, making the conversation even more challenging. However, with the right approach, you can turn this into a constructive exchange that fosters growth and improves performance. By understanding the nuances of interpersonal communication, you can navigate these tricky waters and help your team member receive feedback in a way that is beneficial for everyone involved.

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Richard Gonzalez

1 Prepare Well

Before addressing any signs of resistance, it's crucial to prepare thoroughly for the feedback session. This means reviewing the facts, setting clear objectives for the conversation, and anticipating possible reactions. You should focus on specific behaviors or outcomes rather than personal traits, and be ready with examples to support your points. Preparation also involves considering the timing and setting of the feedback to ensure privacy and minimize distractions. By being well-prepared, you demonstrate respect for your team member and set the stage for a productive dialogue.

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Richard Gonzalez
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Whenever you have to approach a conversation that is difficult with someone who feels that maybe they have been wronged or have been accused of doing something that they did (or didn’t) do is to make sure that it is not a personal attack on their character. The focus should solely be on, the error that has been made and have proof that substantiates the issue. I like the “good-bad-good sandwich” approach. Start the conversation with something positive that the person did and then bridge in with the issue at hand and then end the conversation on a positive note like how to move forward. This way you limit the amount of defensiveness from the person you are dealing with.

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2 Stay Calm

When faced with defensiveness, it's important for you to remain calm and composed. Maintaining an even tone and body language can help de-escalate emotions and keep the conversation on track. Remember that defensiveness is often a natural reaction to perceived criticism, so try not to take it personally. Instead, listen actively to your team member's concerns and validate their feelings where appropriate. By staying calm, you create a safe space for open communication and show that you're committed to a constructive outcome.

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Eunice Ayomide Akintemi

Registered Nurse || Writer || Author || Blogger ||NGO PIGIN ||Global Shaper Birmingham
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Being able to stay calm requires using a soft tone, raising the voice escalates and allows for defensiveness. The tone of voice is part of communication

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Richard Gonzalez
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Staying calm can be difficult to do depending on how egregious said issue may be. The thing to recognize is that the likelihood of the issue being personal is minimal. But, If it is something that is personal in nature, it would probably be wise to have a third person in the room as a mediator. Having that extra person in the room who is neutral to the situation, can help with diffusing the tension and without having any skin in the game, may be able to provide insight as to how to move forward.

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3 Be Empathetic

Empathy is a powerful tool in overcoming resistance. Try to understand the situation from your team member's perspective and acknowledge their feelings. This doesn't mean you have to agree with them, but showing empathy can reduce defensiveness and open the door to a more receptive dialogue. Use phrases like "I can see how that might be frustrating" to demonstrate understanding. Empathy helps build trust and can make it easier for your team member to accept feedback and consider change.

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Richard Gonzalez
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Empathy can go along way with reducing defensiveness. Especially if you have been in a similar, if not the same situation. Things happen and we’re all human. Coming from that perspective may help with dealing with someone who is highly defensive.

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4 Offer Support

Once you've addressed the initial resistance, offer support to help your team member improve. This could involve setting up a plan of action , providing resources, or offering additional training. Make it clear that you're not just critiquing but also invested in their growth and success. Reinforce the idea that feedback is a normal part of professional development and that you're there to assist them in the process. By offering tangible support, you show that you're a partner in their journey, not just a critic.

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5 Encourage Dialogue

Encouraging a two-way dialogue is essential when dealing with defensiveness. Invite your team member to share their thoughts and feelings about the feedback. This can provide valuable insights into their perspective and help identify any misunderstandings or areas where further clarification is needed. A dialogue also allows them to feel heard and respected, which can reduce resistance. By fostering an open exchange , you facilitate a more collaborative approach to problem-solving and development.

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6 Follow Up

Finally, following up after the feedback session is key to ensuring that your team member feels supported and that the feedback leads to positive action. Schedule a time to revisit the discussion, assess progress, and adjust the plan if necessary. Regular check-ins demonstrate your commitment to their improvement and keep the lines of communication open. By following up, you reinforce the importance of the feedback and help maintain momentum towards achieving the desired outcomes.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Here's how you can address defensiveness or resistance when giving feedback to a team member.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Prepare Well

2 Stay Calm

3 Be Empathetic

4 Offer Support

5 Encourage Dialogue

6 Follow Up

7 Here’s what else to consider

Interpersonal Communication

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Here's how you can address defensiveness or resistance when giving feedback to a team member.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Prepare Well

2 Stay Calm

3 Be Empathetic

4 Offer Support

5 Encourage Dialogue

6 Follow Up

7 Here’s what else to consider

Interpersonal Communication

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感谢您的反馈

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