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Dealing with criticism from an emotionally unintelligent team member. How can you handle it effectively?

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Criticism can be a valuable tool for personal and professional development, but when it comes from someone lacking emotional intelligence (EI), it can feel less like constructive feedback and more like an unwarranted attack. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of others. When dealing with criticism from someone who may not have these skills, it's essential to utilize your own EI to manage the situation effectively. By doing so, you can maintain a positive work environment and foster better team dynamics, even when faced with challenging interactions.

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1 Stay Calm

When faced with criticism from an emotionally unintelligent team member, your first step should be to remain calm. Responding defensively can escalate the situation and prevent any constructive dialogue. Take a deep breath and give yourself a moment to process the feedback. Remember, your response sets the tone for the interaction. By staying composed, you demonstrate your own emotional intelligence and can better assess whether the criticism has any merit that you can learn from.

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Jasna Pejovic

Founder & CEO @ Flourish | Top 15 EdTech in the U.S. | Scientifically Proven Solution | 6,000+ Users Globally | Scaling Emotional Intelligence | Digital Transformation Expert | Keynote Speaker
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Whenever you are unable to remain calm, you actually lose. Look at these phrases: I lost my temper. I flew off the handle. I lost it. I blew my top. I freaked out. I lost my cool. I couldn’t keep my composure. They are all about losing. Remember that next time and learn techniques to remain calm and work on self-management emotional intelligence competencies. Here are three quick techniques to help remain calm in stressful situations: ??Deep Breathing: Take slow, deep breaths to calm your nervous system. ?? Drink Water: Sipping water can help distract and calm you. ?? Step Away: If possible, remove yourself from the stressful situation for a few minutes.

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Gertrudis Achecar

Global Digital Business / Risk Exec | Digital Payments | Enabling Diverse Talent to Achieve Bold Goals with High Standards | Leadership Coach
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As a Digital & Payments Business/Risk Executive, I do my best to remain calm. Breathing helps. If this is what this person verbalizes to others, imagine what their internal dialogue must be like. This allows me to invoke compassion for that person. I also take note on the behaviors I want to be mindful not to repeat. Sometimes it helps to be exposed to "bad examples" so we know what not to do.

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2 Listen Fully

Listening is a critical component of emotional intelligence. When you're on the receiving end of criticism, make an effort to listen actively, without interrupting or planning your response while the other person is still talking. This shows respect and allows you to fully understand their perspective, even if you disagree with it. By listening, you might find valuable insights hidden within poorly delivered feedback, and it can also help deescalate any emotional tension.

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Brad Pace, MSRA

VP of Regulatory & Compliance | Removing roadblocks and leading solutions to increase speed-to-market | CPG Compliance & Risk Mitigation | Quality Systems | FDA | FTC | cGMP | PCQI | SQF | Functional Food | Supplements
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This situation is an inevitable possibility and should be expected at some point or many points along the career journey. It is important to stay calm and listen to what is being said. This gives some respect and honor not only to the other person but to yourself as well. Escalation really does not bare good fruit, but attempting to parse out any small nuggets of insight is fruitful.

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3 Reflect Honestly

After receiving criticism, take some time to reflect on it honestly. Separate the emotional charge from the content of the feedback. Consider whether there is any truth to the points raised and how they might help you improve. Self-reflection is a key aspect of emotional intelligence, as it allows you to grow from your experiences and manage your reactions. An honest assessment can transform criticism into a learning opportunity, regardless of the source's emotional intelligence.

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4 Communicate Clearly

Clear communication is vital when addressing criticism from someone with low emotional intelligence. Articulate your thoughts in a way that is respectful and assertive without being confrontational. Use "I" statements to express how the feedback makes you feel and clarify any misunderstandings. By communicating effectively, you can often bridge the gap between differing perspectives and reach a mutual understanding or resolution.

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Oluwadamilola Oladimeji

Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach | Creative Writer | Spoken Word Poet | African Literatus | Podcast Host
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Respond, Don’t React: Use “I” statements to express your perspective without sounding defensive. For example, “I understand your point, and here’s what I think.”

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5 Set Boundaries

It's important to set boundaries if criticism becomes personal or unprofessional. Emotional intelligence involves recognizing when a line has been crossed and addressing it calmly and firmly. Let the team member know which behaviors are unacceptable and explain how they impact the team's morale and productivity. Setting boundaries not only protects your well-being but also serves as a model for healthy communication within the team.

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6 Seek Support

If dealing with an emotionally unintelligent team member becomes overwhelming, don't hesitate to seek support from a supervisor or human resources. Emotional intelligence includes knowing when to ask for help in managing difficult situations. Involving a third party can provide a fresh perspective, mediate the conflict, and offer solutions that you may not have considered.

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Nestor Oclides Castagno

Mgr. Psicología Organizacional
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Puedes apoyarte en la Aceptación Positiva Incondicional, comprender que sus críticas provienen de sus propias inseguridades y dificultades. Pasos útiles Escucha activa: Préstale atención a sus justificaciones, aunque no tengas tu punto de vista. Empatía: Entender su perspectiva, puedes decir: "Entiendo que estás frustrado por..." Valida sus emociones: aún si no estás de acuerdo. "Veo que te sientes muy afectado por..." Reformula y aclara: Parafrasea sus argumentos, para ayudarlo a expresar sus preocupaciones Mantén la calma: No te dejes llevar por sus emociones. Concéntrate en soluciones: indaga en soluciones conjuntas y enfócate en lograr acuerdos. Tu objetivo no es cambiar a esta persona, sino manejar la situación de manera constructiva.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Oluwadamilola Oladimeji

Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach | Creative Writer | Spoken Word Poet | African Literatus | Podcast Host
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After the conversation, reflect on what happened and consider if there’s anything you could learn from the situation to handle similar instances better in the future.

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Matthias Hettl - CEO Coach

Develops Good Leaders into Great Leaders
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Feedback always tells more about the person giving feedback, than the person receiving feedback. Therefore this gives you a deeper understanding of a persons basic perspectives and attitudes. You then have to draw your conclusions from this.

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Dealing with criticism from an emotionally unintelligent team member. How can you handle it effectively?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Stay Calm

2 Listen Fully

3 Reflect Honestly

4 Communicate Clearly

5 Set Boundaries

6 Seek Support

7 Here’s what else to consider

Emotional Intelligence

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Dealing with criticism from an emotionally unintelligent team member. How can you handle it effectively?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Stay Calm

2 Listen Fully

3 Reflect Honestly

4 Communicate Clearly

5 Set Boundaries

6 Seek Support

7 Here’s what else to consider

Emotional Intelligence

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