You’re working with a team member who is resistant to feedback. How can you make them receptive?

1 Understand the reasons

Before you give feedback, try to understand why your team member is resistant to it. Maybe they have low self-confidence, fear of failure, lack of trust, or previous bad experiences with feedback. By empathizing with their perspective, you can tailor your approach and tone to suit their needs and preferences. You can also ask them how they prefer to receive feedback, what kind of feedback they find helpful, and what their goals and expectations are.

2 Choose the right time and place

Timing and setting are important factors for effective feedback. You don't want to catch your team member off guard, interrupt their work, or embarrass them in front of others. Instead, you want to find a suitable time and place where you can have a private and respectful conversation. You can also ask for their permission and availability before you start giving feedback, and make sure they are in a receptive mood and mindset.

3 Use the sandwich method

The sandwich method is a popular technique for giving feedback that involves sandwiching a negative or constructive comment between two positive or appreciative ones. This way, you can balance the feedback and avoid making your team member feel attacked or demoralized. For example, you can start by praising their strengths or achievements, then point out an area of improvement or a mistake, and then end with a suggestion or a compliment. The sandwich method can help you build rapport, boost morale, and motivate your team member to take action.

4 Focus on behavior, not personality

When you give feedback, you want to focus on the specific behavior or action that needs to be changed or improved, not on the person's personality or character. You want to avoid using labels, judgments, or generalizations that can make your team member feel offended or defensive. For example, instead of saying "You are lazy and careless", you can say "You missed the deadline and made some errors in the report". By focusing on behavior, you can make your feedback more objective, clear, and actionable.

5 Ask for their input

Feedback should be a two-way communication, not a one-way lecture. You want to engage your team member in a dialogue, not a monologue. You can do this by asking for their input, opinions, or suggestions on the feedback you give them. You can also ask them to share their challenges, concerns, or difficulties that may have affected their performance or behavior. By asking for their input, you can show that you care about their perspective, acknowledge their contribution, and encourage their participation.

6 Follow up and support

Giving feedback is not a one-time event, but an ongoing process. You want to follow up and support your team member after you give them feedback, and monitor their progress and improvement. You can do this by setting specific and measurable goals, providing resources and guidance, offering recognition and praise, and addressing any issues or obstacles. By following up and supporting, you can show that you are committed to their success, and help them achieve their potential.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?