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You’re struggling to work with a colleague. How can you turn things around?

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Working with a colleague who doesn't share your vision, values, or work style can be frustrating and draining. You might feel like giving up, avoiding them, or confronting them. But none of these options will help you achieve your goals or build a positive relationship. Instead, you can use energy management techniques to turn things around and create a win-win situation. Here's how.

本文章的要点总结

Understand your energy levels:

Use tools like the Energy Audit to track how interactions with your colleague affect you. This helps pinpoint stressors and opportunities for improvement.### *Find common ground:Openly discuss expectations, listen to each other’s viewpoints, and set clear boundaries. This alignment fosters mutual understanding and smoother collaboration.

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1 Assess your energy

The first step is to understand how your colleague affects your energy levels. Do they make you feel stressed, angry, bored, or indifferent? How does that impact your performance, mood, and well-being? Be honest and objective about your own reactions and emotions. You can use a simple tool like the Energy Audit to rate your energy on a scale of 1 to 10 before and after interacting with your colleague. This will help you identify the gaps and opportunities for improvement.

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Eva Steortz

Global Marketing Leader | Chief Motivation Officer | ICF Certified Executive Coach | Leadership Development | Career Advisor | xDisney | Brand Strategy | Business Development | Licensing | Author | Speaker | Dreamer+Doer
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Seek to understand; both within yourself and with your colleague. First check the facts. Are you creating a story or is there a real issue? What is your role in the situation? What can you do to make it better? Once you are clear you can take positive action and seek to understand from the other person's perspective. Without judgment, simply say you want to do a check in so you can collaborate on how to make your working relationship as productive as possible. Go into the conversation ready to ask open ended questions and listen. Role model being a good partner. I sure hope you find your colleague is grateful for your outreach and and they too want to create a stronger relationship.

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George Kwadwo Anane, Ph.D.

Deputy Registrar/Head (General Administration) | PHD in Urban and Regional Planning
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I usually will have a conversation with the other colleague and understand their worldview of things and the work in hand. They may be slow, quick, indifferent to the work at hand. This helps to understand their motivations- what enhances their work and what inhibits it. Once this is done, I am able to assess myself and deal meaningfully with them using the right level of energy and strategy. This helps me to manage stress that is likely to come from working with them, increase adaptation and reduce anxiety. Through this, I have been able to affect the energy levels of others and mine to increase good working relationships in my current organization.

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2 Adjust your mindset

The next step is to change your perspective on your colleague and the situation. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects, try to find some positive ones. What can you learn from them? What do they bring to the table that you don't? How can you leverage their strengths and complement their weaknesses? By shifting your mindset, you can reduce your resistance and resentment and increase your curiosity and appreciation. You can also reframe the challenge as an opportunity to grow, collaborate, and innovate.

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3 Align your expectations

The third step is to communicate clearly and respectfully with your colleague. Often, conflicts arise from mismatched expectations, assumptions, or goals. To avoid this, you need to align your vision, values, and work style with your colleague. You can do this by having an open and honest conversation where you listen to their point of view, share your own, and find common ground. You can also set boundaries, rules, and feedback mechanisms to ensure mutual understanding and accountability.

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Susan Bernstein, MBA PhD

Guiding leadership teams caught in ongoing conflict to operate harmoniously — and those already collaborating well to take their performance to the next level | Ex-Accenture, Intel
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To me, this is the most essential point, and actually belongs up front. If you already have misaligned expectations or perspectives, it’s going to be more difficult for most people to get along when you’re not seeing eye eye. When I’m working with leaders, I constantly ask them to find their shared purpose. Coming from that place is essential for building trust and energy and commitment moving forward.

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4 Activate your energy

The fourth step is to take action to boost your energy and your colleague's energy. You can do this by using positive reinforcement, recognition, and encouragement. You can also use humor, fun, and creativity to lighten the mood and create rapport. You can also leverage your network and resources to support each other and solve problems. By activating your energy, you can create a positive feedback loop that enhances your relationship and your results.

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5 Assess your progress

The fifth step is to monitor and evaluate your progress. You can do this by tracking your energy levels, performance, and satisfaction before and after applying the previous steps. You can also ask for feedback from your colleague, your manager, or other stakeholders. You can also celebrate your achievements and acknowledge your challenges. By assessing your progress, you can identify what works, what doesn't, and what needs to be adjusted.

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6 Adapt your approach

The final step is to adapt your approach based on your assessment. You can do this by repeating, modifying, or adding any of the previous steps as needed. You can also experiment with different strategies, tools, or methods to find what suits you and your colleague best. You can also seek help from a coach, mentor, or mediator if you encounter any difficulties or barriers. By adapting your approach, you can ensure continuous improvement and learning.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Gagan Preet Singh

Minda corporation limited
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To improve collaboration and resolve conflicts with a struggling colleague, consider the following steps: - Communication: Initiate an open and honest conversation to address any misunderstandings or concerns. Listen actively and seek to understand their perspective. - Clarify expectations: Clearly define roles, responsibilities, and project objectives to ensure mutual understanding - Seek common ground:Identify shared goals or interests and focus on areas of agreement to build rapport and trust. - Establish boundaries: Set clear boundaries and expectations for professional behavior to maintain a respectful and productive working relationship. - Offer support:Provide assistance to help address any challenges or obstacles they may be facing.

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You’re struggling to work with a colleague. How can you turn things around?

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1 Assess your energy

2 Adjust your mindset

3 Align your expectations

4 Activate your energy

5 Assess your progress

6 Adapt your approach

7 Here’s what else to consider

Energy Management

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