You’re struggling to connect with your colleagues. How can you break the ice?

Not everyone wants to be best buddies at work. A good approach when finding common ground is to slowly "lower your shield", and see if others reciprocate. Extroverts, for example, will lower their shield quickly. That can be off-putting to more reserved people. Therefore, you want to slowly open up to see where others feel comfortable. That level of openness will vary from person to person, so make note of who overshares and who wants to talk business and not much else.

Breaking the ice with colleagues is easier than you think. Start by initiating casual conversations about shared interests or hobbies. Offer genuine compliments or ask for advice, it shows you value their expertise. Organize team-building activities or lunches to foster camaraderie. And don't forget to smile; it's an instant icebreaker!

Organiza eventos sociales informales, inicia conversaciones sobre intereses comunes, participa en actividades de equipo, y muestra interés genuino en conocer a tus colegas.

Using humor is great, but it can be used too early. See the "lowering the shield" tactic above. Once you feel like a coworker is being open enough to share a joke, then you can test the waters. In addition, watch out for using too much humor in regular interactions. You might be perceived as less capable, and more like an entertainer. Aim for 10% humor as a good starting point and adjust from there.

Personal open-ended questions should be reserved when you're confident it won't put off your colleagues. "How did you get started in this field?" is fine for many, but I'd suggest something that isn't about their background as a starting point. For example, share an article related to your work and ask what they think about it.

I would try to use the word "admire" when providing positive feedback, and then follow up with an ask for "advice" in order to encourage connection. For example: "Hi Sally, I really admire the way you took control of that meeting when it started to go sideways. Do you have any advice on how I could learn how to do that more effectively?"

Eesh. Both of the example questions here feel both unsolicited & patronizing to me. Instead of offering help, ask them how things are going on that project and listen. Make them feel heard. When people feel heard you'll find they are more willing to connect with you.

I’ve been there—feeling isolated from a new team where we have “nothing” in common. Maybe it’s generational differences, political, maybe they’ve just already trauma-bonded and don’t have space for a newcomer. The thing to keep in mind is we all have much more in common than we think. Intentionally getting to know them may take a bit, but you won’t be an outsider forever. - Listen to what they have to say about their experiences, passions, family, etc - Set 1:1 time with each team member regularly to sync on work stuff, but spend the first 5 minutes just getting to know each other - Share parts of yourself to encourage them to be vulnerable in turn

I just left this situation. Cultural differences, systemic racism and other factors play a role in the politics of professionalism. I only found success when I STOPPED trying to fit in. You may not believe it but jobs, the military and prison have something in common; they’re tribal. The status quo is , “fit in with a certain demographic or get stomped out.” Trend setters in any of these arenas are those that did things differently than the herd and had the courage to NOT conform. These individuals believed in who they were. What was important to them was enough and they didn’t need nor desire the approval of the masses. Jobs have protocols, requirements and mandated expectations. Follow those. The rest-lead or leave behind.