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You’re struggling to build a good relationship with your boss. What’s the first step?

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If you feel like your boss doesn't appreciate your work, doesn't communicate well with you, or doesn't support your career goals, you might be facing a common challenge: how to build a good relationship with your boss. A positive rapport with your manager can make your work more enjoyable, productive, and rewarding. But how do you start improving your relationship if it's already strained or distant? Here are some tips to help you take the first step.

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Serhii Kharchuk

Anti-fraud @ Lean Six Sigma Black Belt | TensorFlow PyTorch | Business Analytics | AWS | Laws | Marketing | Brand…

1 Identify the problem

The first step is to identify the root cause of the problem. Is it a personality clash, a misunderstanding, a lack of feedback, or a conflict of interests? Try to be honest and objective about your own role in the situation, as well as your boss's perspective. Think about what you want from your boss, and what your boss expects from you. Write down the specific issues that bother you, and how they affect your work and well-being.

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Serhii Kharchuk

Anti-fraud @ Lean Six Sigma Black Belt | TensorFlow PyTorch | Business Analytics | AWS | Laws | Marketing | Brand Strategy | Software Development | Google Cloud Partner | Administration | Financial Management | Aerospace
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Understand what’s causing the tension. Is it a clash of personalities, a lack of communication, or differing expectations? Reflect on both sides of the issue, considering your boss's perspective as well as your own. Pinpointing the exact problems can guide you toward a solution.

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Brandt Fricker
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Pay attention to their feedback, suggestions, and concerns, and show that you value their input by implementing their suggestions where appropriate. Express gratitude for your boss's support, guidance, and opportunities for growth. A simple thank-you can go a long way in strengthening your relationship. Show interest in their interests, hobbies, and professional background. Finding common ground outside of work can help strengthen your relationship.

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2 Seek feedback

The next step is to seek feedback from your boss. Feedback is essential for learning, improving, and building trust. However, many employees avoid asking for feedback, fearing criticism or rejection. Instead, you should see feedback as an opportunity to understand your boss's needs, preferences, and goals. Ask for feedback regularly, not only when there is a problem. Be open-minded, respectful, and appreciative. Listen carefully, and ask questions to clarify any points. Thank your boss for their input, and follow up on their suggestions.

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Serhii Kharchuk

Anti-fraud @ Lean Six Sigma Black Belt | TensorFlow PyTorch | Business Analytics | AWS | Laws | Marketing | Brand Strategy | Software Development | Google Cloud Partner | Administration | Financial Management | Aerospace
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Don’t shy away from feedback; embrace it. Regular feedback sessions can clarify expectations and provide opportunities for improvement. Approach feedback with an open mind and a willingness to grow.

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3 Communicate effectively

Another key step is to communicate effectively with your boss. Communication is the foundation of any relationship, and it can make or break your rapport with your manager. To communicate effectively, you need to be clear, concise, and courteous. Use the appropriate channel, tone, and style for your message. Avoid jargon, slang, or vague terms. Be positive, polite, and professional. Provide updates, reports, and feedback on your work. Acknowledge your boss's messages, and respond promptly. Avoid gossip, complaints, or personal issues.

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Serhii Kharchuk

Anti-fraud @ Lean Six Sigma Black Belt | TensorFlow PyTorch | Business Analytics | AWS | Laws | Marketing | Brand Strategy | Software Development | Google Cloud Partner | Administration | Financial Management | Aerospace
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Clear, courteous, and concise communication is foundational. Tailor your communication style to match your boss’s preferences, ensuring you’re both on the same page without any misunderstandings.

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4 Show initiative

One more step to build a good relationship with your boss is to show initiative. Initiative means taking action, solving problems, and going beyond your assigned tasks. By showing initiative, you demonstrate your value, competence, and commitment. You also make your boss's job easier, and earn their respect and trust. To show initiative, you need to be proactive, creative, and resourceful. Look for opportunities to improve your work, learn new skills, or help your team. Anticipate your boss's needs, and offer solutions. Take responsibility for your mistakes, and learn from them.

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Serhii Kharchuk

Anti-fraud @ Lean Six Sigma Black Belt | TensorFlow PyTorch | Business Analytics | AWS | Laws | Marketing | Brand Strategy | Software Development | Google Cloud Partner | Administration | Financial Management | Aerospace
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Go beyond your job description. Taking the initiative on projects, offering solutions, and demonstrating a willingness to learn can all signal your commitment and capability to your boss.

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5 Appreciate your boss

The final step is to appreciate your boss. Appreciation means recognizing and expressing gratitude for your boss's efforts, contributions, and achievements. By appreciating your boss, you strengthen your bond, boost their morale, and create a positive atmosphere. You also show your maturity, humility, and generosity. To appreciate your boss, you need to be sincere, specific, and timely. Say thank you for their guidance, support, or feedback. Compliment them on their skills, qualities, or results. Celebrate their milestones, successes, or awards.

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