You’re a new manager. How can you develop emotional intelligence to lead your team?

I use a three-step process that helps me consistently improve my emotional intelligence situation by situation. Whenever I encounter setbacks, disappointments and conflicts, I do the following: 1 Make sense of my emotions and emotional patterns, review the purpose of each emotion and discover where I might be emotionally stuck. 2 Discover my values. My emotions are triggered by my personal values that are violated by a situation. I go very deep into this part and keep questioning each value to uncover values that are hidden within values. I learn so much about myself here. 3 Make a value-based action plan and choose an assertive communication style that improves relationships with others.

Since you have no direct manager experience, it is important you use that to your advantage. Be honest about that with your team, but spin it in a positive way. For example, you will not have years of "corporate-ness" that is weighing you down; you are fresh and ready to lead truly with your team in mind!

Besides self-assessment, a 360-degree assessment from individuals around you who work closely with you can provide valuable insights. Many times, when managers undergo these assessments, they are surprised to discover discrepancies between their self-perception and how others perceive them. This creates a gap between internal self-awareness and external awareness. Recognizing this gap is essential for developing a plan for improvement.

Not a manager but something I've witnessed with really good managers are the following: 1?? Listen actively: Hear your team out and empathize with their perspectives. 2?? Be self-aware: Reflect on your own emotions and reactions. 3?? Show empathy: Validate your team's feelings and navigate conflicts constructively. Lead by example and commit to continuous learning. Let's build a culture of understanding and collaboration!

3 easy ways to put this into action right away: - Set aside some time this week to journal about your emotions and reactions to various situations - Reflect on your strengths and areas for growth, and consider seeking for at least one piece of feedback per week to gain deeper insights - Engage in active listening during conversations by focusing on truly understanding the emotions and perspectives of others without interrupting or immediately offering solutions

Listening is a core skill to enhance your emotional intelligence, and it is also challenging to practice. A few suggestions are: You need to approach listening with full focus, similar to how you practice meditation. When you listen, do so with all your care and curiosity, and strive to avoid biases and internal voices. Pay attention to the speaker's emotions to ask more targeted questions. When done correctly, listening becomes a powerful tool for building connections with your team and influencing them.

From my experience, what works well is to increase the face to face meetings in the beginning. Establish rapport and connection with your team by having a structured approach in place. Than as you ease into the role, and they ease in to you as a new manager, you can leave the face to face meeting as optional. Not everyone will need it as much or as frequently, but it does help build the trust between the team and you.

Following self-awareness, actively listening to your team is key in EI development. Embrace 6 Seconds' philosophy by focusing attentively, asking open-ended questions, and showing empathy to understand their perspectives and emotions. This approach fosters respect, builds rapport, and unveils insights into their challenges and aspirations. Active listening, as advocated by 6 Seconds, not only strengthens team connections but also enhances your ability to lead with emotional intelligence, aligning actions with the core emotional needs and motivations of your team members.

Regulating = using emotions wisely Emotion regulation refers to various processes where we deliberately increase, decrease, or maintain our own emotional experiences and expressions. It means choosing the best ways to handle our feelings in different situations without draining our energy. ??

To enhance your emotional expression, it's crucial to understand your current habits of conveying emotions. Reflect on the thoughts that trigger your emotions, and then take the next step to adjust those thoughts and remove any personal bias. Changing your thought habits requires practice to better manage your emotions.

Emotional self-awareness is a critical EQ leadership skill. Once you understand what you feel, and why you feel it, you can easily diffuse your emotions. I found that if you are highly logical or sequential in your thinking, a great way to manage your emotions is to use the ABCDE-technique from Dr. Ellis. A= Activating Event: What is that triggered your emotions? B: Beliefs: What beliefs did you think as a result of A? C: Consequences: What happened or what actions did you take after B? D: Debate, Dispute, Discard: How can you engage, with yourself or with the help of a trusted person, in a dialogue to overcome any assumption and bias? E: Effect: What is the impact as a result of applying A, B, C and D?

Building on self-awareness and active listening, managing emotions is crucial for EI. Apply 6 Seconds' principles to regulate your emotions and guide your team in handling theirs. Techniques like breathing exercises, meditation, and humor can mitigate stress and foster positivity. Emphasize the 6 Seconds approach of recognizing and influencing emotions constructively, ensuring they enhance rather than hinder decision-making. This step is vital for maintaining a supportive, resilient team environment, where emotional management is key to overcoming challenges and nurturing positive dynamics.

As a new manager, you may sometimes feel hesitant to express your emotions or provide feedback, especially if it's negative, due to concerns about others' reactions. However, if you possess the skills to communicate honestly and respectfully, there's no need to worry. Depending on the situation or individuals involved, you can be direct and straightforward, or you can consider using a sandwich structure to more smoothly convey your message.

Avoid ambiguity and confusion by delivering your message clearly and concisely. For instance, when assigning tasks, be crystal clear about expectations, deadlines, and desired outcomes to ensure smooth execution and success. This ensures that everyone is on the same page and can work effectively towards common goals. ??

Advancing with EI development, clear communication is essential. Incorporate 6 Seconds' ethos by expressing your thoughts and feelings honestly, yet constructively, aligning with your team's emotional needs. Utilize tools like DISC for understanding communication styles, RACI for clarifying roles, and STAR for structured feedback. Adapt your communication to match various contexts, guided by 6 Seconds' principles of empathy and emotional insight. This fosters an environment of trust and mutual respect, essential for effective teamwork and leadership.

This is perhaps one of the most fundamental actions early on in your role. Your team is also experiencing change and uncertainty, with some fear for the unknown. They don't know you yet, and they will also have to adjust to new ways of working. When we experience a gap in our mind, we tend to bridge that gap through our bias, stories and assumptions. So the more you communicate to ensure they are not basing their assumptions on fiction or fear, the more they will trust you and your judgement. Because they know that you will keep them involved, even if it is on a need to know basis. When we face uncertainty externally, as leaders, you can help your team feel certainty inside of them.

Conflicts are situations where your EQ skills are crucial. It's important to understand the interests and needs behind their initial requests. A lot of time, we are just fighting on the initial requests but not the underlying needs. Then to gather this information, you need to go back to the core EQ skills of listening and empathy.

Stay ahead of conflicts by having dedicated spaces and procedures for when and where concerns should be voiced. Have an "open door" policy (even if that is a virtual door). Communicate to your team BEFORE conflicts arise that all communication is welcome if it is in the spirit of growth.

In resolving conflicts, apply 6 Seconds' approach to understand underlying emotions and interests. Use tools like the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument and Interest-Based Relational Approach to foster collaborative solutions, aligning with 6 Seconds' emphasis on empathy and emotional insight. Prevent conflicts by setting clear expectations and valuing differences, reflecting 6 Seconds' principles of emotional intelligence in leadership. This method not only resolves disputes but also strengthens team cohesion and trust, crucial for a harmonious and productive work environment.

If you are a new manager in the role or in the team, one of the most important things to do is learn to listen to your team members. 1. To get to know them professionally (what they do and what are their challenges) and personally (passions, expectations, perspectives, etc.) 2. To get to know the dynamics of the team 3. To discover the team values 4. To find out who is the informal leader 5. To learn their expectations from you Build relationships first and business results will follow.