When faced with conflicting emotions in a team, I focus on aligning everyone through shared goals and intentional empathy. I start by facilitating a “goal reset” to shift focus from personal grievances to collective objectives. Creative exercises, like describing the tension through metaphors, help disarm defensiveness and uncover deeper insights. If emotions escalate, I assign a neutral mediator to foster understanding and build peer accountability. Finally, I ensure every discussion ends with actionable steps, not just emotional acknowledgment. This approach transforms conflict into an opportunity for growth, trust, and improved collaboration.

Over time, I’ve learned that the right approach is not about rushing to fix things or taking sides but about creating space. When emotions run high, stepping back and letting people feel heard is important. I ask simple, open-ended questions: ‘What’s bothering you?’ or ‘What would help here?’ Most of the time, people don’t need solutions. They need to know their perspective matters. Once everyone’s been heard, clarity starts creeping in, and that’s when I step in to align the group on what really matters: our shared goals. It’s not easy, and you can’t please everyone, but when you focus on what’s fair and transparent, you gain trust.

I suggested to a client this week that she asked each person what the colleagues had actually said to each other and what they wanted to happen as a result. Then look at whether what they'd said was likely to achieve that - put them in the other persons shoes. I find this helps people to really think about what they are saying and doing. It helps them act with intention.