You're coaching executives on emotional intelligence. How crucial is self-awareness in your approach?

One of the best skills I taught my self was somatic intelligence. The ability to recognise subtle cues of the body. At first it came from presence with nutrition and how food affected my body, but the presence started to have benefits in all the subtleties I could pick up with clients. Often our clients are not saying whats truly at the root of their problems. Its our job to strengthen this muscle of self awareness, emotional intelligence and become more heart centred in our leadership ability. Its these skills that also influence how they are able to evolve in their own leadership potential.

Confesso que n?o sei como seria um processo trabalhando a inteligência emocional sem ter o autoconhecimento como base. Pois o primeiro passo para desenvolver a IE é se conhecer, saber identificar suas emo??es, seus sentimentos e comportamentos. Sabendo quem você é fica muito mais fácil olhar para o outro também.

This is true for anyone. You cannot effect change without self awareness. Leadership development, executive or otherwise, is not a technical learning or a class you can take. You must always start with where the person is to make any lasting effect. Self Awareness is 100% the key to successful transformation.

Self-awareness in emotional intelligence is like the bread in a PB&J sandwich – essential and foundational. Remember the acronym BREAD: Base: Self-awareness is the foundation of EI. Without it, progress is unstable. Reflect: Encourage executives to reflect on their emotions and reactions. Empathy: Understanding oneself enhances empathy towards others. Adapt: Self-aware leaders adapt better to challenges. Drive: It fuels personal growth and authentic leadership. Without self-awareness, emotional intelligence crumbles. It's the cornerstone of leading with heart and wisdom.

Self-awareness is one of the most important skills, if not THE most important skill, for executives and their coaches. How are you perceived in your work setting? What impact do you have on those around you? What changes would make you more effective? Answering these questions may require a new approach to your work but can set you on the path to stronger, more successful leadership. Openness to new ways of doing things is a commitment to the disciplined pursuit of continuous improvement. It may require moving outside of your comfort zone to be more curious. Ask questions to learn, not to prove that you are right. Thoughtfully consider what you hear. As you listen, openly and without judgment, you are likely to gain greater awareness.

I was lucky enough to be trained by Dr. Brené Brown as a Dare to Lead facilitator. The first step to empathy growth is truly understanding what it is, and what it isn't. Often people conflate empathy with sympathy. Empathy is being with a person in their experience, and sympathy is feeling sorry for them while they’re in it. Other empathy misses are going into fix it mode, trying to minimize their experience (since it’s uncomfortable for us) or we might even blame a person for the predicament they’re in. Learning to simply be with another’s experience and emotions allows people to be truly seen and heard.

There are two key components of EI — empathy and compassion. Empathy is the ability to feel what another person feels, while compassion involves acknowledging another's feelings and experiences without necessarily feeling them yourself. Self-awareness is essential for both, especially for executives. As an executive, you need to be there for others, even when you don't have the capacity to empathize with them. In these cases, compassion becomes your best ally. It allows you to be present and respectful, transforming the unknown into possibility, and enabling you to remain in service to others. In my coaching practice, I help leaders understand the difference between empathy and compassion, and how to effectively use each in their roles.

To deepen executive self-awareness, incorporate mindfulness and reflection practices into your coaching sessions. These techniques help leaders identify and understand their emotional responses and triggers in real time. Regular mindfulness exercises also promote a calmer, more composed mindset, enabling executives to make decisions that are less influenced by emotional biases and more grounded in rational thought. This approach not only enhances decision-making but also strengthens overall leadership effectiveness.

In the high-stakes world of executive leadership, stress is a constant companion. As a coach, I've seen how self-awareness can be the secret weapon in this battle. By tuning into their own subtle cues, leaders learn to recognize when pressure is mounting and how it's affecting their decisions and actions. But awareness is just the beginning. Through our work together, executives master the art of self-regulation, armed with powerful techniques to navigate stress with poise and resilience. It's not about eliminating stress, but rather, harnessing its energy to fuel sustainable, impactful leadership. And that's where true transformation takes place.

Stress is a normal part of our lives. Knowing when its exceeding normal levels is important because that's precisely the time when we react rather than respond to the stressor quite often leading to a damaging situation. A self-aware executive learns to recognize the triggers that aggravate stress and also the course of action they need to take to diffuse situations instead of adding to the drama. Maintaining a stress log is useful in identifying these triggers as well as responses that work best.

What impact do you have on those around you? Think about it. Most of us have had the experience of interacting with leaders who did not communicate well and were oblivious to the fact that they left team members confused and befuddle or disengaged. They see others as the 'problem.' Leaders who actively seek out information and listen to understand tend to have greater insight into what's really happening. They are then able to craft messages in terms that truly resonate with their audiences. In addition, by opening themselves to feedback and taking time to consider what they've heard, rather than immediately reacting, they become more thoughtful in their responses, generating a cycle of useful information and feedback that benefits all.

To boost executive communication, focus coaching on active listening and self-assessment. Encourage leaders to explore and understand their communication styles through feedback exercises, helping them adjust their approach for clarity and effectiveness. This practice not only improves how they convey messages but also how they respond to and incorporate feedback, enhancing overall interpersonal interactions.

The work I have done in the area of authentic leadership has been helpful when applied to my coaching practice as well. I encouraged clients to pause, listen, respond. Your presence as a leader is more than how you command the room. It relates to your ability to align your words and actions. It is associated with your capacity to listen and leave space for others to share their ideas. What do you want to demonstrate through your actions? A conscious response to issues is more productive than jumping to conclusions and reacting out of emotion. These are tools that exceptional leaders manifest in their professional interactions.

Self-awareness is indeed foundational, but let's consider its Spiritual Dimension. When executives tap into their Spiritual Intelligence, they connect with a deeper sense of purpose. This connection not only enhances their presence but also brings a profound sense of empathy and compassion in their leadership. By embracing this “Holistic” approach, we nurture leaders who inspire not just through words but through the very essence of their being. This presence, grounded in self-awareness and Spiritual Intelligence, transforms leadership into an act of service, aligning personal values with the greater good.

Self-awareness like emotional intelligence has many layers. For executives the key part of self awareness is understanding how you impact and influence others and the results these create. It is also not enough to be self aware. You have to know yourself and grow yourself. An executive coach can empower you to reveal uncomfortable insughts and hlelp you use the information and strategies to self regulate and achieve emotional intelligence

As an Inclusive Leader & Coach, in my experience it's also important to understand how the individual learns and processes information and what their strengths and weaknesses are, such that you can meet them where they are at. Everyone is unique and one size solutions certainly don't fit all. For example in Neurodiverse leaders, their executive functions can vary significantly and so more tailored and creative strategies would be required to help develop any aspects of their emotional intelligence and communication styles in order to be more effective help in their professional development as a leader.

In addition to the above, it is good to rely on executive training in building and enhancing emotional intelligence in the training environment using a training approach based on team-building skills by designing practical training sessions that implement group activities to reinforce the previously mentioned ideas, with a focus on situational activities that the trainee is subjected to.

Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence in my coaching. It helps leaders understand their own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and what drives them. This understanding is crucial for self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills—the other elements that make up EI. However, being self-aware is not enough; leaders must act on this insight. When they do, they lead with clarity, confidence, and purpose, significantly improving their overall effectiveness.

It is relevant to make sure that you maintain a practice of self reflection and getting feedback from others in a way that you keep developing your impact on others, in a way that feels right to you, improving the way you communicate your perspectives and yourself.