You're coaching a client who's resistant to your suggestions. How can you break through their barriers?

Building trust and collaboration is the bedrock of any coaching relationship, even during resistance. Actively listen to their concerns and demonstrate understanding, acknowledge their feelings and show empathy. This in turn encourages openness for your clients.

I feel like the premise of this question is wrong. If I am coaching a client, I should be asking them what actions make sense for them to make shifts. Get them to imagine what it would look like if they achieved their goal and have them pinpoint what shifts they would need to make to get there. However, if they're stuck and need some suggestions I'll make some, but I'm never attached to my offerings to the client. I present my ideas as if I were placing food on a buffet table. They can choose to take from my dish or pass it by, but the choice is theirs and I am ok with their decision as I am present in the moment with them. If they don't like my suggestions, I will then ask the client what ideas they think could work instead.

Of course many clients can be resistant to change, but it's good to remind them why they hired you in the first place.... because they had a problem that needed solving, because things needed to change. It can take longer for some than others, building a good trusting relationship is key, being open and vulnerable yourself helps build that connection. Break things down into micro actions and build from there. Adjust your coaching style if neccessary, this is where we have to be adaptable as coaches, because all clients aren't created equal!

The first step is to determine whether you're in a true coaching role (at least at a professional level) or an advising role, as this will shape your approach. As a professional coach, our goal is to guide clients to their desired outcomes without giving direct suggestions. We engage in thought-provoking conversations filled with powerful inquiries that naturally lead the client to their goals. While giving advice can be helpful, it is far more powerful to help clients arrive at their desired destination through their own solutions.

Formulate goals and actions with the client. Coaching is not telling. Options can be illustrated through metaphor and stories and examples of how others are overcoming problems. All steps should be agreed with the client, they own the transformation

Coachees need to be prepared to make a change if they want to achieve a different outcome, but sometimes this can feel really scary or uncertain or their thoughts start to spiral to what if it goes wrong, or what if XYZ happens... helping them understand it's normal to feel uncomfortable stepping out of their comfort zone can help, and if we never do it nothing ever changes.

My first step would be to decide if Jan also perceives there are challenges that need to be addressed. Once there is agreement, it is less productive to tell the team what to do rather than work with them. If Jan is resistant to your authority, throw the task to the team to brainstorm solutions, and allow Jan to bring that task to the team. Can Jan then be tasked to present these ideas at a team meeting? This allows Jan the chance to recoup a bit of their lost self esteem. Not to downplay the others, the supervisor can begin the meeting with something like, “When the problems were identified, Jan helped organize the team to identify the best solutions. Jan, why don’t you bring us up to speed. The rest of you pop in as necessary.”

Breaking Through Client Resistance Navigating client resistance requires empathy and strategic approaches. Start by actively listening to their concerns to build trust. According to Harvard Business Review, effective listening can boost client cooperation by 20%. Use motivational interviewing techniques to encourage self-reflection and uncover the root of resistance. Presenting small, achievable steps can also help overcome barriers gradually. Remember, your role is to guide, not to impose; fostering a collaborative relationship can transform resistance into acceptance.

Journalling is a powerful way to help with reframing and to help one to reflect and develop an openness to correction and change. Two useful prompts would be a values check-in and barriers and solutions prompt. For example, What values did I uphold today and when did I move away from them? How can I realign my actions tomorrow with my core values? What challenges did I face today, and how did I overcome them? If I didn’t, what can I do differently next time? Journalling is private and allows one the space to express oneself without fear of holding back. This can be empowering especially when they find that they have the self-awareness and agency for change.

In my experience, coaching is about aggregating marginal gains. Otherwise, the expereince can feel rather overwhelming. When it gets to be overwhelming, you meet resistance. So, to get the best out of the coaching experience, the parties need to agree on and build a plan that allows growth to occur in a way that does not engender too much resistance. Some resistance is good, it means you are leaving your comfort zone and your capability limit. Too much of that and you risk reversing any gains.

Resistance is natural on an unknown terrain. It is important to understand the landscape, the background why your client could be resisting. Privacy & Trust play a pivotal role. Make sure your client trusts you with the information they share with you. Career Coaching is bringing the best within every individual, it’s like making the gold shine, which is its true nature already. Provide choices of least resistance, assure the client it is their life and ownership reside with them undoubtedly. Nothing should be achieved in a hurry. Be there for them and help ease the path of resistance.

When we progress, even just a small step towards our goal, reflecting on how we got there is important. It shines a light on to where we have been and where we’re heading. Illuminating the path for ourselves and client can become a path of growth for both parties. Valuable insights can become a learning tool for continual guidance at the work accomplished by the client. Showing them their worth and value for their journey in life, business, or etc.