You're coaching a client who likes to keep their distance. How can you build trust effectively?

I do a technique similar to coaching called RIM facilitation. Interestingly the answer in RIM to building trust is to just allow them to keep their distance. Trying to move them past their comfort level will likely lead to them not coming back to work with you again. A good coaching agreement that is clear about what the client wants to work on will be your guide. If they have chosen to work on the topic they should naturally have a lot to talk about. If, however, the coaching was mandated from above, you might just be working on the topic from the wrong angle. Get curious about what would excite your client around this topic.

It is important to understand and respect your client's boundaries in order to build trust. Authenticity, however, is also essential, so if you are a warm person, don't be afraid to show it. Pay attention to their needs, but do not pretend to be someone you are not.

Managing a stakeholder who prefers to maintain distance can be challenging as a coach. It's important to respect their boundaries while fostering open communication. Focus on building trust through regular, concise check-ins that allow for dialogue without overwhelming them. Use targeted questions to encourage their input and show genuine interest in their perspectives. Highlight the benefits of collaboration while acknowledging their need for space. By balancing support with respect for their preferred style, you can create a productive coaching relationship that aligns with their comfort level and fosters growth

Respecter les limites de son-sa coaché-e fait partie intégrante de notre métier de coach. Pour montrer que l'on prend en considération ses besoins et créer une relation de confiance, on peut laisser le choix des méthodes de communication, de rythme. J'insiste sur la confidentialité des échanges. Et surtout, je m'assure toujours que mon-ma coaché-e est partant-e pour un outil après lui avoir expliqué le mode opératoire. Je peux faire des ajustements dans ma manière de communiquer, fonctionner, néanmoins il me semble important de rester authentique, ce qui privilégiera le l'installation du lien de confiance.

To establish trust with a client who prefers maintaining distance, prioritize active listening. Demonstrate genuine interest by posing open-ended questions, validating their emotions, and summarizing their statements to confirm comprehension. This approach reflects respect for their viewpoint, fostering a trusting relationship.

In my coaching practice, building trust with clients who prefer to keep their distance centers on consistency. I establish a regular schedule for communications, whether through emails, texts, or occasional calls, ensuring they know they are a priority. Each interaction is focused and respects their boundaries, which helps in maintaining dependable support. Consistency in the quality and relevance of the information I provide also plays a crucial role. Additionally, I make it a point to consistently recognize their progress, reinforcing trust and demonstrating that I value their efforts. This approach ensures that even distant clients feel secure and valued, fostering a trusting and effective coaching relationship over time.

Building trust with a reserved client takes time and genuine connection. Start by sharing relevant experiences from your own life or coaching journey. Be vulnerable and authentic as you recount challenges you've faced and lessons you've learned. This vulnerability can help your client feel more at ease and understood. It shows them that you're human too, and that they're not alone in their struggles. By relating to your client on a personal level, you create a safe space for them to gradually open up.

Building trust by sharing experiences also takes the form of sharing the experiences of other clients (while preserving confidentiality) who have traversed similar terrain and/or overcome relevant obstacles and challenges. Often clients share that they benefit from peers' lessons learned and appreciate learning that their situation is not unique.

One thing for sure is that if you try and push someone to open up or discuss an issue they're not comfortable with you'll never gain that rapport which is so important. Be authentic, be prepared to listen and wait and show genuine empathy and understanding. Remember in a coaching relationship the client leads and so if there are moments of silence and hesitation, so be it. Perhaps that's what they need. Trust needs to be earned, it's not a given.

Keep showing up authentically and holding space for our clients and demonstrating empathy is essential. Remembering that they do not owe us anything. There is a reason why they are distant- you may never fully understand why that is ok, be respectful of their boundaries and take it at their pace.

Respect the distance. Nudge to determine the limits, sure—but honor them (the limits). Trust comes with time and is earned. One way to build/earn trust is to... trust. Be trustworthy.