We don’t. Coaching is a journey and one that the client is responsible for the direction s/he wants to go. When they are ready, we are here. Meanwhile help them to explore the landscape of their journey and ask them to talk about that instead.

When coaching a client resistant to self-reflection, the key to breaking through their barriers is creating a safe, non-judgmental space for dialogue. Begin by asking open-ended, thought-provoking questions that gently guide them toward introspection without forcing it. Focus on small, manageable insights rather than diving into deep reflections too quickly. Encourage them to explore how their actions and decisions align with their goals, using specific examples to make the process less abstract. By offering support and validating their experiences, you can help them gradually become more comfortable with self-reflection and personal growth.

Resistance to self-reflection can be a form of self-protection—it's easier to stay comfortable than face uncomfortable truths. But ask yourself: What are you really protecting? By helping clients see that this avoidance is just a way of staying stuck, they can shift the focus from fear of what they might find, to curiosity about what they can discover. Sometimes, all it takes is reframing reflection as an opportunity for growth, rather than self-criticism. What’s on the other side of the wall they’ve built? That’s where the real conversation begins.