Your team member's emotions are impacting their performance. How can you support them effectively?

As a mindful manager, I had this exact situation occur. I saw her declining both professionally and personally. And could tell that she was really struggling. I recognized that this was not a time to focus on the performance of my team, but rather the wellbeing of it. When one is hurting, all will be affected. My focus shifted from numbers, to support. Many people are not comfortable initiating a conversation, especially with their manager, about how they are feeling. To be mindful, is to be compassionate so it was easy to focus on her without judgement. Mental health is very real and it is super important to provide a space of neutral openness for others to feel supported.

Even before this step, step zero: relate to your team members as humans before you relate to them as employees. I remember an employee once telling me that they didn't want to share any personal details in the workplace .. they wanted a firm division between work and personal life. I told them that there is no division between work and life .. you are living your life every minute of every day, including when you're at work. After spending years in an industry where management encouraged suppression of emotions and "checking your personal life at the door", I vowed to be a leader who encouraged people to bring their FULL SELF to work. Because THIS is where the true magic, the creativity, the innovation comes to life.

Start by creating a safe space for them to express their feelings without fear of judgment. Approach the conversation with genuine concern, using open-ended questions like, "I've noticed you seem a bit off lately. Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" Once they open up, listen actively and validate their emotions, showing that you understand and care. Offer support by suggesting practical coping mechanisms such as mindfulness exercises, regular breaks, or even connecting them with professional resources if needed. Encourage them to set small, manageable goals to regain a sense of control and accomplishment. Most importantly, reassure them that it's okay to have tough times and that the team is there to support them.

As "Suzie" and I talked, she disclosed that there were some very serious issues. She was neither physically safe, nor emotionally safe. I remained open, compassionate, and fully present for her. I maintained my own breath awareness as she was speaking, so as not to allow my mind to wander into the future of how to help her yet. I also knew that she had to be willing to accept the help and I could not force her. I asked if she wanted some resources and that if she needed some time off, I could put her in touch with HR to see about her options. She accepted. It was clear to me that my complete openness to support her was what she needed in order to see what her options were. I told her she was valued and I would hold space for her!

In all my 1:1 meetings with my team, I always asked how they were managing stress and what the current stress level was for them. I encouraged team support, time off, and asking for help. I would share my own stories of how I have balance in my own life. A lot of my observations of what my team needed were intuitive and using body language, performance data, and how they spoke. When you are present, you can see slight changes in behavior and mannerisms that give clues to the wellbeing of your team. The team is a unit, a whole, a family. It is not a bunch of individuals on islands doing their own thing. To be present with the team is to unite them in small ways. Allow them to be present by giving them all space to reflect and recharge.

I loved to allow different team members to be highlighted at meetings. Asking them to share what they love, how they succeeded recently, and how working with other teammates helped them. It is priceless! I would assign team members to newer members in order to foster the need to give back (the experienced members wanted this), and the feeling of support and assistance for the newer members. The positive vibes it created were so powerful. Being present and mindful means having the most fun!

Leading by example is crucial when supporting a team member whose emotions are impacting their performance. When we practice mindfulness, we demonstrate empathy, resilience, and a positive attitude. I show my genuine concern by actively listening and acknowledging their feelings, I would also maintain a calm and composed demeanor, even in stressful situations, to inspire confidence. I would also share my own experiences and coping strategies, I would reiterate the importance of mental health and self-care.

Support an emotionally struggling team member by first offering a private, empathetic conversation. Listen actively without judgment to understand their feelings. Encourage them to express their concerns and validate their emotions. Suggest mindfulness techniques like deep breathing or short breaks to help them manage stress. Offer flexibility in deadlines if possible, and collaborate on a plan to address their workload. Provide resources such as counseling services or mindfulness workshops. Regularly check in to show ongoing support and ensure they feel valued and understood.