Your team member lacks emotional intelligence. How can you effectively provide constructive feedback?

Dealing with a team member lacking emotional intelligence can be approached similarly to guiding a child. I would use clear, factual communication to explain the implications of their behavior on the team, much like explaining consequences to a child. By assigning them a task where they are fully accountable and responsible, I would set clear expectations about the outcome without dictating how to achieve it. I’ve used this method a lot and the results were amazing because not only highlights the importance of their role but also encourages them to develop problem-solving and emotional skills through experience. This hands-on approach can foster a sense of responsibility and improve their emotional intelligence over time.

- Think of times (meetings, chats) when they seemed to miss how their actions affected others. - Note if they got frustrated easily or struggled to collaborate. - Focus on how often this happens, not just one time. - Write down specific examples (what they did) to guide your feedback.

é possível identificar se um indivíduo tem ou n?o Inteligência Emocional? Sim! Daniel Goleman define IE como a capacidade de reconhecer e gerenciar nossas próprias emo??es e as dos outros. Para determinar se um membro da equipe carece de IE, observe comportamentos que revelem deficiências nos principais componentes: ? Autoconhecimento; ? Autocontrole; ? Motiva??o; ? Habilidades Sociais. O feedback deve focar em comportamentos observáveis, com comunica??o clara e empática em um ambiente seguro. Ofere?a suporte contínuo com leituras e cursos, mostrando investimento no crescimento do colega.

Em uma reuni?o convocada pelo novo diretor, que tinha experiência em uma área diferente, ele come?ou a vociferar de forma hiperativa, expondo e criticando abertamente um membro da equipe. Em vez de utilizar um feedback 1x1 e um plano de a??o, ele pareceu querer "punir" a equipe. Isso n?o funcionou, e ele acabou apenas prejudicando sua própria imagem.

Focus on behaviors, not personality traits. For example, instead of "You're not good at reading the room," say, "I noticed in the last meeting when several colleagues seemed upset, it didn't seem to register with you." This way, the feedback is seen as constructive and focused on specific actions, fostering professional growth in emotional intelligence.

You know how we sometimes send emails before fully waking up? It’s a bit like that with emotional intelligence—we can all improve! When giving feedback, start by highlighting their strengths and then gently discuss specific instances where emotional intelligence could be boosted. Offer practical tips, like how they could actively listen or recognize emotions in others, and encourage them to practice. Remember, emotional intelligence is a skill we can all develop—like perfecting your coffee order!

The feedback should be specific, based on the action and situation. So the team member can quickly remember the case, and understand that we provide feedback based on behavior, not personality

As mentioned, the team member lacks emotional intelligence, hence it is definitely important to provide a 'safe' space to have this conversation. When you allow this safe space and you 'hold' the space for the coachee to discover and reflect on the feedback, the coachee will then have the opportunity to internalize the feedback based on their own background and culture.

La elección del entorno adecuado para ofrecer retroalimentación es un aspecto crucial que a menudo se pasa por alto. Un espacio privado y neutral no solo muestra respeto por la privacidad del individuo, sino que también establece el tono para una conversación sincera y abierta. En un lugar donde uno se siente seguro y sin la presión de las miradas externas, es más probable que la persona esté abierta y sea receptiva a los comentarios, incluso si son críticos. Por otro lado, un entorno público o inapropiado puede provocar vergüenza y defensividad, lo que obstaculiza la comunicación efectiva y puede da?ar la relación entre el emisor y el receptor de la retroalimentación.

Create the safe environment so the team member feels secure and comfortable. It can be private talking between you and team member only, avoid provide feedback in front of others.

The well-known F.B.I. method has been powerful for me and my talents. It is specially interesting when you provide a feedback based on recent behaviours and/or specific actions, not performances. It stands for: Feeling: how did you feel when someone acted in a certain way? What emotions did that triggered in you? Are you disappointed, sad, angry, concerned…? Behaviour: what was the specific action or a set of repetitive actions that caused this feeling? Try to be as precise as possible. Impact: what are the consequences of such actions? Does it impact your relationship? The company? The culture?

La retroalimentación es un arte que, cuando se hace con claridad y empatía, puede transformar el entorno laboral. Utilizar frases en primera persona y expresar cómo las acciones de alguien afectan al equipo permite una comunicación más personal y directa. Esto ayuda a que la persona no solo entienda el impacto de sus acciones, sino que también sienta que la retroalimentación proviene de una preocupación genuina y no de un juicio. Por ejemplo, decir “Siento que cuando descartas la opinión de los demás, se crea tensión en el equipo” pone el foco en tus sentimientos y percepciones, lo que es menos probable que provoque una reacción defensiva.

Una retroalimentación constructiva ha de reforzar los rasgos positivos antes de pasar a lo que es susceptible de mejora. Es necesario exponer de forma concisa y objetiva los puntos que necesitan una transformación para bien del equipo. Abrir un espacio para su #Autoreflexión con preguntas abiertas tiene mejores resultados que la simple imposición normativa en la que no se ven los beneficios del cambio. Preguntar cuáles serían las mejores opciones de mejora para implementar y a partir de ahí, debatirlas. Hacerle partícipe garantiza un mayor y mejor compromiso.

Be empathy to understand how did the team member feel at that time and the reason why he/ she reacted like that. Coach he/ she the consequence of this action and how they can do different next time

There was an A player in my team who was very very sharp on her technicals. She would often argue vehemently to prove her point. Although she was right many a times, but the way she argued, she sometimes rubbed her peers and even her superiors on the wrong side. This is a common problem with high performers (especially the younger ones) who may be high on their IQ but their EQ may faulter. They are not solely at fault since they have never been taught Emotional Intelligence in their schools and colleges and they anyways lack the practical experience. In this case, I did recommend few good books on Emotional Intelligence, which she diligently read and then I would discuss the learnings with her. This made a positive difference in her EQ.

In my experience you can’t change anyone. People have to want to change. Creating a supportive culture that inspires change is what I aim to foster in my practice no matter what the situation or dynamic. I exemplify emotional intelligence by active listening, reflection and meeting someone where they are. Identifying strengths that appear as weaknesses, pacing and leading techniques and open-ended inquiries will often create an engaging discussion where we can guide the ship to an optimal shore. I see every challenge as an opportunity to grow. Often times pivoting someone’s strengths to a more appropriate role is enough. In a supportive environment different mindsets and levels of intelligence create brilliant solutions.

La retroalimentación efectiva no termina con la entrega de comentarios; es solo el comienzo de un proceso de desarrollo continuo. Ofrecer apoyo y recursos para mejorar la inteligencia emocional (E.I.) es fundamental para ayudar a los miembros del equipo a crecer y adaptarse. Esto puede incluir la recomendación de libros especializados, la inscripción en cursos de desarrollo profesional o incluso sesiones de práctica de escenarios reales.

El primer cometido de un líder es inspirar con el ejemplo a su equipo. Divulgue los beneficios que le aporta cultivar su #InteligencaEmocional con ejemplos que les resulten familiares a todos. Invíteles a imitar algunas de sus acciones de respuesta a las situaciones difíciles y/o conflictivas y a observar qué ocurre. Sugiérales tomar formaciones y comenzar a aplicar las ense?anzas y recursos a su entorno laboral. No todos lo harán, pero los que Sí lo hagan, inspirarán a su vez, a los demás...

Lead by example. Show your team members that trust, reliability, and responsibility are key traits for emotional intelligence. They will benefit from your stable behavior and likely start to adapt it too. Use the check- ins to ask them what they would like to learn or deepen in Emotional Intelligence and help them see the impact of emotional intelligence. Discuss different approaches to recent situations and let them understand how handling situations with EI will make a big difference - not just for others bit also for themselves. Invite them to self- reflect and to understand their own behavior better. The more you practice with them, the more natural it will eventually become for your team to act emotionally intelligent.

One thing I've found helpful for team members with lower emotional intelligence is to be more clear with them. With high emotional intelligence team members, you can be subtle and they still understand your intentions. For others, it is helpful to say clearly ''We don't allow this kind of interaction in our team'' while also offering them space to listen to their perspective and to support them.

Meio complicado julgar que a pessoa tem ou n?o inteligência emocional. Com base em que? Foi diagnosticado por um médico? Cuidado com julgamentos, pois a afirma??o é muito relativa! O ideal nesses casos é chamar o indivíduo pra conversar e entender o motivo de determinado comportamento, pois, tudo tem um motivo por trás, basta ter empatia e paciência para entender.

Listening skills: Listen to your team's perspectives and concerns. By listening we allow the team members to feel valued and respected. It builds trust, which is crucial. Involve the team in decision making. Delegate power to empower the team. Teamwork makes the dream work!

Providing constructive feedback to a team member who lacks emotional intelligence involves being clear, specific, and empathetic. Start by highlighting specific behaviors and their impact on the team, using concrete examples. Frame your feedback in a way that shows how improving emotional intelligence can benefit both the individual and the team. Offer practical suggestions and resources for development, such as training or coaching. Encourage open dialogue, allowing the team member to share their perspective and express any concerns. Finally, provide ongoing support and follow-up to help them progress and reinforce positive changes.

Consider this: It is challenging guiding team members who lack emotional intelligence, but it is very possible. In these cases, providing feedback becomes sensitive. Approach with empathy, use specific examples they will understand, and focus on growth. I've seen these steps transform team dynamics.