Your client is defensive during a coaching conversation. How can you break through their barriers?
When a client puts up walls, use these tactics to create a breakthrough:
How do you approach defensiveness in your coaching practice?
Your client is defensive during a coaching conversation. How can you break through their barriers?
When a client puts up walls, use these tactics to create a breakthrough:
How do you approach defensiveness in your coaching practice?
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Breaking through defensiveness in a coaching conversation requires patience, empathy, and skillful questioning. Start by creating a safe space, letting the client know that your goal is to support their growth and that you value their perspectives. Acknowledge their feelings without judgment, as this can help disarm their defensive stance. Use open-ended questions to gently explore the root of their resistance, which might be fear of criticism or vulnerability. Encourage them to reframe the discussion as a learning opportunity rather than a critique. By fostering trust and focusing on mutual respect, you can gradually help them lower their guard and engage more openly.
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Be as frank and honest as possible - express your feelings around defensiveness of your client Open honest conversations - ask is there something in your own style that leads your client to be defensive Identify the underlying cause by asking questions that help your client to reflect on their pattern - any past experiences leading to certain behaviour Share your stories and experiences to help your client to feel safe around you and open up Persevere through your journey
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When a client becomes defensive during a coaching conversation, I focus on creating a safe and non-judgmental space. I begin by acknowledging their feelings and validating their perspective, ensuring they feel heard. I avoid pushing or challenging too quickly, instead asking open-ended questions to help them reflect on their thoughts and emotions. By showing empathy and curiosity, I help them move past the defensiveness and explore the root of their concerns. I also reinforce that the coaching process is about their growth, not criticism, making it clear that we’re partners in achieving their goals, not adversaries.
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Listening to client patiently gives them a confidence that we are there for their support. Will always create an environment where each one of us can share their knowledge and problems without any hesitations . We will give them a confidence that we both are working to achieve a same goal despite we have a disagreement on some points . A healthy conversation is always helpful to in such cases , respect their views and think from client perspective always helpful.
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The result of coaching depends to golden triangle of: Client, Coach, Coaching process. In client's part, they should choose the coaching by their own and be responsible for actions and result. So, when a client is defensive, at first, we should find the reason they choose coaching. Maybe that is the force of their partners, friends, family or organization. Or they want to establish to themselves and others that coaching doesn't work such as other modalities that they tried. by finding the reason of defense, then we can work on that by making a safe and trustful partnership, active listening, wise inquiry, empathy, and miracle silence!