Begin by approaching the conversation from a place of support, making it clear that your goal is to help them grow and succeed. Explain how they impact the team or project, keeping your tone constructive rather than critical. Acknowledge their strengths to reinforce that you value their contributions, and encourage a two-way dialogue so they feel heard and understood. By focusing on collaborative problem-solving, offer actionable steps for improvement, and reassure them that you're committed to helping them progress. This approach ensures that they see the feedback as an investment in their development, which can actually strengthen your relationship.

Use the SBIRA feedback framework. As the leader, speak with the team member about the Situation, the observed Behaviour, the Impact it had on the situation, get a Response from the team member, and close with Accountability from team member on actions they will take to improve.

Few years ago, I started working with a very dysfunctional team. As I was preparing myself for another round of "tough love", I decided to try a different approach - I simply asked this "is how we are working, working for you"? and then I added, "do I give you what you need to succeed in your role"? It was a complete game changer!

Start by focusing on specific behaviors rather than making it personal, which helps to keep the conversation constructive. Approach the feedback with empathy, expressing that the purpose is to support their growth rather than to criticize. Acknowledge the team member’s strengths and contributions before addressing the areas needing improvement, which reinforces that you recognize their value. Clearly explain how the issues impact the team’s goals, and offer actionable suggestions for improvement, emphasizing that you’re invested in their success. By keeping the tone collaborative and respectful, you can address tough issues directly while maintaining trust and a positive working relationship.

When delivering tough feedback, lead with empathy. Begin by acknowledging the team member’s contributions and their potential. This helps them feel valued and respected, making them more open to hearing the feedback. Then, be clear and specific—vague feedback leaves room for misinterpretation and frustration. State what you observed, why it’s an issue, and how it impacts the team or project outcomes.