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What's your approach to unresponsive mentees?

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As a mentor, you want to help your mentees grow and achieve their goals. But sometimes, you may encounter mentees who are unresponsive, disengaged, or unmotivated. How do you deal with this situation and rekindle their interest and commitment? Here are some tips to help you improve your communication and feedback skills, and foster a positive and supportive relationship with your unresponsive mentees.

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1 Identify the root cause

The first step to address the issue of unresponsiveness is to understand why your mentee is behaving this way. There could be many reasons, such as personal or professional challenges, lack of clarity or direction, mismatched expectations, or low confidence. Try to empathize with your mentee and ask open-ended questions to explore their situation and feelings. Listen actively and respectfully, and avoid making assumptions or judgments. By showing genuine interest and concern, you can build trust and rapport with your mentee, and help them open up and share their challenges and goals.

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Annie Jean-Baptiste

Product Management Executive|Author, Building for Everyone| Founder of Product Inclusion & Equity at Google| Equitable Design Evangelist | Board Director | Intrapreneur in Residence, UPenn|LinkedIn Top Voice
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I also think you should focus energy where and when people are ready to receive it. Ask your mentee if there is a better time to connect, if they'd like to pause, or if perhaps offline/email may be better. Sometimes providing options can open up a more optimal solution! Relationships ebb and flow and that is ok.

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2 Adjust your communication style

The next step is to adapt your communication style to suit your mentee's preferences and needs. Some mentees may prefer more frequent and informal check-ins, while others may need more structure and guidance. Some may respond better to email or text, while others may prefer phone or video calls. Some may appreciate more praise and encouragement, while others may seek more constructive feedback and advice. Ask your mentee how they like to communicate, and tailor your approach accordingly. Also, be clear and consistent about your expectations and boundaries, and respect your mentee's time and availability.

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Pete Schramm

The Employee Retention Guy in the Age of AI ??? Tech to Build & Maintain Your Personal Board of Advisors with Career Maps ??? and Surveys ?? Invest in your people today! Share your story on our Pathfinders podcast ??
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It’s not one size fits all so we want to make sure that we take a moment at the end of each session to revisit our baseline goals and expectations - roles and responsibilities. Success is possible for sure and slightly pivoting is oftentimes necessary. Working with the facts (and stated “agreement/contract” can be very helpful)!

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3 Provide relevant and timely feedback

Feedback is an essential part of mentoring, as it helps your mentee learn from their experiences, refine their performance, and meet their objectives. Although it can be a sensitive and difficult topic, especially when your mentee is unresponsive or defensive, there are ways to make your feedback more effective and engaging. Make sure to provide feedback regularly and promptly, not just when there is a problem or a deadline. Focus on the behaviors and outcomes, not on personality or character traits. Additionally, the sandwich method can be used: start with something positive, then address the areas for improvement, and end with another positive or a suggestion for action. The SMART framework can also be employed: make sure your feedback is specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. Finally, ask for your mentee's input and feedback as well. Encourage them to reflect on their strengths and weaknesses.

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Annie Jean-Baptiste

Product Management Executive|Author, Building for Everyone| Founder of Product Inclusion & Equity at Google| Equitable Design Evangelist | Board Director | Intrapreneur in Residence, UPenn|LinkedIn Top Voice
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Radical Candor by Kim Scott is a great book on feedback. The SMART framework has definitely helped me, and giving feedback in the moment as feasible is helpful (vs letting it build to be a bigger issue.)

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4 Motivate and inspire your mentee

One of the main roles of a mentor is to motivate and inspire your mentee to pursue their goals and overcome their challenges. However, motivation is not something that you can impose or force on your mentee. Rather, it is something that you can nurture and support by creating a positive and supportive environment, where your mentee feels valued, respected, and empowered. To do this, you should help your mentee set realistic and meaningful goals which can be broken down into manageable steps. It is also important to celebrate their achievements and progress, acknowledge their efforts and challenges, share your own stories and experiences, connect them with other resources and opportunities, and challenge them to step out of their comfort zone. However, it is also important to provide support and guidance when needed.

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5 Know when to let go

As a mentor, it is important to recognize that sometimes, despite your best efforts, your mentee may not respond or improve. This could be due to various factors such as a change in their circumstances, a lack of interest or commitment, or a mismatch in personality or goals. In these cases, you should have an honest and respectful conversation with your mentee to express your concerns and expectations. Ask if they still want to continue the mentoring relationship and if not, why not. Explore other options such as finding a different mentor, taking a break, or ending the relationship. Finally, thank your mentee for their time and effort and wish them well for their future endeavors.

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6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Subbu Parameswaran

Entrepreneur | Investor | Growth Strategist | Mentor | Startup Advisor
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One of the biggest reasons why mentees become unresponsive is because people often confuse Mentorship for advice and it's important early on to distinguish between the two. When a mentee is opening up to you about their vulnerabilities, if you give them advice that will be the beginning of the end of your relationship. It's important to meet your mentee at their level, to position yourself there and understand why they may be unresponsive. Also, from the beginning, when a mentee seeks your inputs it's important to not give a solution. The magic of discovery of the solution is a self-confidence booster. If you become their crutch you will be defeating the purpose for which you initiated the relationship.

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What's your approach to unresponsive mentees?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Identify the root cause

2 Adjust your communication style

3 Provide relevant and timely feedback

4 Motivate and inspire your mentee

5 Know when to let go

6 Here’s what else to consider

Mentoring

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What's your approach to unresponsive mentees?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Identify the root cause

2 Adjust your communication style

3 Provide relevant and timely feedback

4 Motivate and inspire your mentee

5 Know when to let go

6 Here’s what else to consider

Mentoring

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