What are some ways to prioritize self-care while working in Peer Support?

A rule I’ve always find helpful is to learn how to be friendly without being a friend. Too often my empathy would cloud my judgement and ethical boundaries when my desire to “ solve” problems for my peers would arise. Being an advocate is learning to listen first, empathize and guide. My peers have always excelled further when conquering their own obstacles with as little direct help from me as possible.

It's important to no your limits, to set boundaries. Identify what frustrates you unnecessarily, what is overwhelming. Traditionally, we're not trained to regard our own discomfort in the workplace; we've been taught to get work done. It can lead to burnout, regret, resentment, and fatigue. Learn to say "no," and don't be ashamed, afraid, or embarassed to do it; it's a necessary skill. Practice. Most importantly, you will be happy that you were smart enough or bold enough to save yourself in effort to save the work reputation you've worked hard to create. Communicate what you're open to in team building. Say no when proposals come that will decenter you. Only you know your limits. Only you can verbalize them.

First, establish a role centered on prioritizing listening over providing solutions. This allows you to set boundaries within the scope of services offered by the peer group. Second, incorporate mindful breaks into your daily routine. For example, take mid-morning and mid-afternoon breaks for simple breathwork, such as heart coherence exercises, to maintain a stable and calm mind and reduce hyper/hypo-vigilance. Lastly, ensure that you have healed sufficiently from your own wounds to avoid being adversely affected by the stories of those you support. Self-awareness is crucial in maintaining objectivity and providing support.

Overachievers and independents often have trouble in this area. We don't like to bother other people with our projects. We sometimes think seeking help is a display of weakness in our own skills. Sometimes taking a break, not necessarily to seek advice, but simply to discuss the project with colleagues, family, friends can bring the necessary recharge or boost needed to coax you on to the next stage or phase of an event being planned or a project being carried out. An extensive writing project like a proposal, research analysis, etc. are examples where collaboration can reduce stress, anxiety, and open the door for putting the finishing touches on a project. We need someone to be "that person" we can call for help.

Nobody knows what is expected of you professionally or otherwise more than you. More importantly, nobody has more expertise in getting you across finish lines than you. It's important to keep self-care in mind as you navigate any project. Consider usual stressors and factor in any unexpected suprises that can show up along the way. The most important thing to consider is always you. We often focus on deadlines, teammates, and even leadership's impression of our finished product. These are all great to consider, but knowing when to slow down, take a break, recharge, be inspired, get help, or change directions on a project is a part of knowing yourself, coaching yourself, encouraging yourself, and taking care of yourself. Self-care is key.