What are some ways to identify others' emotions during a negotiation using EI?

1 Observe verbal cues

Verbal cues are the words and tone that people use to express their emotions. They can reveal how people feel about the issues, the options, and the relationship. To identify others' emotions using EI, you need to listen actively and attentively to their verbal cues, and pay attention to the meaning, intention, and emotion behind them. For example, you can notice if they use positive or negative words, if they speak fast or slow, if they ask questions or make statements, if they sound confident or hesitant, and so on. These cues can help you infer their emotional state, their interests, and their concerns.

3 Ask open-ended questions

Open-ended questions are questions that invite people to share more information, opinions, or feelings, rather than yes or no answers. They can help you elicit more verbal and non-verbal cues from others, and clarify their emotions. To identify others' emotions using EI, you need to ask open-ended questions that are relevant, respectful, and empathetic, and that show your genuine interest and curiosity. For example, you can ask them how they feel about the situation, what they hope to achieve, what they are worried about, what they think of your proposal, and so on. These questions can help you understand their emotional state, their needs, and their expectations.

4 Reflect and paraphrase

Reflecting and paraphrasing are techniques that involve repeating or rephrasing what others have said, in order to show that you have listened and understood them, and to check for accuracy and agreement. They can help you validate and acknowledge their emotions, and build trust and rapport. To identify others' emotions using EI, you need to reflect and paraphrase their verbal and non-verbal cues, and use emotional labels to name their emotions. For example, you can say something like "It sounds like you are frustrated with the current situation, and you are looking for a fair and sustainable solution" or "I can see that you are excited about this opportunity, and you are eager to make it work". These statements can help you confirm or correct their emotional state, their motivations, and their goals.

5 Use emotional contagion

Emotional contagion is the phenomenon of transferring or mirroring emotions from one person to another, through verbal and non-verbal cues. It can help you influence and persuade others, and create a positive emotional climate. To identify others' emotions using EI, you need to use emotional contagion strategically, and adapt your emotions and cues to theirs, or to the desired outcome. For example, you can match their tone, pace, and volume, or their gestures, expressions, and eye contact, to show alignment and rapport, or you can use positive emotions, such as enthusiasm, optimism, or gratitude, to inspire and motivate them. These actions can help you affect their emotional state, their attitude, and their behavior.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?