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What are some effective ways to validate your client's emotions?

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Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own and others' emotions, and to use them effectively in different situations. One of the key aspects of emotional intelligence is validation, which is the process of acknowledging, accepting, and expressing empathy for someone's feelings. Validation can help you build trust, rapport, and connection with your clients, as well as reduce their distress, frustration, and defensiveness. In this article, we will explore some effective ways to validate your client's emotions and how they can benefit your relationship and outcome.

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1 Why validation matters

Validation is not only a polite and respectful way to communicate, but also a powerful tool to enhance your client's emotional well-being and motivation. When you validate your client's emotions, you show that you care, that you listen, and that you understand their perspective. You also help them feel less alone, less ashamed, and less overwhelmed by their emotions. Validation can also reduce the need for your client to justify, defend, or explain their feelings, and instead, encourage them to explore and process them more deeply. By validating your client's emotions, you create a safe and supportive space for them to open up, express themselves, and collaborate with you.

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2 How to recognize emotions

The first step to validate your client's emotions is to recognize them. This means paying attention to their verbal and non-verbal cues, such as their tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, and words. You can also ask open-ended questions to elicit more information about their feelings, such as "How do you feel about that?" or "What was going on for you in that situation?" You can also use reflective listening to paraphrase or summarize what your client has said, and check for accuracy and understanding. For example, "It sounds like you are feeling angry and hurt by what your boss said to you."

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3 How to acknowledge emotions

The next step to validate your client's emotions is to acknowledge them. This means naming and labeling the emotions that your client is experiencing, and showing that you accept them as valid and reasonable. You can use statements like "I can see that you are feeling..." or "It makes sense that you would feel..." to acknowledge your client's emotions. You can also use affirmations to praise your client's strengths, efforts, or achievements, such as "You are doing a great job coping with this stress" or "You have shown a lot of courage and resilience in this situation."

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Cindy Shaw

Empowering Wellness: Offering Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness, and Personal Development Talks to Elevate Productivity and Workplace Well-being
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99% of the time, when you acknowledge and validate another's emotions it diffuses the situation immediately. You are creating a safe space for someone to be vulnerable and authentic and that is very powerful in professional and personal relationships. Sometimes it might even be appropriate to share a personal story that you've experienced where you have been in that situation before. It can help your client see that you truly understand where he/she is coming from.

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4 How to express empathy

The final step to validate your client's emotions is to express empathy. This means showing that you care about your client's feelings, that you can relate to them, and that you support them. You can use statements like "I'm sorry that you are going through this" or "I can imagine how hard this must be for you" to express empathy. You can also use gestures like nodding, smiling, or touching (if appropriate) to convey warmth and compassion. You can also offer help or advice (if asked) to show that you are on your client's side and that you want to help them overcome their challenges.

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5 How to avoid invalidation

Validation can have many positive effects on your client's emotions, while invalidation can have the opposite. Invalidation is the process of dismissing, rejecting, or minimizing someone's feelings, which can be damaging to self-esteem, confidence, and trust. Examples of invalidation include telling your client to cheer up, calm down, or get over it; comparing their feelings to others or yourself; judging, criticizing, or blaming them for their feelings; interrupting them when they express their feelings; and giving unsolicited advice, solutions, or opinions without acknowledging their feelings. To avoid invalidation, be mindful of reactions and biases and focus on listening and understanding your client's feelings instead of fixing or changing them.

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Cindy Shaw

Empowering Wellness: Offering Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness, and Personal Development Talks to Elevate Productivity and Workplace Well-being
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Another way to avoid invalidation and show your client that you see his/her perspective and respect how he/her is feeling is active communication. When your client shares thoughts and feelings, your first response should be to mirror back what you think you heard with an understanding attitude. This helps both of you stay on track with the topic at hand and allows the client to feel seen and heard. If you are trying to figure out what to say next, you are not actually present and hearing what your client is saying. If you respond with what you've formulated in your head, oftentimes, it comes from a place of defense which is going to further upset your client. Practice listening with humility and the conversation will go much better.

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6 How to practice validation

Validation is a skill that can be honed with practice. To help you, here are some tips: be genuine and sincere in your validation, as your client will sense any fakeness or exaggeration. Also, be curious and open-minded - don't assume you know what your client is feeling or why. Additionally, be flexible and adaptable - don't stick to one formula or method of validation, instead adjust to the context, situation, and individual needs of your client. Lastly, be respectful and supportive - don't use validation as a way to manipulate or influence your client; use it to empower, encourage, and inspire them.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Mercedes Kweh PhD

CEO; Founder | Pioneering Exosome Biotherapeutics
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I have identified five strategies to effectively interact with difficult or demanding clients in order to validate their emotions and make them feel heard. 1. Acknowledge the client's emotions by repeating back to them what they have said and expressing understanding. 2. Show that you understand their feelings by expressing empathy such as, “I can understand why that would be upsetting” or “That must be really difficult for you.” 3. Ask questions that encourage the client to open up and talk about how they are feeling. 4. Suggest potential solutions that could help address the client’s problem. 5. Show appreciation for the client’s feedback and thank them for taking the time to talk to you.

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What are some effective ways to validate your client's emotions?

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3

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1 Why validation matters

2 How to recognize emotions

3 How to acknowledge emotions

4 How to express empathy

5 How to avoid invalidation

6 How to practice validation

7 Here’s what else to consider

Emotional Intelligence

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What are some effective ways to validate your client's emotions?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Why validation matters

2 How to recognize emotions

3 How to acknowledge emotions

4 How to express empathy

5 How to avoid invalidation

6 How to practice validation

7 Here’s what else to consider

Emotional Intelligence

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