What are some effective ways to use mirroring to build rapport with a new contact?

1 Why mirroring works

Mirroring works because it taps into the human tendency to feel more comfortable and connected with people who are similar to us. When you mirror someone, you signal that you are paying attention, that you respect their point of view, and that you share some common ground. This can make the other person feel more valued, accepted, and confident in your interaction. Mirroring can also reduce conflict, increase cooperation, and enhance persuasion.

2 How to mirror body language

Body language is one of the most important aspects of mirroring, as it conveys a lot of nonverbal information and emotions. To mirror body language, you need to observe the other person's posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye contact, and then match them with your own. For example, if they lean forward, you lean forward; if they smile, you smile; if they cross their arms, you cross your arms. However, you should avoid copying every move, as that can seem unnatural and creepy. Instead, you should mirror selectively, subtly, and with a slight delay.

4 How to mirror language and words

Language and words are the final component of mirroring, as they convey the meaning, logic, and style of the message. To mirror language and words, you need to pay attention to the other person's choice of words, phrases, metaphors, and jargon, and then use them in your own speech. For example, if they use technical terms, you use technical terms; if they use casual slang, you use casual slang; if they use a specific analogy, you use the same analogy. However, you should avoid repeating their exact sentences, as that can seem parroting and annoying. Instead, you should mirror strategically, creatively, and with a slight twist.

5 How to avoid over-mirroring

Over-mirroring is when you reflect too much, too often, or too obviously, and it can have a negative effect on your rapport-building efforts. It can make you seem insincere, manipulative, or insecure, and it can cause the other person to be annoyed or offended. To avoid over-mirroring, it is important to keep some basic guidelines in mind. Don’t mirror everything; instead, focus on the most relevant and impactful aspects of the other person’s behavior and mirror them sparingly and selectively. Additionally, don’t mirror immediately; wait a few seconds or minutes before mirroring and do so with a slight difference or variation. Furthermore, be aware of the context, purpose, and effect of your mirroring and adjust accordingly. For example, don’t mirror negative or inappropriate behaviors. Finally, observe the other person’s reaction to your mirroring to determine if they respond positively or negatively; if they seem to like it, continue; if they seem to dislike it, stop or change.

6 How to practice mirroring

Mirroring is a skill that can be improved with practice and feedback. To hone your mirroring abilities, start with people you know and trust, such as friends, family, or colleagues. Ask for their honest feedback after attempting to mirror their behavior in casual conversation. Additionally, observe how successful salespeople, negotiators, or leaders mirror their clients, partners, or followers to achieve desired results. Experiment with different types of mirroring, including body language, tone, voice, language, and words. Record and review your own mirroring attempts to analyze your strengths and weaknesses. When used correctly and authentically, mirroring can help you build rapport with a new contact in a business context by showing them that you are interested and similar to them. With practice and feedback, you can become a more effective and persuasive communicator.