What are some effective ways to communicate with empathy and assertiveness?

Empathy is the ability to answer 3 important questions 1) Can I understand what you are feeling? 2) Can I understand why you are feeling this way? 3) Can I support those feelings with compassion and real helpful action?

Fostering an environment of collaboration and cooperation is an essential element of team-building. Through empathetic leadership a group of individuals inherently recognizes their collective strengths and comes together as team through a common purpose.

Here are some reasons why empathy is important: Connection: When we empathize with others, we create a sense of connection and understanding. Conflict resolution: Empathy can help us resolve conflicts and misunderstandings. When we understand the other person's perspective, we can work together to find a mutually beneficial solution. Improved communication: When we listen to others and understand their point of view, we can respond in a way that is more meaningful and respectful. Increased emotional intelligence: Empathy is a key component of emotional intelligence. People with high emotional intelligence are better equipped to navigate complex social situations and build strong relationships.

Empathy is a foundation for building trust. In order for communication to be effective, there needs to be a foundation of trust that is established that provides the feeling that the information is coming from a trusted source.

Being empathetic is to truly put yourself in someone else's shoes to listen to them and connect without judging. Empathy leads to building deeper connections and relationships.

Women have to work extra hard at this skill. We're not socialized to be assertive, but when we are, we're labeled as "Karens." Our challenge is twofold: 1.) We have to develop ourselves to become assertive and 2.) Society needs to allow space for women to assert themselves without fear of punishment.

Assertiveness in the workplace, in some respects, has negative connotations when in essence, it is knowledge of oneself without apology. You can be a kind and caring individual and still be assertive.

I think assertiveness depends on your personality type. One person may need to get that they matter (like, deep in their bones). That what they have to say matters. Another may need to get over their fear of vulnerability in speaking up. Someone else may need to realize that they need to consider their own needs, not just the needs of others. To me, assertiveness is not a one-size-fits-all technique. True assertiveness comes from seeing through the illusion of brokenness that comes from identifying with our ego. True assertiveness is a natural expression of being Who We Really Are.

Assertiveness also requires self-compassion and empathy. It's important to remember that everyone has different perspectives, experiences, and feelings. Being assertive does not mean you need to be unkind or insensitive—it means that you are willing to express your thoughts and feelings openly and honestly. This can help create an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding. It's important to remember that you can be both kind and direct simultaneously. Being mindful of the other person's feelings while clearly expressing your views can help set healthy boundaries in relationships.

Being assertive without being rude is such a great skill to have. Asserting yourself is setting standards for others to follow. It is a way to teach others how they treat you. When you are asserting yourself you are in no way being rude and disrespectful to others, you are simply setting healthy boundaries and expectations.

Being aware of our own biases is also key. They are often somewhere looming just beneath the surface. When we operate with a bias, we create assumptions that can get in the way of experiencing connected empathy. Additionally, with increasing cultural diversity within communities and workplaces, we can also become more conversant with other cultures that we interact with. This means becoming proactively informed around specific traditions or behaviors that are accepted and frowned upon in other countries. While we don't need to understand every nuance of a person's culture, it can impact our ability to empathize. For example, experiencing shame can appear at a whole other level in other countries than our own.

A vital component of humanizing the workplace is communicating with empathy. Leaders can better understand their teams’ viewpoints, feelings and motivations by listening without judgment and being respectful. After processing information, speaking in a mindful manner helps ensure clear, concise communication. Empathy is a soft skill that sets individuals apart; continuous improvement in this area allows us to level up our emotional intelligence.

See my answer above regarding empathy!?? Communicating with empathy, to me, is about realizing that what we share with another is far greater than what appears to separate us. It's a natural function of operating more from our True Self rather than the limiting beliefs of our ego.

Empathetic listening requires using all of your senses to pick up non-verbal cues. Part of listening is also asking curiosity-driven questions that provide a gateway to a greater understanding of the person with whom you are engaging.

Some personality types are more naturally assertive than others, though all have the potential to be assertive in our own way. To discover what real assertiveness looks like for you, just learn what may be holding you back. Is it fear? A sense of unworthiness? Do you feel that you may be too angry to speak calmly? Get to know yourself better and your natural style of assertiveness will begin to shine through!

These are indeed some of the most effective ways of being assertive, making your voice heard, participating in the decisions and getting the due credit. In addition to everything above, another useful approach that I have observed at work and in personal life is to "address the fact or the issue, instead of addressing person". Put the focus on the topic at hand, use the facts and perspectives surrounding the issue and try to keep the person and the judgements out of the discussion. This helps avoid confrontations, blames and accusations. One of the shorthand ways to achieve this is try your best to not ask your first question as "who", instead ask "what or why"?

Eye contact is so important and many times people overlook this. Maintaining eye contact will 100% make you more assertive and also showcase confidence.

Why do you have to balance them? ?? Be fully empathetic. See the other person as a human being with genuine concerns. Be fully assertive. Say what you mean and mean what you say. I don't see a conflict between empathy and assertiveness at all.

Would you rather be liked or respected? When I speak to groups of aspiring leaders, I often ask this question. The answer's always the same:?respected. And yet… Amy Cuddy & co-authors wrote for HBR: “When we judge others—especially our leaders—we look first at two characteristics: how lovable they are (their?warmth, communion or trustworthiness) and how fearsome they are (their?strength, agency or competence).” It takes warmth & authority (or warmthority!) A person who is warm but lacks authority is a pushover. If you're all authority/no warmth, you'll squash others’ creativity & self-reliance. Connect before you collaborate. Listen before you lead. Partner before you persuade. Is it better to be liked or respected? Answer: You need both.

This is the key to having both your empathy and assertiveness received. It is important to listen for verbal and nonverbal ques from your audience on determining the best model/style to approach with in order for it to be received correctly. Empathy can be mistaken for sympathy or pity. While assertiveness can be mistaken for aggression or controlling.

Empathy and assertiveness are essential in striking a balance in communication. Empathy lets us understand others' feelings and perspectives, ensuring we don't walk on them. Assertiveness, on the other hand, safeguards against being stepped on by expressing our needs and opinions respectfully. By integrating both, we foster effective communication that upholds personal boundaries and enhances understanding. This harmonious combination nurtures relationships, career success, and overall happiness while minimizing conflicts and misinterpretations. Ultimately, the fusion of empathy and assertiveness leads to personal growth and more rewarding interactions.

I'm a fan of Kim Scott's Radical Candor model, which encourages people to be kind as well as clear in their communication. This does not mean you should not challenge others - you absolutely should. You just need to do it in the right way. If people understand that your feedback is meant to be constructive, they will appreciate that you cared enough to help them improve (although sometimes not in the moment!). Empathy and kindness go hand in hand, and while assertiveness often gets a bad rap, speaking up while being clear and direct always builds trust. Give it a try!

Practice makes...permanent - the habits, the attitudes and beliefs. So keep practising to progress your skills. Keep asking for feedback on finding that right balance. Once you have mastered the emotional aspect of empathy and combine it with the strategic tactics of assertiveness, it will become second nature to you and you can keep honing it.

Empathy for ourselves is also key here: When we remember that we deserve advocates, we can speak up about personal time boundaries, recognition for what we've earned or help meeting our goals. We can be better at balancing empathy & assertiveness with others when we learn to do it for ourselves, first.

Asking for help is never a sign of weakness. I start from there and find ways to upskill myself. I proactively ask for feedback from stakeholders to seek ways to improve. Being empathetic makes you a great communicator where you get to connect with the person on a deeper level.

What I do to practice these skills is to say to myself "in this conversation you will practice being..." Bringing more awareness has helped me take my communication skills to the next level.