What are some common pitfalls to avoid when receiving constructive criticism?

When I receive any type of constructive feedback, I focus on the desired outcome and goal rather than how I "feel" about it. My work output is independent from my personality and if applying the feedback gets me closer to achieving that outcome and goal, that's what it takes. Of course it is easy to be defensive, but if you continue to protect what you produce, then you'll only stay stagnant. In order to grow, you need to be open to new perspectives from people with different expertises that could advance you to that next level that you haven't yet reached. True mentors want you to grow, but you also have to want to do that too.

My first step is to close my mouth and open my ears. I approach it with a 100% receive feedback mode and I can ponder the quality of the feedback at a later time. If someone is giving me constructive feedback, I take it as a gift. It’s an outside perspective on my performance and I leverage that to improve.

You may find yourself placed into the 'unpopular' corner by bosses, colleagues, or frenemies for reasons unrelated to you except for your existence. Even so, take heart. Because if you can derive positive life change and impactful actions from these moments, you will become better as a person and even more productive with your time. And if this is true for those who don't like you, it is even truer when we receive feedback from an ally, friend, or life partner. D0c

Feedback is a view or opinion another has on you! We have the freedom to choose what we do with that information and sometimes, just sometimes you can choose to ignore the feedback. It very much depends on how the feedback is being delivered. I experienced a very ego based feedback and it was clear it was very much about the personal providing it and not to support my personal growth. Guess what, I binned it. A month later I received feedback from another person and it focused on my personal growth as the dissected the feedback and provided me with tools and frameworks to support me. Wow, what a difference that made to me and my career. It’s not what someone said or did, it’s how they made you feel that helps what you do with feedback.

It is a business environment where mutual respect and professionalism are cornerstones of engagement. Constructive criticism is a product of quality control and organisational brand management, where it is properly deployed, it is very powerful tool for ensuring that employees and systems produce desired results. With these in mind, it would be incorrect to take such a response to a latent or patent indiscretion personally in a work environment, it is always counterproductive, breeds workplace tension and will undermine the efficiency of the team in particular and the organisation as a whole.

Not everyone can process feedback right away and if you are pushed to do so, you may find yourself rejecting it because that is the easiest option. Make sure you have the time you need, let your mentor know what time this is and agree when to jointly explore the feedback further. Remember that the feedback is delivered with your best interests at heart; however, you can choose to reject it. It is their perspective and therefore has validity but it is your choice on how to respond. Whatever you decide, make sure it is a conscious decision. Evaluate and question the feedback and your reaction to it. Consider both what it means to you to take it on board and to reject it. And remember, you can accept some, none, or all!

Again, this is a time to be in full receiver mode. To me it’s all about perspective. Is this an opportunity to learn or a moment to battle? Growth and my curiosity to learn usually makes this an opportunity to develop myself. However, life isn’t perfect and sometimes it’s natural to get defensive. I attempt to mitigate those emotions by being curious to learn more about myself through someone else’s eyes.

One of the benefits of being an effective mentee is to remain "open-minded"-being open to observations from your mentor. This includes positive feedback and constructive criticism. Getting honest feedback from a more advanced professional can help mentees identify their strengths and focus on developing their weaknesses.

The success of some leaders who make assumptions has more to do with those they surround themselves with those who don't make those assumptions. Those who don't make assumptions ask questions with a sincere desire for complete understanding and internally set aside the petty differences and intermural politics that often beset teams with drama, cliques, and other dysfunctions of a team. Because the mission is not always what one thinks it is, but it is certainly about what the team knows the mission to be.

Before rejecting any feedback, it’s always useful to see what space this is coming from. Sometimes how the feedback is delivered forces us to put an armour to stop us from getting hurt. Cortisol levels spike to get us prepared to defend ourselves. It’s worth noting down what has been said and sharing it with a trusted confidant and asking them to translate to something workable. Knowing something that you didn’t know from others expands our space in johari’s window and you begin to learn more about yourself and also others. The new space that is created on the bottom right quadrant helps you have the best dance with others and new ideas and relationships can be formed.

One of the negative outcomes of taking things personally is an aggressive response. Evolutionarily speaking, aggression helped prevent negative outcomes, such as being eaten by a predator. Civilization and workplaces have caused humanity to adapt our outward aggression into the passive-aggressive/Machiavellian antics often seen in imperial court-style intrigue dramas. Before providing feedback, any mentorship program will emphasize the importance of aligning trust with interest. Make sure your team doesn't see you as a predator. Make sure your team believes you have their back before you provide feedback. There is nothing like the heart and soul of a volunteer on a team where trust and interest are aligned. #team #work

Fear is the barrier to stops us from truly embracing an insight. I have always dreaded feedback, this maybe from previous experiences where it has been delivered badly. No one really trains you on how to give feedback, let alone receive it. Learning how to receive feedback is also a skill worth having as you are better able to regulate your emotions and respond to feedback rather than react to it. Your character following feedback should always be aligned to your values and principles.

Many people can’t manage confrontation and the negative emotions and atmosphere that surround it. However, there are circumstances where an employer, team or project lead or even colleague has to engage in critical conversations with a co-worker, and one of the typical responses to such uncomfortable scenarios is passive aggression. It sometimes is born out of suppressed anger or an attempt to look or composed or unperturbed as a way of driving the other party off their rails. It can be quite self defeating in the long run while it maintains hostility in a non-violent manner.

Mentors and mentees share mutual mistakes. For mentors, a common one is when the mentor takes personally that a mentee does not follow up or fails to complete assignments. Mentees say they will do the assignments, but they never do or they miss meeting times. Mentees should not be afraid of having tough conversations with their mentor to communicate what is happening in their lives and if need be, to adjust meeting times or properly postpone or terminate the mentor/mentee relationship. This keeps the feedback loop open. Make a plan to either continue, postpone or terminate, but don't leave it open by ghosting someone.

As a coach, I really focus on goal setting. I use this quote with my coachees. A DREAM written with a date becomes a GOAL. A goal broken down into steps become a PLAN. A plan backed by ACTIONS becomes a REALITY. By NOOR HIBBERT A loaded feedback can create many challenges and sometimes feels like you need a PRINCE 2 qualification to project manage it. You don’t! With the help of a coach, you can begin to take ownership of your goals and energize yourself to achieve more than you thought you could. Coaches have helped me break through barriers I had internally and I have become a stronger person for it. They help you break big goals to small chunks and prepare a map that is easier to navigate.

Action can be the scariest part of progress, yet it is usually the most impactful. Most people following criticism usually miss the main goal: Change in the course of behaviour to achieve a desired result. In fact, the real proof of criticism well taken is appropriate steps taken to correct the default and achieve the required end point.

One thing I've found helpful is to allow the feedback to be completed and you take a deliberate pause before responding. Be sure to have listened to what was shared and that you've processed it fully so that you don't shoot from the hip and misinterpret or reply overly emotionally. It is not easy to give feedback, and you demonstrate how much you value it by clearly considering and reflecting upon it.

I want you to think of a food item you know you should eat but you don't because it is distasteful. Feedback is that food item. And if you are not consuming the recommended daily allowance (RDA) of feedback, you will suffer emotional damage. Your growth as a person will be stunted, and consequently, your relationships with others and colleagues shall suffer. Learn to eat healthy balanced portions of feedback and self-acceptance throughout the day. You will hunger for feedback once you get used to it and wonder how you ever got along without it. #growth

Preparing for giving feedback and receiving it is in part a solution to asking for feedback or giving it. As with any activity we do, if you prepare for it, you become more confident. Preparing to give feedback, means understanding what you are going to say and how you are going to deliver it. Preparing for receiving feedback is how you prepare yourself mentally on what you are likely to hear and how your body responds to it. Knowing that your body will release cortisol and adrenaline which from a Neuro-scientific base is your body preparing itself to a threat. This means that blood is pumped round the system, heart rate is increased, pupils dilate and mind becomes focused. It’s a natural chemical and biological process. Embrace it

Even the best results can be made better in the face of another perspective. Closely linked to taking action is the act of deliberately seeking for areas of improvement or disrupting your best results so that you can produce even better outcomes. This is key indicator for exponential growth, at a personal and professional level.