Conflict is inevitable in any workplace, especially when you are a leader. How you handle it can make a big difference in your team's performance, morale, and trust. In this article, you will learn some of the most effective ways to manage conflict as a leader, based on proven principles and practices.
Before you can resolve a conflict, you need to understand what is causing it. Is it a misunderstanding, a personality clash, a difference of opinion, or a violation of norms? To identify the source, you need to listen actively to both sides, ask open-ended questions, and avoid making assumptions or judgments. By doing this, you can clarify the issue, acknowledge the feelings, and show respect for the perspectives involved.
One thing I have learned myself solving conflicts and difficult situations is besides listening to ?both“ sides: checking on if there are more different point of views and how did the source of the conflict became such a spark. Especially when you want to resolve it in a sustainable way it’s important to listen and to investigate yourself where it came from, otherwise there is a risk that you would follow definitely the wrong path of the solution to the conflict.
Not all conflicts require the same approach. Depending on the situation, you may have to use different strategies to address the problem. Accommodating involves giving in to the other party's wishes, even if it means sacrificing your own interests. Avoiding may be necessary when the issue is trivial or too complex to handle. Collaborating is useful when the issue is important to both parties, and it can help build trust and cooperation. Compromising enables a middle ground that partially meets both expectations, which can be beneficial when the issue is moderately important or when a quick resolution is needed. Finally, competing means asserting your position and trying to win the argument, even if it means hurting the other party; this can be useful when the issue is vital or when you need to protect your rights or values.
As an addition I would add: depending on the conflict it makes often sense to bring both parties on a neutral ground to one table and try to get across the conflict with just starting it off as a kind of small talk, if it’s a heavier conflict which moves in the direction of bullying etc. I would definitely recommend to involve there as well another party (e.g. HR) to have a neutral witness. Otherwise the benefit of ?all at one table“ is that the discussion is witnessed by both parties and no one can blame anything what wasn’t told before.
As a leader, effective communication is essential to resolving any conflict. To ensure successful communication, it's important to use "I" statements instead of "you" statements when expressing your feelings and needs. Additionally, positive and constructive language should be used to focus on the solution rather than the problem. Active listening skills, such as paraphrasing, summarizing, and reflecting, demonstrate understanding and empathy for the other party. Lastly, assertive communication skills should be utilized to state your position clearly, respectfully, and confidently without being aggressive or passive.
The ultimate goal of managing conflict is to find a win-win solution that benefits both parties and the organization. Such a solution should address the underlying needs and interests of both parties, create value and synergy, foster mutual respect and trust, and enhance collaboration and innovation. To seek a win-win solution, you need to explore the options and alternatives, involve the parties in the decision-making process, negotiate fairly and ethically, and celebrate and appreciate the agreement. Doing so will ensure that everyone can benefit from the outcome of the conflict resolution process.
These statements are absolutely correct from my perspective, but as a kind of detail I would add here that it makes sense with the initial discussion with the individual stakeholder of the conflict: ask what is their point of view of a good and fair solution. People who are in conflicts have often a very strict solution path made up for themselves and for me it always made the most sense to include these paths into the solution or compromise. And this helps as well to get an easier ?buy in“ from the involved parties. One important thing as a resolver is (if you have it) take time to think what would be the most sustainable and best solution on long terms.
Conflict can be a learning opportunity, if you are willing to reflect and grow from it. As a leader, it is important to evaluate the process and outcome of conflicts, as well as seek feedback and input from the parties and other stakeholders. This will help you acknowledge their contributions and concerns, as well as apply the lessons and insights to future situations. Furthermore, developing a culture of constructive conflict can help people disagree respectfully, openly, and creatively.
In my experience, I've come to appreciate that not all conflicts are detrimental; in fact, some can be quite healthy. Numerous studies, such as those highlighted in articles like "The Surprising Benefits of Conflict" (Harvard Business Review, 2017), suggest that allowing conflicts to surface can unveil long-term buried issues within processes. Constructive conflicts can lead to enhanced creativity and innovation within teams. This aligns with my own observations that well-managed conflicts often bring hidden challenges to light, fostering a more refined and resilient working process over the long term.