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What are the most common persuasion pitfalls in a coaching leadership style?

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A coaching leadership style is one that focuses on developing the potential and performance of others through guidance, feedback, and encouragement. It can be a powerful way to motivate and inspire your team, as well as to foster a culture of learning and growth. However, coaching also involves persuasion, which is the art of influencing others to accept your ideas, goals, or actions. Persuasion can be tricky, especially when you want to avoid being pushy, manipulative, or disrespectful. In this article, we will explore some of the most common persuasion pitfalls in a coaching leadership style and how to avoid them.

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Daryl Seager

Helping Ambitious Women in Tech Lead with Confidence & Impact Without Burning Out ????♀? Master Communication, Own…

1 Pitfall 1: Assuming you know what's best

One of the biggest mistakes you can make as a coach is to assume that you know what's best for your coachee, without taking the time to understand their needs, preferences, and goals. This can lead to a mismatch between your expectations and their reality, as well as a loss of trust and rapport. To avoid this pitfall, you need to practice active listening, ask open-ended questions, and empathize with your coachee's perspective. You also need to respect their autonomy and choices, and avoid imposing your own agenda or solutions.

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Daryl Seager

Helping Ambitious Women in Tech Lead with Confidence & Impact Without Burning Out ????♀? Master Communication, Own your Confidence & Thrive in Your Career ?? Real Results ?? No Bullsh*t ????♀? DJ ??
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Although this relates more to business I think it can apply here. A study by Gartner revealed that fostering autonomy can increase performance by up to 20%. So if we are giving coachees more autonomy, this in turn facilitates more growth and development.

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2 Pitfall 2: Overusing logic and facts

Another common persuasion pitfall in a coaching leadership style is to rely too much on logic and facts, without considering the emotional and psychological aspects of your coachee's situation. While logic and facts are important to support your arguments and recommendations, they are not enough to persuade someone who may have different values, beliefs, or feelings. To avoid this pitfall, you need to balance logic and facts with stories, examples, and metaphors that appeal to your coachee's emotions and imagination. You also need to acknowledge and address any objections or concerns they may have, and show how your proposal aligns with their interests and aspirations.

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3 Pitfall 3: Being too direct or aggressive

A third common persuasion pitfall in a coaching leadership style is to be too direct or aggressive in your communication, which can come across as rude, arrogant, or intimidating. This can trigger resistance, defensiveness, or hostility from your coachee, and damage your relationship and credibility. To avoid this pitfall, you need to adopt a more respectful and collaborative tone, and use polite and positive language. You also need to use softeners, qualifiers, and hedges to moderate your statements and suggestions, and avoid absolute or extreme words. For example, instead of saying "You have to do this", you can say "I suggest you try this" or "What do you think about this?"

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Daryl Seager

Helping Ambitious Women in Tech Lead with Confidence & Impact Without Burning Out ????♀? Master Communication, Own your Confidence & Thrive in Your Career ?? Real Results ?? No Bullsh*t ????♀? DJ ??
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I don't get this as a pitfall. If you are behaving that way, you should not be a leader. Direct, yes, aggressive, no. Communication and feedback is two-way street that leads to greater openness and understanding and a deeper relationship.

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4 Pitfall 4: Ignoring feedback and signals

A fourth common persuasion pitfall in a coaching leadership style is to ignore the feedback and signals that your coachee gives you, either verbally or non-verbally. This can make you miss important clues about their level of engagement, agreement, or satisfaction, as well as potential issues or challenges they may face. To avoid this pitfall, you need to pay attention to the feedback and signals that your coachee provides, such as their words, tone, gestures, facial expressions, and body language. You also need to check for understanding, ask for feedback, and confirm agreement regularly, and adjust your approach accordingly.

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5 Pitfall 5: Giving up too soon or too late

A fifth common persuasion pitfall in a coaching leadership style is to give up too soon or too late on your attempts to persuade your coachee. Giving up too soon can make you miss opportunities to overcome barriers, build rapport, and create value. Giving up too late can make you waste time, energy, and resources, and annoy or frustrate your coachee. To avoid this pitfall, you need to have a clear and realistic goal, and a flexible and adaptable strategy. You also need to monitor the progress and outcomes of your persuasion efforts, and know when to persist, change, or stop.

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6 Pitfall 6: Forgetting to follow up

A sixth common persuasion pitfall in a coaching leadership style is to forget to follow up with your coachee after you have persuaded them to accept your idea, goal, or action. This can make you lose the momentum, commitment, and trust that you have built, and jeopardize the success and sustainability of your results. To avoid this pitfall, you need to follow up with your coachee regularly, and provide them with support, feedback, and recognition. You also need to celebrate their achievements, acknowledge their challenges, and help them overcome any obstacles or setbacks.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Daryl Seager

Helping Ambitious Women in Tech Lead with Confidence & Impact Without Burning Out ????♀? Master Communication, Own your Confidence & Thrive in Your Career ?? Real Results ?? No Bullsh*t ????♀? DJ ??
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These 'common' pitfalls concern me and really hope that people take things away from this article in order to do things differently.

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What are the most common persuasion pitfalls in a coaching leadership style?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Pitfall 1: Assuming you know what's best

2 Pitfall 2: Overusing logic and facts

3 Pitfall 3: Being too direct or aggressive

4 Pitfall 4: Ignoring feedback and signals

5 Pitfall 5: Giving up too soon or too late

6 Pitfall 6: Forgetting to follow up

7 Here’s what else to consider

Interpersonal Skills

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What are the most common persuasion pitfalls in a coaching leadership style?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Pitfall 1: Assuming you know what's best

2 Pitfall 2: Overusing logic and facts

3 Pitfall 3: Being too direct or aggressive

4 Pitfall 4: Ignoring feedback and signals

5 Pitfall 5: Giving up too soon or too late

6 Pitfall 6: Forgetting to follow up

7 Here’s what else to consider

Interpersonal Skills

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