What do you do if you're afraid of feedback and missing out on valuable learning opportunities?

En mi experiencia como coach de carrera he observado que la mayoría de las personas que le temen a la retroalimentación perciben el feedback que reciben por parte de otros como algo amenazante con lo que no quieren lidiar. Observando en mayor detalle, me he dado cuenta que significan sus debilidades o áreas de mejora como algo fijo e inamovible, que no pueden cambiar, lo cual explica su temor a la retroalimentación. Si logramos comprender que nuestras áreas mas débiles son trabajables y confiamos en nuestra capacidad de superarlas entenderemos que una retroalimentación, bien dada y bien recibida, traerá de la mano infinitas posibilidades de crecimiento.

I myself have had a love-hate relationship with feedback, due to my ego and also past experience of getting mixed messages and sandwich-type feedback. It is true that unsolicited feedback rather generates anxiety because our mind constantly scans the environment in search of dangers and labels what is new as danger. What can you do: - determine the area you want to grow and learn - establish relevant people for your growth, people that you trust and are experienced and sincere - take initiative and ask for constant and specific feedback from these people - evaluate feedback, take actions and then follow up - apply stop, start continue method to self evaluate and do not forget to enjoy the process and celebrate the wins!

If you're not too keen to hear feedback, consider reframing it by asking yourself, "What if engineers, builders, and doctors never received feedback?" Imagine a world where critical feedback was absent—buildings might be unsafe, medical treatments could be ineffective, and technology would stagnate. Feedback, often mistaken for the answer to a question, especially in nonnative EN speaking environments, isn't just about improvement but is essential for safety, efficiency, and innovation. By viewing feedback as a necessary element that shapes experts and ensures our everyday safety, it becomes less of a personal critique and more of a vital step in our professional and personal growth. Embracing feedback is embracing progress.

Feedback is not the whole truth, and it is not evaluating your intentions. Once you understand that and that feedback is a perception of how you impact others from their point of view, it is easier to accept it. Not all feedback is good. But it always gives important information, either about your performance or about your context and relationships. Listening without reacting, taking notes and reflecting about what does that information teaches you, is a good way to start.

Se você tem medo de receber feedback, é importante entender que esse medo pode estar ligado à forma como você percebe o feedback, muitas vezes visto como uma crítica pessoal, ao invés de uma oportunidade para crescimento e aprendizado. - Prepare-se Emocionalmente - Desenvolva um Plano de A??o - Pratique a Gratid?o

Turn Feedback into Growth: 3 Steps for a Constructive Session 1) PREPARE YOUR QUESTIONS: Before the session, list areas you want to improve. This helps you keep the conversation focused and reduces anxiety. 2) GUIDE THE DISCUSSION: Use your questions to steer the conversation. This ensures you get specific, useful feedback that can really help you. 3) DIG DEEPER FOR CLARITY: When you get feedback, ask for details. If someone suggests improving your presentation skills, find out exactly what aspects—like pacing or visuals—need work. This shows you're eager to learn and gives you actionable insights. ><> Constructive feedback is a two-way street. It's about growing together. <><

Algo que he aprendido en el tiempo es que la retroalimentación es un arte. Supone una preparación, tanto para el que la proporciona como para el que la recibe. Es una situación de cierta incomodidad para ambas partes y, para que cumpla una función constructiva y no "destructiva", como lamentablemente a veces sucede, es algo que no se debe improvisar.

While feedback is a gift, humans are also riddled with bias. Whether you are on the giving or the receiving side of the feedback table, it is essential that feedback is factual. One way that works is pointing to a specific situation where the individual exhibited a particular behaviour. This reduces the risk of conflict and also deepens the receiver's understanding because the feedback is situated in a particular context. As a receiver, if someone gives you feedback (whether positive or negative) without examples, probe further and seek clarity by asking them to provide a situation where you demonstrated a particular behaviour. This weeds out bias and helps you replicate positive behaviour

I believe we are less fearful about receiving feedback than we are about experiencing feedback that is delivered negatively vs. constructively (in a way that is a teaching moment or preserves our dignity/self-respect). While we cannot control the way that feedback is delivered, we can control how we receive it and respond to it. One way to "combat" perceived negative feedback is to actively listen. Once all feedback is delivered, acknowledge your understanding by restating the feedback in a positive context (e.g., "Thank you for letting me know that when I (fill in the blank), this came across as/caused my co-worker to feel (fill in the blank?) This is not what I intended. To remedy this, I will be sure to (fill in the blank).

Put time distance to work. Give your thoughts time. Sleep on it! Use graceful words, when declaring what bothers you. This may be a game changing review. Learning to hear is key. Listen and digest; then, review openly with a sage and conditioned mentor.

Providing feedback is a skill most of us need to hone, especially if it is shared because someone was hurt, angry, or disappointed about something that was said/done/or not done. When this happens, it's best to put distance between feedback received by reflecting. Allow emotions to simmer down so that our intellect can kick in and guide our discussions. Not doing so can exacerbate the situation. Instead, try to recognize/appreciate what it took for others to approach you. Take it to heart and process it in the spirit in which it was given, namely to strengthen our relationship, position us for the next promotion or a job we're targeting, or build a "skill muscle" that we don't have. Listen to feedback with a mindset of gratitude.

Ask for feedback from a mixture of people so you can gain awareness and exposure to some gaps you may have. That's what feedback (input about something you did in the past) is for. It's different than advice (future-oriented) because it has more to do with reflection on your past actions or behavior. If you just gave a presentation, you can ask how you did (that's feedback). Advice would be to ask a colleague for tips on how to adjust your slides to make a better presentation.

I agree that small steps is the way to make any change. One small step you can make in accepting feedback is to start with a trusted co-worker, mentor, boss, or even friend. Ask them to give you feedback. Be sure to have a response like "Thanks, I appreciate the feedback. I'll think about how to apply it." Another way is to visualize asking people for feedback and then responding with the prompt above. Numerous studies show our brains exhibit remarkably similar neural activity when visualizing vs. directly experiencing something, so this is a safe way to practice. Remember that sometimes it is as hard to give feedback as to receive it.

Desde mi punto de vista este enfoque positivo no sólo debe ser por parte de quien la recibe si no que también por parte de quien la proporciona. Cuando se da retroalimentación es recomendable partir destacando los aspectos positivos y logros. Luego, llegado momento de hablar de las áreas de mejora, éstas deben ser transmitidas de manera tal que quede muy claro que la crítica constructiva va hacia actitudes y comportamientos (ej: "cuando haces x necesito que hagas más de y...") pero nunca directo hacia propia la persona que está recibiendo el feedback (ej: "eres una persona muy xx.."), ya que en ese caso puede ser recibido como un ataque personal y estarás anulando sus posibilidades de crecimiento.

Think of an instance wherein you received not so great feedback from someone you value, although it was critical but helped you reflect and grow as a person. Also think about the what will be the downside of not seeking feedback, there might be instances from the past where getting timely and right feedback might have made a difference between successful and unsuccessful outcomes. Such reflections will help you understand the importance of seeking feedback. While one may not always get feedback that sounds nice and reinforces our beliefs and actions. Feedback is important to learn aspects about ourselves that are hidden from us and also increase our self awareness.

La retroalimentación nutre nuestro nivel de enfoque y sobre todo si abrimos la conciencia; es decir vamos a visualizar a través de la retroalimentación aspectos desconocidos que pueden en un principio abrir nuestro espectro de defensa a la critica pero brindarán apoyo y seguridad a nuestra experiencia si aceptamos abrir el canal de la comunicación.

If you're hesitant about receiving feedback but eager to learn, establish a structured feedback framework. For instance, to enhance your presentation skills, ask, 'Could you provide specific suggestions to improve my public speaking and engagement?' Clearly define the expected feedback format. Prepare language to handle unsolicited feedback gracefully, such as, 'I appreciate your input, but let’s schedule a specific time to discuss this feedback.' Request that feedback be constructive and focus on actionable insights. Taking ownership of the communication protocol is crucial; it keeps you confident and empowers you to manage feedback proactively, preventing negative experiences.

I recall a performance evaluation I received many years ago. An HR VP spent 50 minutes acknowledging my contributions/wins/exemplary handling of issues, etc. She then spent 5 minutes identifying a situation in which I faltered and explained how I could have had a better outcome. I felt compelled to explain why I acted as I did, and came across as defensive. She stopped me and asked, "Do you realize that while the vast majority of your review was spent discussing all of your positives, and only 5 minutes on an area you can improve upon, all you reacted to (heard) was the last 5 minutes?" What a worthwhile lesson! Put the feedback into perspective, recognize the proportion of positive accolades, and invest energy into converting the rest.

Seek feedback first from a someone within your network that you trust to be wise and constructive. Feedback from someone without having rapport first can feel harsh, especially for someone who generally struggles with receiving feedback altogether.

External loads (actions of other bodies) that act on buildings cause internal forces (forces and couples by the rest of the structure) in building support structures. Supports can be either at the end or at any intermediate point along a structural member or a constituent part of a building and they are referred to as connections, joints or restraints.[1]

There is the saying coaches need coaches. We all need support. Try to find your own trusted advisor or team that assists you with your own growth. Someone who is in the field that is doing what you are that you can bounce ideas off of- they may help elevate you in ways you can't for yourself. They can also help you trouble shoot by sharing similar experiences and how they coped, what questions they asked or how they modified to handle the situation. We are not meant to have it all figured out all the time and by having someone who can encourage us helps us see things from a new perspective.

Seeking a 360 degree feedback opens up the room for learning opportunities. For some people it is very hard for them to assess their skills and capabilities. So gaining insights from others would broaden the horizon and reveal some blind spots for such individuals. In other occasions, spending a long time at the same place or with the same manager would decrease the opportunities for a feedback that makes a difference into the development plan. And this could be compensated by the feedback of colleagues, stakeholders, and subordinates.

Para melhorar a abertura para feedbacks quando se tem receio dessa ferramenta, é fundamental reconhecer que o feedback é uma oportunidade de crescimento e aprendizado. Uma maneira de trabalhar essa abertura é praticar a escuta ativa, focando em compreender as perspectivas dos outros sem defensividade. A ferramenta de coaching "Modelo de Feedback SBI" pode ser útil. Ele consiste em descrever a Situa??o específica, o Comportamento observado e seu Impacto, permitindo uma comunica??o clara e construtiva. Isso ajuda a separar a crítica do indivíduo, tornando mais fácil aceitar feedbacks sem se sentir pessoalmente atacado.

It's also valuable to explore the underlying reasons why feedback might be intimidating. Ask yourself: What about the feedback incites fear? Are these feelings based on past experiences? These self-reflections can uncover deep-seated beliefs you might have about criticism and how it influences your self-worth. It's okay to take time and introspect, as self-awareness is the first step towards overcoming any fear.