What do you do if your project team members are resistant to constructive feedback during coaching sessions?

Knowing "WHY" can help you know "HOW" to solve it. Focus on building a healthy workplace and clear communication so the team can share their concerns clearly and without any fear. Know the root cause by having conversations with them, collecting feedback, and actively listening to figure out the way to solve the problem.

When project team members resist constructive feedback during coaching sessions: Understand the root cause of resistance. Build trust and rapport. Provide clear context for feedback. Focus on specific behaviors. Use the SBI model for feedback. Encourage self-reflection. Highlight strengths and progress. Offer support and resources. Follow up and reinforce feedback. Be patient and persistent in fostering growth.

Foster a supportive setting and emphasize that feedback is about progress, not criticism. Provide clear, constructive advice without sounding judgmental. Promote open communication and offer personalized coaching to tackle areas needing improvement. Consistent engagement and trust-building activities enhance receptivity to feedback.

For me it is also about asking people (at the beginning of the process even better) how they like to receive feedback, and what is the balance between support and challenge they like/need. I would then try to do some self-reflection: what is going on for me when coachees are resistant to my feedback? How does that get in the way of the work?

If your team members are resistant to constructive feedback during coaching sessions, you are not coaching properly. Coaching involves guidance, getting someone to realise their own strengths and weaknesses - not by pointing them out. As a Mentor you can be more direct, but in Business Coaching empathy, listening and understanding are critical. If they are not responding to you, then you are the problem.

When you notice the resistance, it's a good time to take a pause. A simple 1-2 beat can be enough. It can help your brain switch from reactive to proactive. Open you up to listening instead of telling. A good coach will pause and acknowledge what was said. It's not about agreeing or disagreeing. It's about recognizing the other person has feelings. Feelings that are real to them even if no one else is having them. A simple "That does feel heavy the way you are describing it." It's vital for them to know they are heard, not discarded. From there, asking questions to learn more of their POV is helpful. Think about asking questions that get the person to think. Often they start to see there is another POV.

Feedback should be discussed at the contracting phase and never come as a surprise. Clarity from the get-go is crucial. I would also ask for permission to give feedback to make sure the coachee is in the right space to receive it.

When we have an understanding of the process, we feel like we have a road map. It feels safer than being dumped int he middle of nowhere without a compass. Before starting the conversation, review, discussion, it's a good idea to agree on the agenda, the purpose, the reason, and the next steps after the meeting. This is the road map that helps everyone to stay on course. It's easy to take detours when no-one understands the process or purpose. Setting clear expectations can help create a safe space.

A great question, that isn't asked often enough is: "What does success looks like for this project?" Asking this question as a project is starting is a great way to get clarity on expectations. It also offers an opportunity to share your expectations as a manager or project lead. Future feedback conversations tend to go much more smoothly if you can refer back to the expectations that you mutually aligned on.

One way to show support is to shift comments to the product, project, process (whatever the discussion is about). This can show that you are trying to make it better, and not trying to point fingers at team members. Ask questions and listen to what the team members think. Give them space to share ideas, edits, suggestions without fear of being laughed at or told that's wrong. Often the wrong idea becomes a springboard for the right idea. Add fun when possible. Smiles, laughter, and humor can help relax everyone and elevate stress. And when you team is more relaxed, you are going to get the best results from them.

Early in my management career, I had a team member who consistently shut down during feedback sessions. I knew I needed to build trust. Here's what I did: Focused on small wins: Instead of tackling big issues right away, I started with acknowledging her strengths and small improvements. This helped create a positive atmosphere. Actively listened: I gave her space to express her concerns. Sometimes, resistance stems from feeling unheard or misunderstood. By actively listening, I showed her I valued her perspective and was open to a two-way dialogue. Focused on "we" instead of "you": Phrasing feedback as a collaborative effort ("How can we approach this differently?") made it less accusatory and encouraged her to be part of the solution.

Feedback is most effective when it's a two-way street. Invite team members to give you feedback on your performance, be open to what they say, and take action to improve. This is also a way you can model the response you'd like to receive during coaching sessions.

If you are the team leader, ask how you can be a better leader. Often your team will be able to spot bottle necks that you don't see because their point of view is different. You can be the final decision maker, but when you let your team join in without fear, you will go further. Make a regular practice of asking how the process could improve or where it is challenging. This can be in a group setting or 1-1. I always remind myself that we are all experts and beginners at the same time. No matter your ranking at a company, you can learn from everyone else there.

Hold a conversation about the importance and purpose of feedback. I find that in these circumstances the people aren't connected to the bigger purpose of the outcome; maybe it's not clear. Then, linking the purpose of feedback to the purpose of the project, and that of the organisation... that's when feedback becomes great... rather than 'negative', 'positive' or 'constructive'.