What do you do if your performance evaluations are hindering your professional relationships?

1 Understand the purpose and criteria

Before you participate in a performance evaluation, whether as an evaluator or an evaluatee, make sure you understand the purpose and criteria of the process. What are the objectives, standards, and indicators of performance? How are they aligned with the organizational mission, vision, and values? How are they measured and documented? How are they communicated and feedbacked? Knowing the answers to these questions can help you prepare, perform, and respond effectively and confidently.

2 Be honest and respectful

Honesty and respect are key to building trust and rapport in any relationship, and performance evaluations are no exception. As an evaluator, you should provide accurate, relevant, and constructive feedback that highlights both the achievements and the areas for improvement of your employees. Avoid personal biases, vague statements, or harsh criticisms that can undermine their motivation and self-esteem. As an evaluatee, you should accept the feedback with openness and gratitude, acknowledge your accomplishments and challenges, and express your concerns or disagreements politely and professionally.

3 Seek and offer support

Performance evaluations are not meant to be one-sided or one-time events, but rather opportunities for continuous learning and development. As an evaluator, you should seek and offer support to your employees throughout the evaluation cycle, by setting clear expectations, providing regular guidance, facilitating resources, and recognizing efforts. As an evaluatee, you should seek and offer support to your evaluator and your peers, by asking for clarification, feedback, or assistance, sharing your insights, experiences, or suggestions, and collaborating on common goals.

4 Address conflicts constructively

Despite your best efforts, conflicts may still arise during or after performance evaluations, due to different perceptions, expectations, or interests. Instead of ignoring or escalating them, you should address them constructively, by following these steps: 1) Identify the source and nature of the conflict; 2) Listen actively and empathetically to the other party's perspective; 3) Express your own perspective calmly and respectfully; 4) Seek common ground and mutual benefits; 5) Negotiate a fair and feasible solution; 6) Implement and monitor the solution.

5 Reflect and improve

Performance evaluations are not only about assessing the past, but also about planning for the future. As an evaluator or an evaluatee, you should reflect on the outcomes and feedback of the evaluation, and identify the strengths and weaknesses of the process and the performance. Based on your reflection, you should set realistic and specific goals for improvement, and design and implement action plans to achieve them. You should also review and update your goals and plans periodically, and celebrate your progress and achievements.

6 Learn from others

One of the best ways to enhance your performance evaluation skills and relationships is to learn from others who have more experience, expertise, or insight. You can seek mentors, coaches, or peers who can offer you advice, guidance, or feedback on how to conduct or participate in performance evaluations effectively and positively. You can also join professional networks, communities, or associations that can provide you with resources, training, or opportunities to exchange best practices, lessons learned, or challenges faced in performance evaluations.