What do you do if your mentee is resistant to feedback?

Approach with empathy and encourage a growth mindset, for "Iron sharpens iron," and constructive feedback is the whetstone of personal development. Remember, "Feedback is the breakfast of champions"; it nourishes improvement.

Here are some suggestions: > Provide a supportive environment where they feel safe to express their concerns. > Listen actively to understand the root of their resistance, acknowledging their perspective without judgment. > Highlight the benefits of constructive feedback and how it's crucial for personal and professional growth, emphasising that it's a two-way street. > Encourage them to embrace a growth mindset; and a mindset of continuous learning and development. > Offer specific examples and actionable suggestions for improvement. > Encourage incremental changes.

Listen to the person because people are not generally just resistant to feedback. You have to start by building rapport with the person. The first step to being to give and receive feedback is build trust between you and the mentee. Be open to them offering you feedback as well.

1.Establish a trusting relationship with your mentee is essential in order for them to be open to receiving feedback 2. Instead of giving direct feedback, try using a coaching approach to guide your mentee towards self-discovery 3. Acknowledge their feelings and listen empathetically to their concerns and try to understand where they are coming from 4. Provide specific and actionable feedback 5. Encourage your mentee to adopt a growth mindset, where they see feedback as an opportunity for learning and growth 6. Changing mindset and behavior takes time, so be patient with your mentee and continue to offer feedback and support regularly.

Dealing with resistance to feedback is a common challenge faced by coaches and mentors. When a mentee is resistant to feedback, it can hinder their growth and development. Of the several strategies that a coach can employ to address this issue effectively, the following two will be the key. Build Trust and Rapport: Establishing a trusting relationship is fundamental to effective coaching. Take the time to build rapport with your mentee, demonstrating empathy, understanding, and respect. When mentees feel supported and valued, they are more likely to be open to feedback. Create a Safe Environment: Ensure that the coaching environment is safe and non-judgmental. Focus on psychological safety of the mentee.

I once mentored someone who was resistant to feedback. Instead of pushing harder, I practiced active listening. By asking open-ended questions and showing empathy, I discovered their misconceptions about feedback. I clarified its purpose and benefits, which helped them become more receptive over time. Through patience and understanding, we built a more constructive mentoring relationship.

Active listening plays a pivotal role in effectively addressing resistance from a mentee. When a mentee is resistant to feedback or guidance, active listening can help coaches uncover the underlying reasons for the resistance, build rapport, and facilitate productive dialogue. It could help in the following ways. 1. Demonstrate empathy and understanding 2. Encourages expression of concerns 3. Uncovers root causes 4. Builds rapport and trust 5. Enables collaborative problem solving 6. Promotes self-reflection and awareness

Do you need help with a resistant mentee? Learn how active listening can break down barriers and make feedback more effective. Take the time to understand why your mentee is resistant to feedback. They may have valid concerns or fears that need to be addressed before they are open to feedback. Focus on building a trusting relationship with your mentee. When they trust that your feedback comes from a place of support and care, they may be more open to receiving it. By actively listening to your mentee and building trust, you can help them become more receptive to feedback and support their growth and development.

If the coaching process seems one sided, it is important to step back and practice a little active listening. Allow the mentee to open up and engage with you on their own terms and show you more of themselves. This will help them open up to the process and may give you ideas on how to adjust your coaching and suggestions to make it more valued to the mentee.

If your mentee seems hesitant or unwilling to receive feedback, it could be helpful to reflect on the way you approach them. One approach could be to ask open-ended questions to understand their thoughts and ideas, and to find out if they are seeking your assistance. It's important to remember that not everyone is looking for feedback, and some may simply require your support.

I also find asking powerful questions to your mentee that gets them thinking and reflecting works better than actually directly sharing the feedback per se. Some questions which you can use are:- - So what went well? What do you think you could have done better? - Would you want to consider speaking to XYZ to understand their feedback so you get additional inputs/ insights? - If you get a chance to do this activity again, what would you do differently?

Tailor your feedback to suit your mentee's preferences and communication style. Deliver feedback in a constructive and supportive manner, emphasizing strengths and areas for improvement while highlighting the benefits of receiving feedback for their personal and professional growth.

An example I have of this was becoming a young leader in the infantry. Not all soldiers would respond them same to feed back. Some may only listen if you yell or make them push, some listen and learn best with a calm approach to the subject. Everyone is different in their ways of life and living in our own worlds. We get caught up in our own lives and ways of doing business that we forget not everyone learns or reacts the same way we do.

When we give feedback, we're ultimately providing it from our own lens which has it's own bias as well. We can provide the feedback and share the impacts of what they're doing, but it is their responsibility to accept or reject the feedback. This is where we can ask questions to encourage reflection. Asking questions like "what's coming up for you", "if this were only 10% true, what might you want to do with it?", or "what do you want to do with this feedback?" can help the mentee think deeply about the feedback and decide what they want to do moving forward. We can't hold people accountable, they need to do that for themselves.

In my extensive mentoring experience with young adults and budding leaders, I've found sharing my own personal stories of how constructive feedback shared with me has helped me grow and get better always helps. It sets the tone that you as a mentor too had received constructive feedback which you worked on and it helps your mentee also adopt a similar approach.

If feedback is not well received it can have multiple reasons. The most common ones are that the feedback is inadequate, the mentee is not ready, or it's poorly formulated. When the mentee rejects the feedback, the mentor should ask why. Often, the mentor thinks that the mentee has done the work and is at a stage to receive feedback, which is not the case, hence the rejection. A good strategy is to first offer support for the steps to work on, and simply ask the mentee, if they are ready for feedback or not.

It's important to provide support if your mentee is resistant to feedback. It is important to create a safe and nonjudgmental environment where you feel comfortable sharing your concerns and fears when receiving feedback. Also, providing guidelines for how to receive and manage feedback will help them be more open to constructive criticism over time. Patience and compassion are key when you are dealing with resistance feedback.

While feedback is always perceived with a negative lens, a few things to help set the boundaries would be discussing this at the outset with understanding and acknowledging what this relationship of a mentor- mentee is and how’s it’s designed to work. This includes the critical aspect of feedback. Having said that , the role of the mentor should be to stay consistent with feedback through the process - and feedback should be both appreciation and areas of improvement. This will help build the muscle to receive feedback and take it on board.

An(other) approach could be to frame feedback as a two-way conversation rather than a one-sided critique. Ask the mentee for their perspective on the situation and listen actively to their thoughts and concerns. Use questioning techniques to guide them towards self-reflection and encourage them to identify areas for improvement on their own. This way, they may be more open to receiving feedback when they feel they have been involved in the process.

When encountering a mentee resistant to feedback, it's crucial to foster a supportive environment built on trust. Understand the root cause of their resistance, provide context for feedback, and emphasize strengths while addressing areas for improvement. Encourage self-reflection, offer guidance, and lead by example in receiving feedback yourself. Patience and persistence are key as you work to shift their perspective and promote a culture of growth and learning within the mentoring relationship.

Explore the root causes of your mentee's resistance to feedback, such as past experiences, fear of failure, or lack of confidence. Offer role-playing exercises or scenarios to help your mentee practice receiving and responding to feedback in a supportive environment. Seek feedback from other mentors or colleagues to gain insights into alternative approaches or strategies for addressing resistance to feedback.

Build Trust: Before diving in, ensure your mentee trusts your judgment and intentions. Show genuine interest in their goals and challenges. Frame Feedback Positively: Position feedback as a tool for growth, not criticism. Explain how it aligns with their aspirations. Focus on "I" Statements: Instead of accusatory "you" statements (e.g., "You missed the deadline"), use "I" statements (e.g., "I noticed the deadline was missed"). Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage dialogue. Ask "What do you think about...?" to understand their perspective. Focus on Solutions, Not Just Problems: Brainstorm solutions together and offer guidance. Respect Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions (e.g., "It seems like this feedback is frustrating").

Assuming you have the relationship right, as if you don’t, folk are not going to take your feedback, be direct in your questioning. So X, last time we talked about Y and trying Z. How did you get on with that? Then probe with open, constructive questions as to why it didn’t happen. And remember you aren’t their line manager, you are there to push out of the comfort zone but ultimately it’s on the individual to own acting on the feedback given.