You've just presented your work at a conference and you're eager to hear what your peers think. But instead of getting constructive and helpful feedback, you receive vague, irrelevant, or even hostile comments. How do you deal with this situation and learn from it?
It's normal to feel frustrated, disappointed, or hurt when you don't get the feedback you expected or wanted. But don't let these emotions cloud your judgment or affect your professionalism. Take a deep breath, thank the audience for their input, and move on. You can process your feelings later with a trusted colleague or friend.
When evaluating feedback, it's important to consider whether the content is relevant to your goals and objectives, specific and actionable, supported by evidence or examples, and respectful and courteous. If the answer is yes to most of these questions, then the feedback is likely to be constructive and helpful. On the other hand, if the feedback is based on personal preferences, misunderstandings, or biases; or if it is poorly expressed, unclear, or incomplete; then it is probably unconstructive and unhelpful.
Depending on the nature and source of the feedback, you may choose to respond in different ways. For example, if the feedback is constructive and helpful, but you disagree with it, you can acknowledge the different perspectives, explain your rationale, and invite further discussion. On the other hand, if the feedback is unconstructive and unhelpful, but you agree with it, you can acknowledge the valid points, express your willingness to improve, and ask for more specific and actionable suggestions. If the feedback is hostile or abusive, you can assert your boundaries, reject the inappropriate behavior, and end the interaction. Lastly, if the feedback is unconstructive and unhelpful, and you disagree with it, you can politely disagree, state your reasons, and redirect the conversation to more relevant or positive aspects.
Facing unconstructive or negative feedback is an art and most of the people start fumbling once they hear any negative words. 1.The key here is not to lose the presence of mind and realize what is the reason for the negative feedback. 2.If you feel that feedback is not completely valid and you disagree,I would suggest to have a second round of conversation after couple of days where you can share your point of view with supporting points. In this way you will be more composed and can avoid unnecessary exchange of words. 3.Sometimes on the other hand when you give yourself some time pondering over feedback,you will realize that there are some valid points and scope of improvement and hence you can reconnect for improvements.
Regardless of the quality of the feedback, you can always learn something from the experience. You can use the feedback to identify your strengths and weaknesses, refine your skills and knowledge, and improve your communication and presentation style. You can also use the experience to develop your resilience, confidence, and emotional intelligence.
One of the best ways to overcome the negative effects of unconstructive and unhelpful feedback is to seek more feedback from other sources. You can ask for feedback from your colleagues, mentors, or experts in your field. You can also look for feedback from other channels, such as online forums, blogs, or social media. The more feedback you get, the more balanced and comprehensive your perspective will be.
Feedback is sourced from perception. While their may be truth in it, it is not 100%. Each interaction has its own life, energies, and responses. Not every interaction is the same. If you stand in from of 2000 people, you will have 2000 unique perspectives. It's data points. Gather as much of that data as you can. Remember... it's what you choose to do with that data. What actions will you take? Keep in mind... you will not be everyone's favorite. And that's okay.
Finally, remember that feedback is not the end of your journey, but a part of it. Feedback is not a judgment of your worth, but an opportunity to grow. Don't let unconstructive and unhelpful feedback discourage you from pursuing your goals and passions. Instead, use it as a motivation to keep learning, improving, and sharing your work with the world.