What do you do if your colleagues are constantly arguing and creating tension at work?

1 What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to understand and manage your own and others' emotions. It involves four skills: self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management. EI can help you to communicate effectively, empathize with others, resolve problems, and cope with stress. EI is especially important in the workplace, where you have to interact with different personalities, cultures, and opinions.

3 How can you use EI to deal with workplace conflicts?

The first step to deal with workplace conflicts is to use your self-awareness skill to recognize your own emotions and triggers. How do you feel when your colleagues argue or create tension? Do you get angry, frustrated, anxious, or defensive? What are the situations or behaviors that make you feel this way? By being aware of your emotional reactions, you can prevent them from escalating or affecting your judgment.

The second step is to use your self-regulation skill to control your impulses and responses. How do you express your emotions when your colleagues argue or create tension? Do you lash out, withdraw, or ignore them? What are the consequences of your actions? By regulating your emotions, you can choose to respond in a calm, respectful, and constructive way. You can also use coping strategies, such as taking a break, breathing deeply, or talking to someone you trust.

The third step is to use your social awareness skill to understand and empathize with your colleagues' emotions and perspectives. How do they feel when they argue or create tension? What are their needs, goals, or motivations? What are the underlying issues or interests behind their positions? By being aware of your colleagues' emotions, you can avoid assumptions, judgments, or stereotypes. You can also show empathy, compassion, and respect for their feelings and viewpoints.

The fourth step is to use your relationship management skill to communicate and collaborate with your colleagues effectively. How do you communicate your thoughts, feelings, and expectations to your colleagues? How do you listen to their feedback, concerns, or suggestions? How do you resolve conflicts or negotiate solutions with them? By managing your relationships, you can build trust, rapport, and cooperation with your colleagues. You can also use assertive, clear, and positive communication skills to express yourself and understand others.

4 How can EI improve employee engagement?

Employee engagement is the degree to which employees feel committed, motivated, and satisfied with their work and organization. Enhancing the quality of the work environment and the relationships among colleagues can improve employee engagement. This can help employees to feel valued, respected, and appreciated by their colleagues and managers, as well as have a sense of belonging, identity, and purpose in their team and organization. Furthermore, it can lead to a positive attitude, outlook, and mood at work, as well as a high level of performance, productivity, and creativity. Additionally, it can reduce stress, burnout, and turnover.

5 How can you develop your EI skills?

EI is not an inherent trait, but rather a set of skills that can be learned and improved over time. To develop your EI skills, you can seek feedback from others, reflect on your emotions and behaviors, challenge yourself to try new things, learn from mistakes or conflicts, interact with diverse people and cultures, read books or articles on EI or related topics, take courses or workshops on EI, or hire a coach or mentor to guide you. These are all helpful steps to take on your journey to enhancing your emotional intelligence.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?