What do you do if your coach gives feedback you disagree with?

I was in a meeting where a friend of mine referenced something about that hurt my feelings. Everyone in the room laughed which confirmed that there was some truth in what he said. I was angry and wanted to drop out of the group. Upon reflection, I realized that this same statement had been made about me before, from different people in other groups. So maybe it had some truth to it. I then sought counsel from a another friend who encouraged me to call the guy who made the statement. I did and the call went well. The conclusion is complicated but I am so grateful for him telling me the truth and sitting with me as we worked it through. Be thankful for when people give you hard feedback. It maybe exactly what you need to hear.

One think I found that help me is respect the moment keeping silent and only listening, trying to understand the meaning of his words, understand his view of the situation, I believe will help me, can be useful in the end, I will understand or visualize others ways to look the situation.

We should never make snap judgements. Once you have a clear picture of the feedback, take some time to process it. There could be a different perspective you haven't considered. If you still disagree, it's okay to say so. But be respectfult, and back it up with evidence.

Take a moment to calm your initial reaction and reflect on the feedback objectively. Consider why the coach might have given that feedback and how it aligns with your goals.

Journal reflections are less practiced today than in previously generations. Listen, write down what you heard them say, write down what you think they mean, and reflect. There is often some level of truth to what they said and what you think they said. When we can form an assessment of self and drive our focus and comprehension to take the steps needed to improve it’s then that our managers see the growth. We can not help others until we are ready to help ourselves.

The main thing when you hear something you don't agree with is too not let your emotions take a lead, it can only show you don't take constructive feedback and a low level of emotional intelligence. So deep breath, analysis of the feedback once again and then some actions.

Depois de ouvir os pontos apresentados, vale listar os temas, contextos e respectivos contra-pontos (se aplicável). Comece a se perceber nesses contextos, anote as vezes que você foi exposto a determinada situa??o, como foi sua conversa interna, sua emo??o e atitude. Muitas vezes esse ciclo é t?o automático, que n?o notamos, e, ao observar, você perceberá que na maioria das vezes seu coach tem raz?o no que está sinalizando a você.

If you don't agree, it's helpful to first reflect on the feedback and consider if maybe there are alternative interpretations. Take time to think it over and then if needed, seek clarification. Or you may find you have additional information the coach didn't realize that led them to their feedback. Last, reflect on how you generally receive feedback. Do you usually embrace it or does feedback 'trigger' your defense mode? It's possible the feedback is objective and on point, but you feel uncomfortable hearing it.

Seek clarification from your coach to ensure you understand the feedback correctly. Ask specific questions about the areas they highlighted and the reasons behind their observations. That way, you are not just ruling it out outrightly but seeking to understand the reason for the feedback.

Analyze your thoughts, why do you think you don't agree with feedback? Talk it out with the coach in a very professional way and try to state your reasons as well. It happens that what you are thinking and whatever they are trying to convince are two different things, so you both have to come to a conclusion. At last, be honest with yourself and your coach. Take every feedback as an oppurtunity to learn and grow.

Communication is a three-way loop. Listen, acknowledge and give feedback. If any parts of the feedback are unclear or ambiguous, feel free to ask your coach for further clarification. Inquire about their viewpoint by asking targeted questions and providing concrete examples or instances demonstrating their input. Clarifying the feedback is important?to address any misunderstandings or misinterpretations. Furthermore, it showcases your dedication to growth and openness to productive discussions.

Ask for examples to support the feedback so that you can understand the perspective of the coach. It is also perfectly ok to disagree if the feedback is not well supported as anyone’s feedback is an opinion and it’s not a fact. A good coach will not force their opinion on you.

Even though you disagree with the feedback received from your mentor, take it as an opportunity to go through your topic thoroughly once again and reflect on it. Once you are sure that you can disagree based on some assumptions, still follow a lower tone and politely present your concerns. It can give you a chance of heathy debate.

Respectfully share your perspective with your coach. Explain your thoughts, experiences and reasoning behind your actions. Be open to discussing different viewpoints.

Depois de avaliar os pontos, vale definir quais s?o os novos comportamentos que você quer expressar no lugar dos antigos, e encontrar alternativas para atender a essas novas demandas internas. Um bom come?o, é definir qual é o sentimento que se deseja ter no fim deste evento/ situa??o que gera algum comportamento indesejado. Listar quais aprendizados toda essa situa??o trouxe também te ajudará a ter clareza de como melhorar e evoluir.

Once you are sure that you have some disagreement with the feedback, you must politely approach your coach and ask for a discussion. You can prepare a well written report with your concern to discuss or send by email. You and coach both should take enough time to resolve it and plan together before proceeding further to avoid any loop hole.

After listening , its also very very important to communicate what I feel , what I believe into and what are my thoughts... If I don't express it openly and even not giving my best will not lead to intended results

While getting feedback you must be open minded. If you disagree with some points of feedback, reflecting on those points might change your mind. There can be many solutions to a single problem and being open to any change is a great quality to grow professionally.

Delve as to why you disagree, talk to your coach about the feelings you had as a result of the feedback. Ask for coaching support to delve into this

After following my advice from step One (if you choose to) next, you should reflect clearly on what was said and think about why it bothers you. Think about if the feedback is relevant or logical in regard to your situation. If it's not, discuss it with your coach. Respectfully ask them why they gave that specific feedback. Try to be unbiased. If they give you a solid reason and it's really for your benefit, you can accept the feedback. If the reasoning is good but you don't feel comfortable with the feedback, discuss it further and come up with the solution. If it's illogical, you can respectfully let your coach know that you don't agree with it and defend your point of view. If your coach disregards your feelings, find a new one.

Getting feedback from your coach is invaluable as they provide you with a third-party perspective. They aren't directly involved in your day-to-day work, and as your coach, they have your best intentions at heart. They are sharing something they see that can make you better. If you are triggered by feedback from your coach, it's important to take the time to reflect on why that is. On the other hand, It also doesn't mean you need to agree with or do everything your coach tells you. Your coach is there to guide you, but ultimately you need to decide whether you want to accept their feedback and advice as you would with any other person.

If you're smart enough to have a coach, I trust you are smart enough to realise that even if you disagree with the feedback, it doesn't mean is not valuable. Sleep on it, slow down and ask yourself "what if".

I've heard it said...chew on what others say and spit out the bones. That is, there is value in everything that we hear, and we cannot let our egos get in the way of true learning. If it is not for us, we can toss it or file it away because it might become useful in a most unexpected moment.