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What do you do if your boss and you are constantly at odds?

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Having a good relationship with your boss is essential for your career success, job satisfaction, and mental well-being. But what do you do if your boss and you are constantly at odds, disagreeing on everything from work priorities to communication styles? Here are some tips on how to handle this challenging situation and improve your internal communications.

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Tara Janu

Dealer Client Experience Representative | Lending Solutions Expert | Veteran

1 Identify the root cause

The first step is to understand why you and your boss are clashing. Is it a personality conflict, a difference in values, a lack of trust, or a misunderstanding of expectations? Try to see things from your boss's perspective and empathize with their goals, challenges, and pressures. Also, be honest with yourself and acknowledge your own contribution to the conflict. Are you resisting feedback, avoiding responsibility, or undermining your boss's authority?

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Tara Janu

Dealer Client Experience Representative | Lending Solutions Expert | Veteran
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Usually being "at odds" with any coworker/leader is a lack of clear communication. Although your end goals may align, your paths in reaching them may differ. Understand the differences and work together to a compromise.

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Indranil Mukherjee

Manager - Brand, Communications & Marketing
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First Seek Mediation: If the conflict persists despite your efforts to resolve it, consider seeking mediation or assistance from a neutral third party, such as HR or a trusted mentor. A mediator can help facilitate a constructive dialogue and find a mutually acceptable resolution. Calm your emotions down first. And, then plan actions.

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2 Communicate effectively

The second step is to communicate effectively with your boss and address the issues in a respectful and constructive way. Don't avoid or escalate the conflict, but rather seek to resolve it through dialogue and collaboration. Use active listening, open-ended questions, and assertive language to express your needs, concerns, and suggestions. Avoid blaming, criticizing, or attacking your boss, and focus on finding common ground and solutions. Also, be prepared to compromise and adapt to your boss's preferences and expectations.

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Indranil Mukherjee

Manager - Brand, Communications & Marketing
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Have an open, clear, respectful, 1to1 and empatheic conversation. Communicate, communicate and communicate. Improve communication with your boss by being proactive, transparent, and respectful. Keep them informed about your progress, challenges, and any issues that may arise in your work. Be open to feedback and constructive criticism.

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3 Seek support and feedback

The third step is to seek support and feedback from others who can help you improve your relationship with your boss. This could include your peers, mentors, HR, or a coach. Ask them for their advice, insights, and perspectives on how to deal with your boss and how to improve your own performance and communication skills. Also, ask them for feedback on how you are perceived by your boss and others in the organization. Use this information to identify your strengths and areas for improvement.

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4 Set boundaries and expectations

The fourth step is to set boundaries and expectations with your boss and yourself. This means clarifying your roles, responsibilities, and goals, and agreeing on how and when you will communicate and report on your work. It also means respecting your boss's authority and decisions, but also standing up for yourself and your values when necessary. Additionally, it means managing your own emotions, stress, and workload, and taking care of your well-being.

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5 Focus on the positive

The fifth step is to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship with your boss and your work. Instead of dwelling on the negative, try to appreciate what you can learn from your boss, what you have in common, and what you can achieve together. Recognize and celebrate your achievements, and acknowledge and thank your boss for their support, guidance, and feedback. Also, look for opportunities to build rapport and trust with your boss, such as by sharing interests, hobbies, or personal stories.

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6 Evaluate your options

The sixth step is to evaluate your options and decide whether you want to stay or leave. If you have tried everything to improve your relationship with your boss and nothing has changed, or if the situation is affecting your health, happiness, or career growth, you may want to consider looking for another job or transferring to another department. However, before you make this decision, weigh the pros and cons, and explore the alternatives. Also, be professional and respectful , and don't burn any bridges.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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What do you do if your boss and you are constantly at odds?

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1 Identify the root cause

2 Communicate effectively

3 Seek support and feedback

4 Set boundaries and expectations

5 Focus on the positive

6 Evaluate your options

7 Here’s what else to consider

Internal Communications

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What do you do if your boss and you are constantly at odds?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Identify the root cause

2 Communicate effectively

3 Seek support and feedback

4 Set boundaries and expectations

5 Focus on the positive

6 Evaluate your options

7 Here’s what else to consider

Internal Communications

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