What do you do if your assertiveness training isn't improving your communication skills?

1 Reflect Deeply

If assertiveness training isn't yielding the results you hoped for, take a moment to reflect on your practice. Are you truly embracing the principles taught, or are you simply going through the motions? Sometimes, the disconnect between training and real-life application can stem from a lack of self-awareness or fear of change. Reflect on your interactions and consider whether there are underlying issues, such as low self-esteem or past experiences, that are holding you back. Understanding these factors is the first step toward overcoming them.

2 Seek Feedback

One effective way to gauge if your assertiveness is improving is to seek feedback from trusted colleagues, friends, or family members. They can provide insights into how your communication is perceived and whether your assertiveness is coming across as intended. Remember, feedback is not about criticism but about growth. Approach these conversations with an open mind and a willingness to learn, and use the constructive criticism to refine your assertiveness skills.

3 Adjust Tactics

Assertiveness is not a one-size-fits-all skill. If your training isn't improving your communication, consider adjusting your tactics. Pay attention to cultural norms and social contexts, as these can influence how assertiveness is perceived. Tailor your approach to suit different situations and individuals. For instance, being assertive in a professional setting may require different strategies than in personal relationships. Flexibility and adaptation are key to effective assertiveness.

5 Expand Knowledge

Sometimes, additional knowledge is necessary to complement assertiveness training. Explore books, workshops, or even online resources that delve deeper into communication skills and emotional intelligence. Learning about nonverbal communication, active listening, and empathy can enhance your assertiveness by providing a more holistic approach to interactions with others.

6 Enlist Support

Lastly, consider enlisting the support of a coach or mentor who can guide you through the process of becoming more assertive. A professional can offer personalized advice, help you navigate complex situations, and keep you accountable. With the right support, you can overcome obstacles and develop the assertive communication skills you desire.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?