What do you do if your assertiveness skills are holding you back from career progression?

Struggling with assertiveness is a challenge many of us face at some point. A coaching client of mine shared this exact concern. His hesitancy to speak up in meetings or advocate for his ideas, fearing rejection or conflict was a career roadblock. I directed him to workshops, where he practiced assertive communication techniques, and gradually stepped out of his comfort zone. Over time, he's seeing a positive shift in how he's being perceived and his ability to influence outcomes. Remember, assertiveness is a skill that can be learned and honed with practice. Don't hesitate to seek support from mentors or coaches who can provide guidance tailored to your specific needs.

If your assertiveness skills are impeding your career advancement, take proactive measures to enhance them. Begin by introspecting on challenging scenarios, enroll in assertiveness training, practice in less intense situations, and request feedback from mentors. Emulate assertive role models, bolster overall confidence, and reframe assertiveness as a crucial asset for effective communication and professional growth.

When you have a clear understanding of what you want to achieve and where to set limits, you can navigate your career path with confidence and determination. This self-awareness not only influences your relationships and decision-making but also empowers you to assert yourself. By regularly reassessing these goals and boundaries, you can stay aligned with your career aspirations, ensuring that you proactively and confidently work towards your professional objectives.

The "non-negotiables" play an important role here. That is, once you have chosen your goals, what are you willing to do/accept and what are you not willing to do/accept in order to achieve them? Being clear about this has helped me to know when to say no and to explain with clarity, certainty and arguments why, it has also helped me to defend what I believe I deserve.

Realizing my assertiveness hindered career progression, I sought improvement. Collaborating with my wife, we delved into scenarios where I struggled to assert myself at work. Together, we crafted strategies and rehearsed dialogues to boost my confidence. In a crucial moment, I needed to negotiate a flexible work schedule to accommodate family commitments. My wife, playing the role of my manager, provided invaluable feedback on my tone and approach. Through multiple rehearsals, I refined my communication style, gaining the assurance to voice my needs respectfully. When the time came to speak with my manager, I felt prepared. To my relief, my manager appreciated my professionalism and approved the schedule adjustment without hesitation.