What do you do if your assertiveness and confidence aren't helping you influence others?

1 Adapt to your audience

One of the reasons why your assertiveness and confidence may not work is that you are not taking into account the needs, preferences, and styles of your audience. Different people respond differently to various communication approaches, and you need to adapt your message and delivery accordingly. For example, some people may appreciate direct and concise communication, while others may prefer more details and explanations. Some people may value logic and facts, while others may rely more on emotions and values. To adapt to your audience, you need to do some research, ask questions, listen actively, and observe their cues and feedback.

2 Use storytelling and examples

Another way to enhance your influence is to use storytelling and examples to illustrate your points and connect with your audience. Stories and examples can make your message more memorable, engaging, and relatable, as well as appeal to different learning styles and senses. They can also help you establish credibility, trust, and rapport with your listeners, as they show your personal experience, knowledge, and values. To use storytelling and examples effectively, you need to choose relevant and meaningful ones that support your message, use vivid language and imagery, and keep them concise and clear.

4 Ask for feedback and input

One of the common mistakes that can reduce your influence is to assume that you know everything or that you have the best solution. This can alienate your audience, as they may feel ignored, excluded, or disrespected. To increase your influence, you need to ask for feedback and input from your listeners, as this shows that you value their opinions, ideas, and suggestions. It also helps you to improve your message, delivery, and relationship with your audience, as well as to identify and address any gaps, issues, or objections. To ask for feedback and input, you need to use open-ended questions, listen attentively, and respond constructively.

5 Follow up and follow through

The final strategy to boost your influence is to follow up and follow through with your audience. This means that you need to keep in touch with them after your communication, provide any additional information or support they may need, and deliver on your promises and commitments. This shows that you are reliable, consistent, and accountable, as well as that you care about your audience and their outcomes. It also helps you to reinforce your message, build long-term rapport and trust, and create opportunities for further communication and collaboration. To follow up and follow through, you need to set clear expectations, communicate regularly, and update your progress.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?