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What do you do if you struggle with active listening when receiving feedback?

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Receiving feedback is a crucial part of personal and professional development, but it can be challenging if you struggle with active listening. Active listening is not just about hearing the words being said but also understanding the message, acknowledging the emotions involved, and responding thoughtfully. Emotional intelligence plays a significant role in active listening, especially when the feedback is critical. It requires self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills to engage effectively in this process. If you find yourself struggling with active listening when receiving feedback, there are strategies you can employ to improve your response.

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Asad Iqbal Sheikh

Futurist, Career Coach, HR Generalist, Head of HR
Khaola Shahid

Head of Strategy | Head of Research | Customer Experience | Data Storyteller | Insights Specialist | Customer Journey…

1 Acknowledge Difficulty

When you find active listening during feedback sessions challenging, the first step is to acknowledge this difficulty to yourself. Recognizing that you have this struggle is a sign of self-awareness, a core component of emotional intelligence. It's important to understand that active listening isn't just about the mechanical act of hearing but involves processing and engaging with the information presented. By admitting that you have a problem in this area, you're setting the stage for personal growth and opening up the possibility to change your approach to receiving feedback.

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Khaola Shahid

Head of Strategy | Head of Research | Customer Experience | Data Storyteller | Insights Specialist | Customer Journey Content Writer | Strategy | Communication | Service Quality
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Once you've realized the problem, try looking for the solution(s) at small level. For instance, you keep a notebook with you and start writing key points. As human being, majority people struggle to let other person finish and try to respond to each point while getting the feedback. Best way is to write pointers in notebook and then at the end of discussion, start discussing those points. In this way, you'll stay active throughout the discussion. Do not give facial expressions while the other person is talking. Let them finish and meanwhile you can recall the instances or your points to defend. This will keep you active.

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Asad Iqbal Sheikh

Futurist, Career Coach, HR Generalist, Head of HR
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Yes somehow, especially when the other person is misunderstanding some fact, etc. However, with time it got improved but still have space in it.

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2 Stay Present

One of the most effective ways to improve your active listening skills is to practice staying present during feedback. This means focusing your attention on the speaker, avoiding distractions, and resisting the urge to formulate your response while the other person is still talking. To do this, you might need to consciously remind yourself to stay in the moment or even practice mindfulness exercises outside of feedback sessions to improve your ability to concentrate. Staying present not only shows respect for the speaker but also ensures that you're truly absorbing what's being said.

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Asad Iqbal Sheikh

Futurist, Career Coach, HR Generalist, Head of HR
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Emotional health and ability to listen to criticism usually impact presence. Dopamine fasting is considerably impact your active listen ability & manage focus. Read more on it especially if you are from Gen Z.

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3 Control Emotions

Managing your emotional reactions is a key aspect of emotional intelligence and is particularly important when receiving feedback. If you find yourself getting defensive or upset, take a moment to breathe and remind yourself that feedback is an opportunity for growth, not a personal attack. This self-regulation allows you to process the information more objectively and respond in a constructive manner. Remember, controlling your emotions doesn't mean ignoring them—it means understanding and managing them so they don't interfere with your ability to listen.

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Asad Iqbal Sheikh

Futurist, Career Coach, HR Generalist, Head of HR
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Keep smiling and concerned also helps and usually the speaker gets softer while choosing words for you. Thinking about the opportunity to improve yourself is also meaningful. Write misunderstandings and explain at the end to the speaker so your feedback is not unsaid.

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4 Ask Questions

If you're struggling to listen actively, asking clarifying questions can be a helpful strategy. This not only shows that you're engaged in the conversation but also ensures you fully understand the feedback. It's an opportunity to delve deeper into specific points and demonstrates that you value the person's input. Additionally, asking questions can sometimes help diffuse any tension in the conversation, making it easier for you to listen and for the other person to provide honest feedback.

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5 Reflect Back

Reflecting back what you've heard is an excellent way to confirm your understanding of the feedback and show that you're actively listening. This technique involves summarizing the main points or emotions expressed by the speaker and repeating them back in your own words. It helps to ensure that there's no miscommunication and that both parties are on the same page. Reflecting back can also demonstrate empathy, as it shows you're trying to see things from the speaker's perspective.

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6 Practice Regularly

Like any skill, active listening improves with regular practice. Seek out opportunities to receive feedback, whether it's through formal performance reviews or casual conversations with colleagues. The more you practice active listening, the more natural it will become. You can also engage in exercises designed to enhance listening skills, such as repeating conversations in your head to ensure you've captured the details or even role-playing feedback sessions with a friend or mentor.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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What do you do if you struggle with active listening when receiving feedback?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Acknowledge Difficulty

2 Stay Present

3 Control Emotions

4 Ask Questions

5 Reflect Back

6 Practice Regularly

7 Here’s what else to consider

Emotional Intelligence

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What do you do if you struggle with active listening when receiving feedback?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Acknowledge Difficulty

2 Stay Present

3 Control Emotions

4 Ask Questions

5 Reflect Back

6 Practice Regularly

7 Here’s what else to consider

Emotional Intelligence

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