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What do you do if you receive constructive criticism that triggers defensiveness?

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Constructive criticism is essential for learning and improving your skills, but it can also be hard to hear. Sometimes, you might feel defensive, angry, or hurt when someone points out your mistakes or suggests areas for improvement. However, reacting defensively can damage your relationships, reputation, and progress. How can you overcome your defensiveness and respond to constructive criticism in a positive and professional way? Here are some tips to help you.

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1 Acknowledge your emotions

The first step is to recognize and accept your emotional reaction to the feedback. You might feel a surge of adrenaline, a knot in your stomach, or a flush in your face. These are normal and natural responses, but they can cloud your judgment and make you say or do things you regret. Instead of acting on your emotions, take a deep breath, count to ten, or ask for some time to process the feedback. This will help you calm down and prepare for a rational and respectful response.

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Wylliam Menezes Vieira

Professor | Doutorando | Marketing | Projetos | Inova??o | Empreendedorismo | Pai do Teodoro I 10+ anos impulsionando projetos e negócios - e nas pessoas também.
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Em constante evolu??o intelectual e de mindset de crescimento, o feedback acaba sendo um norteador sobre o projeto, trabalho desenvolvido e de como é possível melhorar cada vez mais.

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Dr. Ben Andrew, CSP

Chief, Safety & Emergency Management at U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs
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Emotional intelligence (EQ) is key for any professional operating in our dynamic society. Whether you're in customer service, logistics, higher education or an entrepreneur, EQ is necessary. We simply cannot afford to act on every emotion we feel. This would be careless and could create unnecessary tension. I encourage folks to take the responsibility route. It's our responsibility to acknowledge how we're feeling and to make a judgement on how that should be expressed. Sometimes it's best to pause, calm down and process before you proceed.

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2 Listen actively and respectfully

The second step is to listen to the feedback with an open mind and a positive attitude. Don't interrupt, argue, or make excuses. Try to understand the perspective and intention of the person giving you the feedback. Ask clarifying questions, summarize what you heard, and thank them for their input. Listening actively and respectfully shows that you value their opinion and that you are willing to learn from them.

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Barbara Vokatis, Ph.D.

International Expert & Innovator in Animal-Assisted Education| Professor at SUNY Oneonta| Literacy Programs and Clinic Coordinator| Award-winning Author| Keynote Speaker| Parent of neurodivergent teen
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Listening calmly is the most important thing in such a situation. We need to train ourselves for calm responsiveness to any circumstance and this is just one of them. And then I would simply thank for the feedback and think about it a bit later. There is no need to react to it on the spot.

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Dr. Ben Andrew, CSP

Chief, Safety & Emergency Management at U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs
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Listening helps us to understand and gives us the data needed to process information. If we fail to listen, we could proceed with inadequate solutions. This could be a waste of time and would add additional problems. Oftentimes we hear, but don't listen. Take time to process and value what's being communicated. It only informs your next steps which helps you and everyone else.

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Wylliam Menezes Vieira

Professor | Doutorando | Marketing | Projetos | Inova??o | Empreendedorismo | Pai do Teodoro I 10+ anos impulsionando projetos e negócios - e nas pessoas também.
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No calor da emo??o, dependendo do momento e do feedbaack recebido, o emissor tens como objetivo de passar uma mensagem, tanto positiva quanto negativa, sobre alguma entrega sua. Nesse momento o receptor (você) precisa estar com a mentalidade do crescimento em alta, para que o feedback recebido, seja analisado como construtivo e agregador.

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3 Evaluate the feedback

The third step is to evaluate the feedback and decide what to do with it. Not all feedback is equally valid, useful, or relevant. You need to consider the source, the context, the evidence, and the goals of the feedback. Is the person giving you the feedback credible, experienced, and supportive? Is the feedback based on facts, observations, or examples? Is the feedback relevant to your performance, expectations, or standards? Is the feedback aligned with your goals, values, or interests? Based on these criteria, you can decide whether to accept, reject, or modify the feedback.

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Wylliam Menezes Vieira

Professor | Doutorando | Marketing | Projetos | Inova??o | Empreendedorismo | Pai do Teodoro I 10+ anos impulsionando projetos e negócios - e nas pessoas também.
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Contra fatos n?o há argumentos, mas o contexto da situa??o é importante avaliar para que a interpreta??o n?o seja feita de forma genérica ou err?nea. Analise os dados/fatos sobre determinado assunto que irá atuar para que tenha propriedade e seguran?a em construir um feedback de valor.

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4 Respond appropriately

The fourth step is to respond to the feedback in a way that reflects your professionalism and maturity. Whether you agree or disagree with the feedback, you should always be polite, honest, and constructive. Express your appreciation for the feedback, acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses, and explain how you plan to act on the feedback or why you disagree with it. Avoid being defensive, aggressive, or dismissive. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of the feedback, such as the opportunity to improve your skills, the support you receive, or the feedback culture you foster.

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5 Take action and follow up

The fifth step is to take action and follow up on the feedback. Depending on the nature and scope of the feedback, you might need to make some changes in your behavior, skills, or strategies. You might also need to seek additional feedback, guidance, or resources to help you improve. Whatever you do, make sure you communicate your actions and progress to the person who gave you the feedback. This will show them that you took their feedback seriously and that you are committed to your learning and growth.

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6 Learn and grow

The sixth and final step is to learn and grow from the feedback. Constructive criticism is not a personal attack or a sign of failure. It is a valuable source of information and insight that can help you enhance your performance, potential, and satisfaction. By overcoming your defensiveness and responding to constructive criticism in a positive and professional way, you can build trust, respect, and collaboration with others, as well as develop your skills, confidence, and resilience.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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What do you do if you receive constructive criticism that triggers defensiveness?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Acknowledge your emotions

2 Listen actively and respectfully

3 Evaluate the feedback

4 Respond appropriately

5 Take action and follow up

6 Learn and grow

7 Here’s what else to consider

Higher Education

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What do you do if you receive constructive criticism that triggers defensiveness?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Acknowledge your emotions

2 Listen actively and respectfully

3 Evaluate the feedback

4 Respond appropriately

5 Take action and follow up

6 Learn and grow

7 Here’s what else to consider

Higher Education

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感谢您的反馈

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